Now and Forever, I Will Always Love You
by Swmrgrl87
Summary: After years of being held hostage in the wake of a convoy attack, Paige McCullers is finally coming home. The problem is that the love of her life, Emily Fields was told she was dead. Paily. Rated M. Slightly AU but not completely.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hi everybody. I'm back. Some stuff in my life lead me to have to delete this story in the first place but now I am in a place that I can start posting it again. The chapters might change a little bit. I plan on tweaking the chapters and perhaps adding more details but we will see how things go. Thanks again for all your comments the first time and can't wait to hear what all you have to say this time. **

**Enjoy!**

Now and Forever, I Will Always Love You

I wake up the same way I have for, what I'm assuming, is the past few years: in complete and utter darkness. It's this same impossible darkness that I wake to every morning that makes me wonder if I'm dead, to hope I'm dead. I lay still, not wanting to break the silence, the stillness of the dark. As consciousness slowly starts to filter back to me, I become aware of the cold, hard, dusty earth I'm lying on. I shift my body a little, moaning due to the stiffness and pain that I suddenly feel. The brief hope I had is gone, disappearing in an instant as the reality of my situation once again sets in. I'm definitely somehow still alive and the sweet dreams and escape of sleep are about to once again be replaced by the nightmare that has become my daily life.

"Fu-u-ck" I moan out to the darkness as I force myself to rollover, in an attempt to sit up despite the pain in my chest. It's almost impossible to but I somehow manage to get myself somewhat upright. I wrap my left arm around my rib cage, trying to nurse the pain, as I reach out for the wall with my right.

"Oh good, they threw me near the wall this time." I mutter as my hand makes contact with the wall. I shift slightly in order to painfully lean myself against it, thankful that I didn't have to drag my beaten and broken body very far this time. I lightly prod at my ribs to assess the damage caused to them yesterday thankful that they are only sore to the touch. I note to myself that I am severely lucky that they are probably only bruised. The pain I received with each agonizing blow from multiple boots kicking me repeatedly would have fooled anyone into believing their ribs were shattered. Today was definitely going to be difficult, to put it nicely. I try to find a way to ignore the pain so I can just survive the day, same as every day. Soon they'll come in to get me, force me to work all day in the scorching sun, beat me silly if they happen to feel like and then feed me enough to keep me alive for the next day before throwing me back here in the dark. But, being thrown back here is the best part of my day. There's no sun, it's quiet and I'm alone.

I use the dark to escape, however briefly, the horror of being trapped here with these people. I escape and find my way back home. I go back home to the pool in my parents back yard on a perfect summer day with my feet hanging off the edge in the cool and refreshing water. The sun is setting; a light breeze rolling by adds greater relief to the warm summer night. I look down and see a pair of legs dangling next to mine; our feet bumping into each other. My eyes follow the long, tan and toned legs up to her lap where I find her fingers intertwined in mine. The sight brings a smile to my face. I continue my gaze up to look at her sitting next to me. Her long dark hair flows over her shoulders, hiding a part of her face as she watches our feet play together in the water. She must notice that I'm staring because she turns her head to face me, allowing me to fully see how beautiful she is. My heart skips a beat as I look into her dark eyes and my smile grows wider. She smiles back and I swear it's a good thing I'm sitting because it makes my knees go weak. She begins to lean into me; my heart starts racing….

_BAM!_ The heavy metal door to my cell opens with a deafening bang letting the searing morning sun flood onto me, yanking me back from my sanctuary into the glaring light of reality. I squint at the doorway, a look of defeat and anger on my face. One of my captors enters into my sacred darkness and roughly yanks me to my feet. He yells at me in a language I still don't understand but I know he's telling me to walk. It's time to start my agonizing day of work. My only hope now is that the day goes by quickly so I can return here to the dark and once again escape into the arms of my love… My Emily….


	2. Chapter 2

"EMILY! What the hell is taking so long? I'm starving and I want to eat so we can go dance!" Hanna yelled from the foot of the stairs. It has been a very long week and all four friends are finally able to all get together to rant, unwind and relax together. Emily sits on the edge of her bed with her head down, staring at slightly twisted and charred metal in her hands. It had taken her almost a year after being told her Paige had been killed in action to finally get the courage to move on. From then on, she decided to allow herself two days a year to be sad.

_"Promise me Emily. Promise me that if I don't come back that you'll move on. I want you to live your life. I want you to be happy. Ok?"_

Even though she kept her promise, she had moved on, she couldn't help but be sad today. Today and the day Paige had died are the two days she allows herself to be overwhelmed with emotions again. She'd gotten good at hiding the emotions from everyone else, maybe that why her friends seemed to not realize what day it was.

"It's your birthday. Your twenty-sixth birthday," She says to the empty room; a tear falling from her eyes.

"Happy Birthday Paige. I love you. I always will." She says looking down once again to her hands. She takes a moment to rub her finger over the almost barely recognizable letters that are stamped on the metal. Her tags are the only evidence of her they had found in the wreckage of the attack. Any human life was burned to bits. Paige was just gone; no body, no closure, just gone. Emily's fingers move to the addition she had added to the chain, fumbling with it as another tear fell. She had found it as she was going through Paige's things a few months after her whole world was turned upside down. She had been going through Paige's desk, separating documents from memories, when she felt the small box hidden in the back. When she opened it, she couldn't help the steady flow of tears and sobs that erupted from her the moment she saw the most beautiful ring she'd ever seen. Paige had been planning to propose. Now sitting on her bed, looking at the ring, Emily can't help thinking about how she'd be married to the love of her life right now; a dream that had been suddenly stripped away. When she's finally able to pull herself together, hiding any evidence that she'd been crying, she slips Paige's tags around her neck and heads down the stairs to the distraction of her waiting friends.

"Finally! What the hell took you so long?" Hanna exclaims. The other girls had gotten the Chinese they had ordered ready and were all obviously about to sit down and start eating.

"Shut up Hanna. You take ten times longer to get ready on a normal day." Spencer says, rolling her eyes. "Everything ok Em?" She looks at Emily with concern because Emily was, in fact, upstairs for a while.

"Yeah, everything is good. It's just been a pretty long week." Emily replies only half lying. It really has been a rough week for her. The girls on the swim team she coaches had to have gotten together and decide to make this week miserable for her, she's sure of it. It was as if they weren't even trying to hide it. She sighs as the girls all nod in agreement.

"Tell me about it," replies Spencer. "I'm really not sure right now if it's all been one day or I haven't slept in three. The days are all kinda blurring together."

"Agreed," Hanna adds in. "Can't wait to go dancing and blow off some steam. Too bad Steph isn't here. She's always the most fun to dance with. Where is that girl of yours anyways, Em?"

"I'm offended, Hanna. I thought I was your favorite to dance with," Aria comments, pretending to act offended. All four girls laugh; finally being able to relax and have some fun.

"She's still in Chicago for her business conference Han. We talked about this." Emily shakes her head, literally in awe of how forgetful her friend can be.

"Oh yeah. Duh," Hanna replies taking a bite of her meal. When the doorbell rings everyone looks up with confused looks on their faces. Neither of them was expecting anyone.

"Ok, well don't everyone jump up at once. Don't worry I'll go get it," Hanna teases as she gets up from the table to head to the door. The other girls can hear the door opening followed by a high pitched squeal. Next thing they know, Hanna is bounding back into the kitchen, practically skipping, towing another person behind her.

"Em! Look who's here!" Hanna squeals again as she pulls the figure into the room to present to the other girls.

"Oh my God, Steph! What are you doing here? I thought your conference wasn't going to be done for two more days!" Emily exclaims genuinely happy to see her girlfriend standing there. She gets up from the table to rush over into Stephanie's welcoming arms. It's just what she needed, a loving hug to comfort her on this difficult day. She's not Paige; Emily doesn't expect her to be, because after Paige, Stephanie really is the best thing that's ever happened to her. Stephanie had come into Emily's life about a year after Paige's death. She had walked into the coffee shop Emily was working at, at the time. Emily had spotted her right away. There was just something about her that intrigued her. Of course, she was beautiful with her light brown hair cut close to her head in a pixie cut, her stunning blue eyes and toned figure, but there was just this air about her that led Emily to want to get to know her. Stephanie wasted no time in befriending her and a few weeks later asked Emily out. It was the best decision she had ever made. She loves everything about Emily and plans on spending the rest of her life with her despite knowing that there will always be a part of her girlfriend's heart that belonged to Paige. Stephanie understands that and in fact she is Emily's biggest supporter because she knows she is lucky to have a girl like Emily in her life.

"Hey there beautiful," Stephanie says accepting her girlfriend into her arms for a tight hug. "I wanted to surprise you." She pulls back in order to give her girlfriend a short put passionate kiss. "Happy to see me? I missed you." She says, looking into Emily's face with a smile.

"Of course, I'm happy to see you. I really missed you," Emily replies returning Stephanie's smile before leaning in to kiss her again. "I kind of love you, you know," she adds, making her girlfriend chuckle. Before Stephanie can reply, she's interrupted.

"Oh get a room," Hanna teases. "You two are so cute that it makes me sick." Making eye contact with Stephanie, who was still holding tightly onto Emily she adds, "Come out with us tonight Steph. I think you still owe me a dance."

"Don't worry Hanna, I'll make sure you get your dance," She replies taking her eyes away from Emily's for only a second. Looking back into her girlfriend's beautiful brown eyes, Stephanie gets the confidence to finally ask Emily the question that's been on her mind for months now. "I need to ask Em a question first," she says receiving a confused eye-brow raise from Emily. She removes her arms from around Emily's waist in order to take a step back and hold her hands.

"Emily, I can't tell you how much the last two years has meant to me. I can't believe how lucky I am that you happened to be in working that day, in that coffee shop. My life changed the moment I looked into your eyes for the first time," Stephanie began; a lump starting in her throat. The other girls were staring at the pair, starting to get an idea of where this speech was headed.

"Every time I get to be with you is the best time of my life and I can't tell you how much I want you in my future. I love you so much Emily."

Emily suddenly realizes exactly where this is going and her face starts to show it. 'No, Steph. Not today, I can't handle this today,' she thinks. If Stephanie is about to do what Emily thinks she is going to do, on today of all days, there is no way Emily is going to be able to keep it together. The joy and the sorrow would end up mixing together into a dangerous cocktail that she won't be able to hold down. Emily issn't the only one who realizes exactly what is happening. Spencer easily makes the connection and looks to Emily's face not wanting to miss her reaction. She is so happy for her friend until she sees a look on Emily's face that she isn't expecting. She looks nervous and upset, as if she is about to puke all over the girl standing in front of her gently holding her hands and spilling her heart out. That's when she notices Emily's hand reach up to her chest to slightly clutch something under her shirt. 'Oh my God. It's June. It's mid-June. It's not today is it? It can't possibly be today,' Spencer thinks her eyes going wide in realization. She wants to open her mouth to say something but it's too late. Stephanie reaches into her pocket and is dropping to one knee. Hanna squeals, Aria gasps in excitement and Emily's face drops.

"Emily, will you make me the happiest woman in the world and marry me?" Stephanie asks looking up into her girlfriend's eyes. The look she sees instantly worries her. It doesn't make sense. She was sure they felt the same way. So why is Emily looking at her like that? That's when Emily brakes. All she can do is shake her head and mutter a quiet, "I'm so sorry" before running out of the house. Stephanie slowly stands not knowing what just happened. Hanna and Aria share the same look of confusion until Spencer speaks up.

"Guys, what's the date today?" she says quietly, already sure of what the answer is.

"June, 15th. Why?" Stephanie replies, still looking dumbfounded in the direction in which her girlfriend just ran. Hanna quietly let out a muffled "oh no" in reply, Aria's eyes go wide as her hand fly to her mouth realizing what day it is; and Spencer just hangs her head and whispers, "Shit." Realizing she is missing something Stephanie looks at the girls in confusion and tries to will them to say more. Finally, Hanna sees her frantically looking between the three of them.

"Steph, I know you she wasn't your friend. Hell, you didn't even know her but if you're going to be with Emily, you really need to add this date to your calendar," Hanna says quietly putting a hand on her confused friend's shoulder as she walks past her to sit across from Spencer. It takes less than a second for the girl to realize what was wrong.

"Fuck," is all she says as she runs towards the door to go after her distraught girlfriend. She doesn't have to go far to find Emily, who is sitting on a bench on the porch with her head in her hands. She is noticeably shaking and Stephanie can hear the sobs. It breaks her heart to see Emily like this. Without saying a word, she sits down next to Emily pulling the crying girl into her arms. They sit like that for a little while until the crying from the dark-haired girl finally slows.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart," Stephanie finally says, kissing the top of the other girls head. "I can't believe I forgot about today. I'm so sorry." The other girl lifts her head to look into her girlfriend's eyes.

"It's ok. I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have run out like that."

"No, I should have known. I shouldn't have asked. Not today anyway. I guess I'll just have to try again tomorrow," the short-haired girl says, trying to lighten the mood, even just a little. She receives a small but sad smile back. "Really Em, It's ok. I understand. Just please think about it ok? I'll take an answer whenever you're ready." Stephanie scans her girlfriend's face trying her best to figure out what Emily is thinking.

"I don't need time, Steph. I need you. I want to be with you. There was just too many emotions that I couldn't hold it all in," She says before leaning into to lightly kiss the other's lips. She smiles against her lips before pulling back to whisper, "Yes, Stephanie Miller, I would love to marry you."

"Really?" Stephanie whispers as a smile returns to her face.

"Really. I love you so much," Emily replies before watching her girlfriend turn into her fiancé as the ring is slid onto her finger.


	3. Chapter 3

**-A Note: Hope everyone is enjoying the episode right now. Her's another chapter. A couple small tweaks, just some better grammar and a sentence or two added. Enjoy!**

I drop to my knees as the pain in my ribs becomes unbearable. The heat is not helping matters not to mention the lack of water I'm receiving from my captors. I try to get up quickly before anyone sees, knowing the consequences they inflict on a slave who's slacking on their work. I've seen my fellow soldiers, who were captured with me, get whipped, tortured and killed since I arrived here. I'm the only one left of the six that were dragged here. The agonizing images of each one's death will be forever seared into my brain. I'm not sure how long it has been since I had to watch the last one die, leaving me alone with these awful people. I stood there, forced to watch him get whipped until he finally took his last agonizing breath. 'Come on. Get up,' I think to myself. Just as I get a foot planted on the ground in an effort to stand up, I hear a loud crack accompanied by an immediate stinging force striking my back. The blow of the whip, lays me out on the ground, my face in the dirt. Before I can even think to force myself up, the whip is laid across my back once again. It's in this moment that I realize I'm about to die; all this time alive in this hell hole coming down to this one moment. I force myself to try to forget the pain, knowing it will be over soon. I try to force myself to go to Emily's arms where I can die in peace. But I don't die. I hear a loud crack but the stinking blow never comes and my ears begin to register more loud cracks and booms. It takes me a minute to recognize the sound: gunfire. I push myself out of the dirt to kneel on all fours, trying to see what is happening. I find one of my captors lying next to me with a bullet through his chest. I painfully look around to see the others running in panic while others return fire. I look around; searching for the source of the original gunfire when I see figures advancing and my heart begins to race. I know that familiar camo pattern. I wear the same, though mine is now faded, worn and ripped to pieces. Another unit has found the camp and is now attacking. I can't believe this is happening. Is this happening? Before I can answer myself, one of the advancing figures reaches me. She's a young soldier. She looks into my face and realizes I'm an American to which her face shows surprise. They didn't know there were hostages. She shakes off her surprise before grabbing me under my arms to help pull me to safety. She helps me into the Humvee and immediately starts to assess and treat my wounds.

"Madam, My name is Private Jamie Lewis. I'm going to help you out as best I can ok?" She looks at me concerned but confident. I nod still not entirely sure I'm not dreaming. "What's your name?" she implores as she pulls out the medical kit.

"Paige McCullers," I manage to say. "Lieutenant Paige McCullers." I wince as she applies some solution to clean one of the wounds on my back. The Humvee is rough as the driver navigates the rough terrain on the way back to what I'm assuming is base camp, making the sting a little more uncomfortable.

"Lieutenant, How long have you been out there?" She implores as she continues to address my wounds the best she can.

"I'm not sure. What's the date?"

"June 15th, 2014 madam," she says looking at me. My eyes get wide as I realize how long it's been.

"Three and a half years?" I question out loud. It's really been that long? It's then I realize something else that makes me let out a small sad laugh. I can tell Private Lewis is confused about why such a revelation would want to make someone giggle. She looks at me imploringly, non-verbally trying to ask me what I find so funny in this awful situation.

"Private, you and your unit just gave me one of the best birthday presents a girl could ask for," I say looking into her eyes. "Happy twenty-sixth birthday to me." I look into her face one last time to see a timid smile on her face.

"We're going to get you home soon enough, Lieutenant."

Home. The word hits me like a ton of bricks. I'm going home. Suddenly, Emily is all I can think about. It's been three and a half years. Does she think I'm dead? She must. Before, I can think any more, I pass out with the thought of seeing my Emily again fresh on my mind.


	4. Chapter 4

The last three months have been a blur of consciousness. I had been in and out of sleep the entire time, only half aware of the milling bodies and hush voices around me. My bloody, beaten and bruised body was continuing to be treated, forcing me in and out of natural and medication-induced rest. I didn't really mind. I haven't really had good rest in over three years. I barely remember conversations from when I first arrived here, between doctors and military officials trying to wrap their heads around what had happened out there. Then there was surgery. When I slightly woke up from that, I heard more talk of notifying someone. They wouldn't find anyone to tell though. My parents had died in a car crash before I went to college, leaving the house to me and since Emily and I weren't married or in a state where we could marry, they didn't have any way to contact her. Legally they couldn't contact her. In fact, Emily probably only learned I was presumed dead because I had left her everything I had to her in my will before I left. Suddenly, my mind wanders to the ring I had left in my desk. Had she found it? She had to have. Was she still living in the house? Was she even still in Rosewood? I knew I'd get those answers soon enough.

When I was finally able to stay awake for more then two minutes, the doctors had come in and explained to me what all they did and my current status. Surprisingly, I may get out of this with just a slight limp and a boat load of scars. After the doctors, I was debriefed and told I was to be honorably discharged, sent home and set up with some clothes and a hotel room until I found somewhere to live. Returning from the dead is apparently not an easy feat but they did set up a bank account with my salary for the last three years in it. Finally released from the hospital in Paris about three months after I was rescued, I am headed back home carrying only a duffel bag with some military issue clothing and thoughts of Emily with me.

The flight I'm on is taking forever and I can't sleep. I'm not sure if it's nerves or that I basically just slept for three months but I let my mind slip to distract me.

"_Paige? Hello? Earth to Paige!" Emily says waving her hand in front of my face. I finally snap back to reality and dip my head before smirking to look up at her. "There she is! Where'd you go McCullers? Who was that on the phone?" She sits down next to me on the couch and leans into me, resting her head on my shoulder before I answer her._

_"Em that was base... My unit is being deployed," I say with sadness clear in my voice. I don't want to leave her. We were just getting our life together. She had just moved into the house my parents left me and I had just gotten that ring which was now stashed in my desk drawer. Why did I have to get deployed now? I feel Emily shift to sit up and look at me._

_"What?" She exclaims; clearly upset. "When is this happening?"_

_"I leave in a week." I can barely choke out the words. I can see the wetness forming in her eyes. It's my first deployment and I can tell we are both scared. I take her face in my hands and bring it towards me, connecting our lips in a long passionate kiss. "It's going to be ok Em."_

_"What if it's not? What if something happens to you Paige?" She replies her voice cracking, tears falling from her eyes._

_"If something happens to me, Emily, I want you to move on." It's true. All I want is for her to be happy. It's all I've ever wanted for her. Her smile is too amazing to deprive the world of._

_"What... Paige... No, I can't do that," she stumbles trying to find the words. I look at her again my face pleading with her to give me this. I need to know that if something happens she'll move on. I need to know she'll survive and live her life even if I'm not there to share it with her._

_"Promise me Emily. Promise me that if I don't come back that you'll move on. I want you to live your life. I want you to be happy. Ok?" I plead with her as my own eyes starting to tear._

_"Ok, Paige. I promise." She barely whispers it. I wipe the tears from under her eyes before kissing her again, this time fully and deeply. I don't want to break the kiss, but I do so I can look into her eyes and pour my heart into them._

_"I love you Emily Fields. Now and forever, I will always love you, no matter what." I search her eyes as she smiles slightly._

_"I love you too Paige"_

I'm jolted out of my memories by the plane finally landing in Philadelphia, PA. I will have to take a taxi the rest of the way. The sun is just coming up when the car pulls up to the one hotel in small town of Rosewood, Pennsylvania. I get out of the cab and stretch my back, stiff from the long flight and car ride. After paying my fare, I limp my way to the office with my duffel to find where I am staying. By the time I find my room, I realize I'm starving and in desperate need of caffeine from not being able to sleep for the entire plane ride. Setting my duffel on the bed, I immediately turn around and head back out into the crisp September air.

I find my way down the familiar yet foreign streets of town to the old coffee shop Emily used to work at, keeping my head down to avoid eye contact with people who may know me. I'm not positive how many people I'd be able to tell my story to and I don't want to waste it on people I barely spoke to in high school. When I step into the shop, I realize nothing has really changed in this town. It's exactly how I remember it. The only thing missing was... Nope things really aren't any different because there in the same place as always is Spencer, Aria and Hanna. After a quick scan of the place, however, I realize that one most important detail from my memory is missing: She's not here. I'll have to wait a little longer to see Emily.


	5. Chapter 5

The girls find themselves at their normal place on Saturday morning but unfortunately, Emily has decided to run practice and isn't there. Spencer is the only one facing the door of the cozy little shop when the bell rings signaling a new customer. The sound makes her look up at the door instinctively. Thinking nothing of it, she returns her attention to Aria who is rambling to Hanna about some 'really awesome new trend' involving neckties worn as skirts. She never will understand Aria's style. The familiarity of the new figure, however, causes her to do a double take. Her eyes go wide as she looks down at her coffee cup, examining it in confusion.

"Uh... Guys... How many of these have I had so far?" She inquires, interrupting Aria's rant. She leans the bottom of the cup in the direction of the girls to indicate what she's referring to.

"More than us but nowhere near your usual," Hanna spits out raising an eyebrow at her friend.

"So there's no way I'm having caffeine hallucinations then?"

"No Spence, you're good," Aria adds afraid her friend might actually be losing it. Spencer thinks she might be too.

"Great, so I've finally cracked and am legitimately crazy then," she says in defeat, leaning back in her chair only to look up and see her hallucination walking toward her.

"Spence, are you ok? What's going on with..." Aria starts but a voice from behind her cuts her off.

"Hey... girls," she says quietly. The two girls with their backs to the door freeze at the sound recognizing a voice they haven't heard in person for nearly four years. Spencer registers stunned looks on the other girl's faces and realizes her brain is not deceiving her.

"Paige?" She squeaks out, receiving a timid nod from the standing brunette. The other two girls turn around and gasp at the sight.

"How…. how is this possible?" Hanna manages to say after a minute as Aria sits next her unable to move. It's Spencer that finally gets up to greet her long-lost friend, first.

"Hey Spence," Paige whispers as tears start to form in her eyes. She's missed these girls too. They are her friends. If this is hard, she can't imagine what seeing Emily is going to do to her. Spencer reaches out timidly to touch Paige's arm lightly, still not sure if this is actually true. When her hand connects with something real, she grabs the arm of the girl and pulls her into a hug. The other two promptly get up to do the same with tears forming in their eyes as well. When they are done with their initial reunion, Paige looks around as if searching for something, or rather someone, before turning to the girls. She's about to open her mouth and ask when Spencer answers her unspoken question.

"She's at the pool. She coaches there now." The soldier smiles, a little happy she didn't have to say her name out loud, yet.

"Seriously Spencer, how the hell do you do that? She didn't even say anything!" Hanna speaks up causing the others to giggle a little. It's the first time Paige had laughed in a long time.

"Are you hungry or anything? Please sit down. Tell us what happened?" Aria says lightly touching Paige's shoulder.

"I'm starving," Paige replies about to say she'll go order.

"One bagel breakfast sandwich and extra-large coffee coming up!" Hanna says turning around to go place the order. Before she gets very far, she turns to Paige again, points to a chair and adds, "You sit." Paige quickly abides grinning that the blonde still knows her order.

"Ok Paige. How are you here right now? We were told you were dead." Aria says once the three of them have sat down.

"Well, surprise… not dead," Paige says pointing to herself, trying to lighten the mood a bit. The girls don't take the comment as mean or sarcastic. The can see the pain in her eyes. It's as if she's telling herself she's not dead as well. When Hanna comes back, food in hand, Paige starts her long and painful story of captivity. By the time she's done, the other girls have gone through several ranges of emotions. They can only sit there in a stunned silence, mouths hanging open. Their poor friend has been through hell and back, several times.

Paige is the one to finally break the long silence. "Guys, I need to see her," she sighs out with a dip of her head. The other girls sigh too knowing this is going to be difficult for both girls.

"I'll take you," Spencer offers, getting up to start heading out the door.

Emily is just finishing up practice when her phone beeps indicating a text.

**Spencer: Are you at the pool? We need to talk.  
Emily: Spence I've told you before, I'm not letting you break up with me. ;-)  
Spencer: Em, this is serious. I'll be at the pool in 10.  
Emily: I'll be in my office.**

Emily stares at her phone for several minutes. That conversation was confusing. What's so serious that Spencer can't wait to tell her later? Ten minutes later, as promised, Spencer walks in her office door, closing it behind her and leaning against it. She looks distraught.

"Spencer? What's wrong?" Emily says, standing up to walk over to her. Spencer stops her by lifting her hand and holding it out palm to Emily.

"She's alive Em," Spencer chokes out. Emily looks at her friend in confusion and walks around to the other side of her desk to lean against the edge.

"What are you talking about Spencer? Who's alive?" Emily says crossing her arms, not registering what was going on. Spencer looks at her earnestly trying to get her to understand. The look on her friend's face finally makes it click. Emily stands up a little.

"Pai...," she starts unable to finish as Spencer begins to nod her head. Emily's eyes go wide. It can't be true.

"Spence, how much coffee have you had today?"

"I'm not having caffeine hallucinations, Emily!" Spencer practically yells it and Emily's face drops.

"She's al...live?" She stutters. Spencer nods again.

"She's been held hostage this entire time Em." Spencer adds. Emily grips the desk sure she's about to fall over.

"Emily, she's alive... And she's here." Emily's head shoots up to look at Spencer.

"Here? Here as in Rosewood?" Spencer shakes her head slightly.

"No Em, here as in, here," she says pointing to the ground. Before she can register what's happening Emily is rushing out the door into the warm muggy air of the pool.

Emily isn't really sure what to expect when she steps out on the deck, so her breath catches in her throat as she registers the sight before her. It's like a dream of a memory. There she is standing with her side to Emily, looking out contemplatively at the still water. She's seen this scene before. Back in high school, before they were together, Paige stood the same way as she is now moments before Emily had asked her when the last time she swam for fun was. The scene was almost the same: her shoulders slightly hunched, hands in her pants pockets but her Army track suit replaces her Rosewood Sharks sweats and she no longer has that ridiculous bob hair cut. Even the sadness written on her face is the same. Emily can't believe what she is seeing. She's dreaming right? Paige hears the steps on the deck that interrupt her thoughts. When she looks up she sees Emily walking towards her, her beautiful Emily. The girl stops walking when she sees Paige look up.

"Paige?" The dark-haired girl asks feebly still not sure if this is real, tears starting to form in her eyes. Paige smiles a little, from hearing the magical sound of her name on Emily's lips again. Her own eyes are already overcome with tears as she dips her head before looking up into Emily's eyes. She nods a small nod before softly saying, "Emily".

It's the head dip that confirms to Emily that this is all really happening right now. That really is Paige standing in front of her. In one fell swoop, all the emotions rush to her head and the pool begins to spin. Paige can sense Emily is not ok and starts to rush over to Emily as fast as she can with her weak leg slightly holding her back. She reaches Emily just as the girl's legs give out, her world going black. Paige catches her and eases her to the ground holding her as tightly as she can.


	6. Chapter 6

I sit on the cool, tiled deck of the pool surrounded by warm and stagnate air and I can hardly breathe. I don't know if it due to the warm, muggy, chlorine-filled air around me or the fact that I'm holding her in my arms. I'm half holding her up, while letting her lean against me. I knew this would be overwhelming for her but I hadn't expected her to pass out like she did. Her current stated worries me, so I plan to sit here as long as it takes, holding her tightly so she's safe. My gaze, when not transfixed on Emily, flirts now and then to a very anxious Spencer single-handedly creating a ditch into the hard deck. She had come out of the office to find Emily and me on the tiled floor. She's extremely concerned and visibly upset because as she paces back and forth on the deck. Her face is furrowed, indicating she's lost in deep thought. I'd like to know what she is thinking in all this. Spencer has always been one to come through with great advice and know-how but I think we might all be out of our league on this one, even the "Great Spencer Hastings". Knowing I'm not going to be able to break her out of her stupor without undergoing extreme consequences, I leave her and her thoughts be. Some things really never change. I decide instead to shift my attention to the person I've spent years thinking about to get myself through the days of captivity. She'll probably never be able to realize how she saved my life and my sanity. I look down at the unconscious girl in my arms. She's so beautiful even when she's as pale as if she'd just seen a ghost. To be fair though, she kind of had. I take in every detail, from the more mature look to her face to how tone her arms are. I didn't think it was possible for her to get more fit then she already was or more even more sexy for that matter. My gaze follows the ripped muscles of her arm down to her hand resting on my lap when something shiny catches my eye: something shiny on her left ring finger. My heart sinks as I admit the facts silently to myself: 'She's engaged. She's moved on and she's engaged'. I instantly find myself getting a jealous of this mystery woman who now has a part of Emily's heart only for it to be replaced even quicker by a deep paining guilt.

"I shouldn't have come," I say out loud, not caring if Spencer ripped my head off for interrupting her thoughts.

"You're joking right?" She softly exclaims, abruptly stopping her pacing fairly close to where I am on the floor. Her face is twisted and her eyes are wide. For a second, I fear for my life, until images of the last three and a half years and my current situation return to the forefront of the brain. Spencer can't do anything remotely close to any of that pain. I shake my head no.

"She's obviously engaged Spencer! She's moved on and I don't blame her. I shouldn't have come back and interrupted her life like this. It's selfish of me. She should be free to live her life in peace," I spill out making sure it's not too loud to wake the girl in my arms but loud enough to stress my point. I hang my head, defeated as tears start to fall from my face.

"You do realize that if you had come back and not told her you were alive, she'd hunt you down and kill you herself when she found out right?" Spencer replies plainly, not a hint of sarcasm in her voice. I know it's true and know that although Spencer killing me might not cause anywhere near the pain I've experienced, Emily could easily destroy me if she felt she had a reason to. I nod my head still unable to stop the unending flow of tears. Spencer acknowledges my acceptance of her statement and returns to her pacing knowing that's all she needed to say. I knew coming here that there was a good chance Emily was involved with someone else. I had told her I wanted her to move on and be happy but I hadn't anticipated the heartbreak that came upon seeing that ring resting on her finger. I immediately make a promise to myself to let her keep her promise to me. I'd be there for her in any way I could, just like I always have, but I'd let her continue to live her life in whatever way she needed, even if it meant never seeing her again. I can only silently pray and wish with every fiber of my being that will not be the case.

I begin to sense movement as the gorgeous, dark-haired woman in my arms starts to return to the real world. She slowly opens her eyes and at the same time brings her left hand up to touch my arm that's wrapped around her shoulder, realizing someone is holding her. My skin under her fingers burns, missing the feel of her touch. She eventually lifts her head to look me in the eyes her head fairly close to mine. I immediately forget my surroundings. I hear nothing but her breathing. I feel nothing but her touch on my skin. I see nothing but her big deep eyes, I never could help getting lost in, looking at me with intermingled joy and sadness. She moves her hand from my arm to lightly cup my cheek, leaning her forehead against mine. I can feel the band of her ring burning into the flesh of my cheek but I force the feeling out of my mind and instead focus on how good it feels to hold her so close again after so long.

"Paige," she barely whispers out with her head still leaning against mine. "You're here. You're a-a-alive." She's barely able to choke out the words as she begins to sob. I shift our weights around so that I can hold her face with both hands and look her in the eyes again.

"Hey, it's ok." I whisper out. "I'm here." She smiles a little but is obviously still overwhelmed. It takes every ounce of will power I have to fight the urge to pull her into me and crash our lips together. Instead, I pull her into a tight hug, holding her as close to me as I possibly can. I settle for kissing the top of her head as we both sit in each other's arms, unable to believe the other is actually there.

I have no idea how long we've been sitting here when I faintly hear a voice calling from the locker room. I don't think much of it, and continue to hold Emily with our foreheads resting against each other's once again.

"Emily?" a voice I don't recognize says, a pain clear in her voice. I realize this doesn't look good when both Emily and I turn to face her. The stranger begins to turn around after giving Spencer a glare, when Emily begins to stand up and call out after her.

"Stephanie, wait. Let me explain!" She yells out as I help her to her feet but the mystery girl is already in the locker room. Emily looks to me and I give her a look that tells her to go and that I'll still be here when she returns. With that, she turns to run after this Stephanie.

I look at Spencer who's standing across from me, completely stunned and obviously overwhelmed with everything that's transpired since the moment I walked through that coffee shop door. She makes eye contact with me before raising her left hand from where it's crossed with her right and slightly wiggles her finger. It clicks. That was Emily's fiancé.


	7. Chapter 7

**-A Note: Hey Guys, sorry about this being all unformated yesterday. I didn't realize it did that. Anywho, It should be better now. **

Stephanie's blood was boiling as she made her way out of the school, the heat of her skin sharply contrasting the brisk, cool air. She isn't crying because she is simply too angry to cry. She instead continues to walk toward her car ignoring the pleas coming from behind her as the fire in her heart continues to consume every memory she has of her and Emily.

"Stephanie! Wait!" Emily screams out as she runs after her fiancé with every ounce of effort she has. When she catches up to the fleeing blonde she grabs her arm in an attempt to get the girl to turn around. "Please, wait."

"Get off me." Stephanie snarls as she shakes Emily's hand off her arm and turns around fully planning on giving the girl a piece of her mind. Seeing Emily's face makes her pause for a second. Her fiancé's face is red and tear stained, the skin around her red watery eyes puffy. Stephanie pauses for a second to contemplate pulling the girl into her arms to comfort her until the image of her fiancé wrapped in the arms of another woman flashed the through her brain. Her face immediately turns back to a scowl at the thought.

"Steph, it's not what it looks like. Please let me explain," the dark-haired girl pleads. Stephanie can feel her blood starting to boil again.

"Oh… so, my fiancé wrapped in the arms of another woman as Spencer Hastings just looked at them without saying anything to stop it was just a figment of my imagination then?" She sneers waiting to see how Emily was going to talk her way out of this one.

"Well ok so that part was what it looked like," Emily replies receiving any angry scoff from the girl in front of her. "I'm not cheating on you Steph," she adds while looking into the other girl's eyes. She can tell Stephanie isn't buying it.

"Do you love her?" Stephanie asks, almost immediately regretting it when Emily sighs out a 'Yes' and tears begin to fall from her eyes. Stephanie almost can't breathe now. "You love her and yet you're going to stand there and try to tell me you aren't cheating on me! This is bullshit!" She yells throwing her hands in the air and making the other girl cringe. "How long Emily? How long have you loved this girl?"

"Nine years," Emily answers softly with her head hanging.

"Ni..nn...ne?" The short-haired girl stutters her anger growing more than she thought possible. She runs her hands through her short, close-cut hair, slightly pulling at the end. "Nine years? Are you fucking kidding me? Why even get together with me? Why agree to marry me? What about Paige huh? Did she know you love someone else?" Stephanie can't believe what she is hearing. 'Who is this person standing in front of me? I don't even know anymore.' Stephanie thinks, staring at the defeated looking girl in front of her. She notices that the sobs are getting heavier. Emily can only shake her head. This is all so hard for her. She loves them both and even though she doesn't know what is going to happen now that she knows her Paige is alive she doesn't want to lose Stephanie. Especially not like this.

"I've only been in love with two people my entire life, Steph," Emily says looking into the other girl's anger filled eyes. "Only you and Pa...pa...ige," she stutters out. Stephanie as growing tired of the games and the lies she thinks she is receiving. 'Does she think I'm an idiot?' She asks to herself. What doesn't make sense, however, is how awful it seems Emily feel. She looks as of her entire world is crumbling in on her. The short-haired girl looks at Emily who is clutching her chest and shaking from sobs. The scene of the two girls embracing each other plays in her head again, except this time she remembers the Army jacket the girl she doesn't know was wearing. Her face falls as she puts the new-found knowledge together with Emily's most recent statement.

"Wait..." Stephanie says causing Emily to look at her. "Are you trying to tell me that, that's Paige?" She points to the pool gaining a small, barely noticeable nod in response. "She's not dead?"

"She's been held in captivity. I just found out. It's the first time I've seen her in four years." Emily can see the other girl's face lightening up as the anger melts away. Stephanie can't help but feel sad for her fiancé now. She immediately closes the gap between them, wrapping her arms around the other girl pulling her close. Emily still has her own arms pulled into her as she is wrapped up in Stephanie's. She returns the hug by resting her head against the other girl's chest. It brings relief, however small, to her to know Stephanie finally understands. Breaking her hold of the other girl, Stephanie takes Emily's head in her hands and looks into her eyes.

"It's going to be ok, Em. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere," she whispers before leaning in to lightly press a kiss on Emily's lips. "You'll get through this and I'll be right here by your side... If you still want me to be." She adds the last part sadly, not wanting to say it, but she needs Emily to know she'll still do anything for her. It pains Stephanie not knowing what is going to happen between them now. She loves Emily and she knows Emily loves her but she also knows that had Paige not been 'dead' all these years, Emily would have a different ring on her finger right now. Stephanie knows she can't force Emily's decision, but for now, she'll hold on to Emily as long as she can.

"I love you Emily," she softly whispers into the dark hair leaning against her chest. "

I love you too," the other girl manages to say between sobs looking up into Stephanie's eyes. "I really do."

"I know," Stephanie says before leaning down and landing another peck. "Can we talk some more later?" She manages to ask receiving a small nod in response. "Ok... But right now I think you have some questions that really need to be answered." She states as she grabs Emily's hand and turns to walk back into the pool with Emily. Before they open the door, Emily stops and pulls her fiancé into another hug.

"Thank you," she whispers into Stephanie's ear. "Thank you for understanding" Stephanie gives her a small squeeze and a long comforting kiss before looking into Emily's sad eyes.

"Of course," is all she manages to say before opening the door to let Emily walk through. 'Here goes...' She thinks to herself. 'Time to meet the one and only Paige McCullers.' With that she walks through the door, on her way to meet Emily's past.


	8. Chapter 8

**-A Note: Hello everybody! I hope you are enjoying the story whether you are new readers or returning. I appreciate all the views, comments, follows and favorites. You all are amazing. Thanks for reading!**

I_ wake up to what has to be the greatest feeling I'd ever have in my life: Emily's bare skin against mine as we lay wrapped up in a tangled mess of sheets and each other's arms. A smile grows on my face as I realize I get to wake up to this sight every morning now that Emily has moved in with me. I can't be happier. I look at the gorgeous girl lying next to me, sleeping peacefully as the sun reflects off her dark hair. 'How'd I get this lucky?' I think to myself. I lean over to kiss her cheek, knowing I'll probably wake her up but I just can't resist. The perfect skin of her cheek tempts me and I am weak against it. I allow my lips to linger on her cheek when I feel her stir. She snuggles into my side making me let out a small chuckle before I kiss her other cheek followed by her forehead then nose and ending with her lips. She lets out a content sigh as she deepens the kiss pulling me impossibly closer. _

_"You know... I think I could get used to this," she says, letting her lips brushing against mine; causing shivers to rush down my spine. I kiss her again, long and hard until I run out of air and immediately start placing kisses to her neck. I hear her release a small sound teetering dangerously between a sigh and a moan. I accept the challenge of causing it to cross over the edge and become a full-fledged moan. I move my lips closer to hear and take a second to whisper out, "Oh yea? Well I can think of something else you can get used to as well." Emily pulls me back and looks into my eyes with a mischievous smile before my lips connect lightly to her collarbone. I smile against the soft skin on her chest when I hear her let out a small moan. I'm already achieving my mission. I continue with my kisses, getting lower with each one, enjoying the small movements and moans each one earns. _

_"Oh my God...Paige," she moans out but to my surprise, I hear her voice mixed with someone else's. I lift my head startled to find I'm not in the bed with Emily, I'm in the Humvee and we've just been hit. The vehicle rocks and falls onto its side tossing me with it. Pain rips through my flesh and my skulls causing my ears to ring louder than church bells on Sunday. "Paige! Run!" The voice screams again. It's my fellow solider. But I can't move. Everything is starting to burn and I feel pain shooting through every inch of my body. I try to move but instead I feel myself getting forcefully pulled from the wreckage. Immediately, everything goes dark as they shove the bag over my head..._

My eyes shoot open as I'm startled awake gasping for air. Instead of the pitch darkness I'm used to and expecting, I'm instead greeted by the soft warm glow of the rising sun filtering through the curtains of my hotel room. My heart rate settles as I force myself to calm my breathing. I forcefully fall back down to the bed, spent from the dream I just awoke from. Staring up at the ceiling, my brain moves from the dream and begins to reprocess the events of the previous day: coffee shop, the girls, Emily, tears, fiancé... Emily. It still doesn't seem real that I finally got to hold her again after all these years. I felt bad at first that her fiancé had seen us in that state on the deck of the pool but after seeing them walk back into the pool hand-in-hand guilt eased some. The small talk the four of us had, only lasted minutes but in that short amount of time I learned that the good-looking, short-haired girl on Emily's arm is named Stephanie Miller and that she had proposed three months ago on the very day I was saved; my birthday. How ironic. Seeing them together gave me mixed emotions. On one hand, I envied Stephanie and wished she didn't exist because then Emily would be free to be mine again. On the other hand though, seeing how safe and loved she was making Emily feel gave me relief. Knowing Emily was (and is) happy and able to love again, makes me happy and hopefully for her future. I hadn't spent much time at all with them before we all agreed that everyone had had enough to process in one day. We all decided to meet again the next day, today, to talk and answer questions. When they were on their way out the door, I had looked up just in time to see Emily turn around and smile at me, clearly happy that I was home again. Thinking about it now, it's all so confusing. What's going to happen? Will Emily stay with her? Will she come back to me? Will she ask me to go away and never see her again? Hopefully, we can figure something out when we talk later.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a knock on the door that quickly turns into a continuous stream of knocks. I get up thankful that I have shorts and a t-shirt already on so I can stop the incessant knocking sooner. I open the door to find an overly-perky blonde girl and a very strangely dressed brunette standing there with what I hope is coffee.

"Hanna... Aria... Please, by all means, do come in," I yawn out, swinging my hand across me in a grand gesture to invite them in. Hanna immediately struts by me followed my Aria who extends one of the cups out to me.

"You still like just plain black coffee right?" She inquires giving me a questioning look.

"Yes, thank you," I reply before turning to follow them back into the hotel room. "Not that I'm not glad to see you two, so bright and early in the morning, but what are you doing here?"

"We... Are taking you shopping," Hanna states holding up one of my Army shirts as if it was the most disgusting thing she's ever seen. My jaw drops as I look over to Aria who is just nodding her head while sipping her coffee.

"Oh no, no, no, no, NO! Not gonna happen," I protest putting my hands up. "Your styles aren't anything like mine! You are NOT getting me in a dress... NO!" I exclaiming, forcefully pointing a finger at Hanna.

"That does not mean we don't know what looks good," Hanna replies adding emphasis to the last syllable by deepening her voice and dragging it out.

"Don't worry we aren't planning on any dresses or skirts," Aria chides in, taking another sip of her coffee. All I could do is roll my eyes and sigh before ending up in the back seat headed to the mall. Two hours later, I find myself in probably the twenty changing room trying on the one-hundredth shirt of the day. I already have plenty of new outfits but the duo won't stop until I have a whole new freaking wardrobe.

"Can we be done now," I whine, calling out from behind the changing room door.

"No!" Both girls exclaim simultaneously making me sigh and hunch my shoulders. This has got to be one of the longest days of my life, and I was thrown in a pitch black cell for three years.

"Finnn...neee," I sneer as I turn my back to the door while simultaneously taking off my shirt. I'm down to a new pair of jeans and my sports bra with my back to the door when Hanna bursts through with another hand full of clothes. I have no time to react or turn around, so she sees my back, complete with whip-induced scars. She lets out a terrified gasp, immediately rushing to me to place a hand on my back. I tense up, immediately aware of the cause of her horror. I didn't want any of them to see me like this. They are only terrifying reminders of how horrific my life has been in the recent past.

"Oh my God Paige! What happened?" She exclaims causing Aria to rush in the room.

"Oh come on! Can't I get some privacy?" I yell perhaps a little too harshly as I turn around to lean against the wall in an attempt to hide my scars. I'm upset and embarrassed as I put on my shirt, looking up to find the scared looks on my friend's faces. "I'm sorry," I say softly. "I shouldn't have yelled. It's not your fault." I sigh out starting to tear even though I'm not really sure why. The two other girls, however, immediately place their arms around me as I try my hardest not to break down.

A few hours later, dressed in my new jeans, white collared button-down shirt and an unbuttoned vest; I start making my way to Emily's house, well my house; our house. She still lives there, whether or not that is with Stephanie, I'm not sure. Walking up to the house gives me a warm feeling of familiarity and home. I missed this place. It doesn't feel right to have to knock, but I do. Emily answers a few moments later and I find that I need to remind myself how to breathe after seeing how beautiful she looks. Her hair is down around her shoulders and she's wearing a simple plaid shirt and jeans but she's breath-taking as always.

"Hi," she says softly looking into my eyes. Her face is lit up like the night sky on the fourth of July her beautiful, trademark smile. 'God those eyes!'

"Hi back," I reply with a smile. She steps to the side and signals for me to come in. Once inside, I turn around to face her, stinking my hands deep in my pockets. "How are you doing? Is Stephanie here?" I look around but find no one else besides stunning woman in front of me.

"No, not yet. She got stuck at work. She'll be here in a little bit," she says earning a smile and a head dip from me. "I'm doing ok by the way. You?" She adds, giving be another award winning smile.

"Right now... I'm pretty great." I reply, smiling again. I can't seem to wipe this stupid thing off my face. I probably look like a complete idiot. We walk to the kitchen and I sit down, preparing to catch up on almost four years of our lives apart. I sit down on one of the stools, while Emily continues to walk to the cabinet behind me for what I assume is to get some glasses for drinks. I don't hear the cabinet though and I can sense that Emily isn't moving, as if she's contemplating something behind my back. 'My back...' I think to myself in the realization that Hanna has a reputation of being really bad at keeping anything to herself. Before I can react however, her hands have connected with the skin of my lower back as she pulls the hem of my shirt up to the edge of my bra, just enough to see a good amount of my scar-laden back. She lets out a very quiet and concerned gasp before lightly tracing a finger along my back. I'm helpless to her touch; temporarily paralyzed from the electricity now shooting through my back. If this was any other time before I left, this would be sexy but considering the circumstances, I'm more embarrassed and ashamed. Finally, I regain feeling in my limbs enough to turn myself around, breaking her touch. I can't look her in the eyes, my face red from the embarrassment I feel. 'Damn you Hanna Marin' I silently curse in my head. Emily must know I feel awful, because she places a hand lightly under my chin causing me to look up into those gorgeous dark eyes of hers. The look on her face is full of sympathy and understanding.

"I'm sorry Paige. I shouldn't have done that... I just wanted to see for myself... Hanna told me and I don't know... It's just..." She stumbles breaking her gaze from mine.

"It's ok Emily. I just got startled." It's not a lie but it's not the full truth of the matter either but Emily doesn't need to know the complete truth about the horrors of my captivity, not yet anyway. She looks up into my eyes to make sure I'm not lying to her before leaning down to me to place a light kiss on my cheek near the edge of my mouth. My heart stops. "As long as you're ok, that's all that matters," she whispers pulling back to face me again. She smiles again before turning around to get the glasses and pour some water into each of them. I attempt to restart my heart because I know that Emily is going to want to talk a lot, since it's been so long, and I'm going to need to be able to breathe in order to assemble coherent sentences.


	9. Chapter 9

The dinner with her fiancé and long lost love is going along surprisingly well as far as Emily is concerned. They seem to be tolerating each other nicely, in fact they are even laughing at each other's jokes. In any other time, place, world or universe; they might have been friends but in this world they stand on either side of Emily waiting for her to make her move; to make her choice between staying with Stephanie or going back to Paige and she has no idea what she is going to do. Stephanie makes her feel safe and loved. She enjoys their time together so much and it doesn't hurt that Stephanie is a really good kisser and damn good in bed. Paige however, is her Paige. She's the one person Emily ever wanted to be with, someone she thought she'd never get over and to be honest she really hadn't. Paige always had and always will have a large piece of her heart. Had she not been 'dead' all those years Emily probably wouldn't be so mentally lost right now. Unfortunately, life isn't so easy or black and white, it's a complicated and confusing labyrinth, that throws you for one hell of a loop whenever it damn well feels like it. If she and Paige hadn't been apart for so long and if she wasn't already engaged to another amazing woman, she might have an easier decision on her hands. However, she IS engaged to another amazing woman and she and Paige HAD been apart for a long time, so long that it felt like they were familiar strangers. The emotions, connection and love were all still there but did they still know each other like they used to? Was Paige willing to get to know her again if they didn't? Emily still had a lot of questions that needed to be answered before she would be able to choose.

When she and Stephanie talked the night before, she was overwhelmed with how patient her fiancé was being. Most people would have flipped out if their fiancé's past love they weren't expecting to lose or weren't hurt by, suddenly waltzed back into their lives. Stephanie really loves her and genuinely wants Emily to be happy and she's not expecting Emily to ban Paige from her life most of all.

_"I want you Em and I love you but I don't want you staying with me because you feel like you have to. I want you, all of you," Stephanie says sitting on the couch with her elbows on her knees, her hands nervously clasped in front of her. She tilts her head up looking at Emily as the dark-haired girl paces back and forth across Stephanie's floor. The pair hasn't moved in together yet. Not because Stephanie or Emily didn't want it but because Emily just didn't want to get rid of Paige's house but it felt weird for Stephanie to move into it for some reason. They decided that was an obstacle they would overcome when the wedding was closer and they had to make a decision once and for all._

_"I know Steph, I know you do," Emily says as she ceases her pacing to kneel in front of her. "I love you too, very much and I can't tell you how much it means to me that you are so understanding and patient during all of this."_

_"I just want you to be happy," Stephanie whispers out as she places a hand gingerly on the other girl's cheek at the same time leaning in to touch their foreheads together. "That's all I've ever wanted."_

At the end of the night, the couple had decided that even though Emily was confused and had no idea what she was going to do yet, she would finally move in with Stephanie so Paige could have her house back. The soldier shouldn't have to live in some apartment when her house was here, it just doesn't seem right. Emily also decided, on her own, that she would stay taken by Stephanie until she could get her heart in order. She didn't want to lead her on but it would be awful to mess up a great thing, especially if she decided that was what she really wanted.

Emily turns her attention back to the other two girls after being lost in thought for the past several minutes. Both girls look so amazing that Emily can help but stare at them, looking back and forth between the two. Stephanie's eyes are a stunning blue-green, the color popping due to the light-blue long sleeve shirt she's wearing. She looks... dapper you could say with her bangs swooped to the side and suspenders completing the outfit by being worn down so they hang around her backside. Every time she looks at Emily, her eyes light up, silently conveying to Emily how much she loves her. Paige's eyes are her normal, deeply alluring brown that makes Emily's head swoon. The looks she keeps giving Emily are also full of love but also of longing, eager to rekindle something, whatever that might be with her. Three and a half year of being dirty, bruised and bloody, and yet the solider was still sexy as hell.

"I think she's checking us out Paige," Stephanie jokes when she sees the dark-haired girl practically in another world.

"Oh Emily Fields, still the day-dreamer I see," Paige adds with a side glance and a smirk as Emily finally snaps back to reality.

"Oh now you're ganging up on me...great," Emily retorts back sarcastically. She's glad things are going well and that things aren't awkward between all of them. Looking at Paige again, she sees a small smile on her lips and is amazed by the strength of soldier. She can't believe that after all she's been through, as evidenced by her scar laden back and obvious limp, that Paige can still manage to smile. She always knew Paige was capable of doing anything but to see it was another story. It's hot… hell it's sexy.

When dinner is over, Emily finds herself fairly bummed that Paige would be leaving soon. There is still a so much more she wants to know, but that would all come in time. The last business of the night is discussing the house, to which Paige graciously protests to but Emily, of course, is having none of that.

"You are not staying in that hotel anymore Paige and I'm not letting you get a dingy little apartment when you're house is right here. Plus, Stephanie and I had been meaning to move in with each other anyways," Emily says earning a look of mixed emotions from Paige. Paige of course is happy she'll be able to move back into her house but the thought of all the reminders of the memories of their love on top of the fact that Emily would be with Stephanie instead of her makes it bittersweet. In the end, Paige relents and it is decided she would move in a couple days later, giving Emily plenty of time to move what she needs to Stephanie's.

"Thank you for coming and having dinner with us. I'm so happy I got to see you," Emily says with a smile after walking Paige to the door. They give each other a heartfelt hug, holding on to each other for as long as they can without it being awkward with the other girl standing there watching them.

"Maybe we can get together just us some time?" Paige asks softly into Emily's ear earning a smile and a whispered "I would love that." After pulling apart from each other's arms, Paige gives the short-haired girl a hand shake and says her final goodbyes for the night before heading out the door. Instead of staying at what was now Paige's house again, the other two decid to go back to Stephanie's for the night. Thankfully, she lives just down the street making it a fast walk home.

"Well I thought that went well," Stephanie comments as she walks into her house behind Emily and closes the door. She had not been sure of how she and Paige would react to each other at first but she is glad she could be there for her fiancé. Before she can think or get a reply to her statement, she finds herself being pushed against the door with Emily's lips connected to hers. The short-haired girl drops her keys and tangles her hands in Emily's dark, smooth hair, pulling the girl into her to deepen the kiss.

Emily is heated from seeing both of her girls dressed up with the added sexual tension between her Paige that started after she lifted her shirt and saw her toned, muscular back. Yes it was covered in scars but she could still see the tight definition of her muscles. It was all she could do not to lean down and start placing soft kisses all up and down the soldier's back. Emily needed a release and Stephanie, being as hot as she was tonight, only added to the heat coursing through her body. Emily moves her hands from Stephanie's waist, sliding them around her back and slowing up her shirt. She moves her lips to the other girl's neck, allowing her to feel the goose bumps now adorning Stephanie's back.

"What's gotten into you," Stephanie breathes out as Emily nibbles on her earlobe.

"Does it matter?" Emily replies giving her a mischievous and incredibly sexy look before returning her lips to the other's neck.

"No it really doesn't," Stephanie moans out gripping her fiancé's back tighter. Getting frustrated with standing up, she grabs Emily's hand and pulls her up the stairs towards her bedroom, her eyes growing darker just by looking at Emily in her more aroused state. Emily follows, watching her fiancé's movements, enthralled by how sexy she looks. As she's being pulled into the bedroom, longing for her fiancé's touch again, she still can't stop thinking of Paige and the way the soft skin of the soldier's back felt against her fingers.


	10. Chapter 10

**-A Note: Hello everybody! Thank you all so much for continuing to read. I know It's been a bit since my last chapter was posted but I've got lots of stuff going on in my life right now so I appreciate the patience. That you guys for all the feedback. I really do love reading every one of them. Please continue to review! Enjoy the next chapter!**

"Emily is moving out of my house today," I say out loud to my lonely hotel room as I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I just woke up and yet all I can think about is Emily and how I've lost her again. I have to say things like this aloud to myself to remind me that they are real. 'Emily is engaged', 'Emily's moved on', 'Emily's moving out of OUR house' and so on. I try to not be hurt by it but I am. She's not at fault, I know that. I would've tried to move on also if the roles were reversed and after meeting Stephanie a couple of nights ago, I can see why Emily loves her. She's a very kind and funny person; and you can see in her eyes when she looks at Emily that she loves the girl deeply, plus she's definitely hot. It's good she caught Emily's eye over others. I can be content knowing that Emily is happy with someone who will care for her and love her for the rest of her life. I guess this means that it's my turn to move on or try to at least.

After several more minutes of wallowing, I get up and get ready to head to the house. I figure I might as well make myself useful and help them move some things. I fully realize I am helping the love of my life move in with some other woman but all I want is for Emily to be happy. I know just being here after being basically dead for years is already tearing her apart and I really don't want to cause her anymore pain. Before heading to the house to help the love of my life move in with her fiancé that not me, I stop at the coffee shop and find Aria, Hanna and Spencer once again in the same spot as always. I order my coffee and head over to their table.

"Do you three ever leave this spot," I say jokingly with a raised eyebrow.

"No," Spencer replies, her voice dripping in heavy sarcasm. "In fact, none of us have jobs and we job sit here all day, every day." God, I missed her sarcasm. I scoff at her comment and try my best to keep my coffee from painfully ejecting out of my nose.

"Hey Paige!" Hanna and Aria say together. "How are you doing?" Aria adds. I'm able to regain my composure and smile at them but only even Hastings sarcasm can only cure so much.

"Oh you know, I'm great considering I've been home for like three days after being locked away for three and a half years to find out that the love of my life is engaged and now moving in with said fiancé." I reply sipping my coffee.

"Wow, can someone say buzzkill?" Hanna remarks, giving me a wink.

"So she's moving in with Steph? Is that so you can have the house?" Aria says rolling her eyes at Hanna. My only reply is a nod.

"Ok should I be happy or sad?" Spencer says looking at me with a somewhat scary grin and a raised eyebrow.

"Spencer!" Hanna and Aria say in unison once again. They still have it after so long.

"What? I want to know if we are congratulating them for finally moving in or if we have to kill Stephanie." She replies with another grin as she throws her hands out to the side, palms up, and shrugs her shoulders.

"Spencer!" The pair exclaim again evoking a spontaneous giggle from me that almost causes me to spew coffee out of my nose...again. I put a hand up to stop them from bickering. I really don't want to have hot liquid scorching the inside of my nose this morning.

"No Spence, it's ok. If she's happy, I'm happy. Besides Stephanie is a nice girl. I'm actually going over there to help them move Em," I say causing the blonde and shortest one to whip their heads around to look at me. Spencer just sips at her coffee and slowly raises an eyebrow. "What?" I say with a curious look.

"You're a better person than me, that's for sure," states Spencer. Maybe I am being too gracious but I don't care. I love Emily and I will still do anything for her even if that thing is moving her in with someone else.

"Guys, you know I'll do anything for her," I voice, looking down at my coffee cup and fiddling with the rim. I get a collective sigh and sad looks in return. I know they are conflicted. They all like Stephanie but they also know I love Emily with all my heart and always will; now and forever. I don't stay longer to talk to them; they all have plans I need to get to the house. When I get there, I find that the door is open, probably so things can be carried out more easily.

"Hello?" I call out looking for Emily or Steph. No one answers so I walk further into the house to see if I can find someone. In the kitchen, I find Emily going through the cabinets wearing jeans and a tank top. Even though it's September it's unseasonably warm so the tank top makes sense. Her beautiful hair is pulled back to keep it out of her face while she works. Her ear buds are in her ears with the music playing just a tad too loud, explaining why she didn't hear me call out. Thank God she didn't. I lean against the door frame and watch her as she goes through the cabinets, placing a few dishes here and there into a box on the counter in front of her, dancing and singing along the entire time. It's the cutest damn thing I've ever seen. She bobs her head to the beat, swaying her hips that mesmerize me with every beat they time out. I let my mind slip for a second as a memory of a similar scene takes over.

_I lean against the doorway, watching my very sexy girlfriend dance along to the Beyoncé song playing loudly from the speakers connected to her iPod, as she unpacks her things into my house. The way she moves her hips, swaying back and forth with a slight roll to them, hypnotizes me and causes an electricity to course through my entire body. Her back is to me so she doesn't see me standing there staring at her ass. I watch as she dips down, really getting into the music and I can't stand it anymore. Want and desire take over and I can no longer just stand there and watch. I walk up behind her, glad the music is loud enough that she can't hear me; I don't want her to stop. I carefully wrap my arms around her waist trying my best not to startle her as I whisper, "Don't stop" into her ear. I quickly settle into a rhythm behind her, trying my best not to throw her off. She glances to her side to see my chin resting on her shoulder and smiles without missing a beat with her hips. We sway together with her back pressed into my front for some time. I close my eyes as she presses her cheek into one of mine with her hand caressing the other. Eventually, my hands can no longer resist the temptation of her sides in the tight-fitting tank top she is wearing and they begin to run my hands up and down her sides. She responses with a slow dip down, running her hands down my thighs and her ass against me on the way back up. The heat I'm experiencing builds exponentially and becomes unbearable, so I turn her around to face me, crashing our lips together in a deep and passionate kiss. She places one hand behind my neck, pulling me closer running her tongue along my bottom lip, asking for entrance, which I gladly give. Her other hand runs up my side under my shirt, as I grip her back with both hands, pulling at the hem of her shirt. Emily gets the hint and pulls apart from me long enough for to silently give me permission to remove her shirt by lifting her hands over her head. I can't get the barrier off fast enough. Before the shirt hits the floor, the buttons of my shirt are unfastened faster than I thought they could, signaling to me that Emily is getting just as worked up and hot as I am. I slide my hands down her back to right below her ass, and lift her onto the counter. She looks into my eyes as I lift her and I can see them growing darker by the second. No sooner is she up on the counter, she starts working at my belt and manages to get my jeans undone quickly, despite the kisses I'm placing to the sweet spot behind her ear. She moans as I move my kisses down her neck and undo her pants as well, slipping them off her while stepping out of mine. She forcefully pulls me back into her by my shoulders and crashes our lips into a deep and sensual kiss. My fingers roam to her back and begin to play with the clasp of her bra. When I've had enough of the fabric between us, I unsnap it with one fluid motion, letting it fall away from her chest to expose…_

"OH MY GOD, PAIGE! You scared the shit outta me!" Emily shouts with her palm on her heart. She must have turned around while I was lost in my memories. "How long have you been standing there?" She adds, taking deep breaths to calm herself.

"Long enough," I reply with a smirk earning and a suggestively raised eyebrow. I make my way into the kitchen to sit down on one of the stools at the island, holding a cup of coffee out to her. "Cappuccino still your favorite?" I add tilting the bottom of the cup in her direction.

"Yeah, thanks," she replies, taking the cup from me, eyeing me in the process. "You were checking me out weren't you," she jokes. I love that we can still banter like this without it being awkward. It feels good; makes me feel at home again.

"It's hard not to when you're flaunting your hotness around like that," I say, circling my pointed finger in a circle for added effect. I use a teasing tone but I can't be more serious. Her face flushes, causing me to dip my head and smile at how adorable it is when she blushes. Seeing my reaction, see clears her throat before speaking again.

"What are you doing here anyways?" She says taking a sip from her coffee.

"I figured I could make myself useful and give you some help, if you need it that is," I reply. I really just want to spend time with Emily and if helping her pack is the way to do it, then so be it.

"Aw you didn't have to do that, but I'm glad you're here. You can help me go through things. I don't want to take anything you might need or want," she offers, leaning on the counter with her elbows.

"Well, I have furniture and dishes, so I'm pretty much good to go but sure I'll help with anything you need."

We start going through the house, putting knick-knacks and pictures into boxes as well as her clothes. She leaves some of my old shirts that she had taken from my things before donating the rest. She must have worn them a lot because they smell like her. She decides to leave most of the contents of the house to me since a lot of it, such as the furniture, was mine to begin with.

We spend the entirety of the process filling each other in on what has happened to us in the past few years. I withhold a lot of the gory details though because I don't want her feeling sorry for me. She seems happy talking about her life and things seem to be going very well for her which I'm glad to hear. She's happy and as far as I'm concerned, that's all that matters. We spend a few hours together packing up and talking, until Stephanie shows up and helps carry things to the car. A twinge of sadness, rises in me at the sight of the boxes being carried to the car but it helps to know, they only live down the street. I might be able to see Emily more often then I originally thought.

"Thanks for helping me out today," Emily says standing by the doorway with hands in her pockets.

"Any time," I smile back to her. She crosses the distance between us and pulls me into another tight lingering hug, similar to the one she gave me after our dinner the other night. After handing me the keys, she walks out the door and into the car with Stephanie, leaving me alone in the entrance way. The house already feels so empty without her.

I head out to go back to the hotel but I don't stay long. My two duffels, the original from the Army and the new one I had to buy after going shopping with the girls, are not too heavy which I'm thankfully for since I'll be walking back to the house. I check out of the hotel and begin my walk getting to the house about ten minutes later. I let myself in the house and throw my duffels on the floor, my shoulders needing a break from the walk. I sigh against the silence, hating it and welcoming it at the same time. At least the silence here is familiar, unlike the pseudo silence of the hotel room. Leaving my duffels by the door, I wander around the first floor, reacquainting myself with house. I pause as I pass the window overlooking the pool.

_"I was drunk that night and I got lost, only I didn't really get lost. I was looking for something... I was looking for somebody... And I came here," the beautiful girl standing in front of me confesses making me sigh out and dip my head. My breath catches in my throat in the realization that she's talking about me. I've been waiting for this moment for so long and here it is. My heart stops as she places her hand on the side of my neck. "Don't look away," she says softly and sweetly. I look up into her eyes for just a moment before she closes the gap between us and into a very passionate kiss. It's the best night of my life so far._

I smile to myself as the memory plays in my head. That kiss, the moment we got together, was like a scene out of a movie. It couldn't have been more perfect. I continue my lap around the house until I eventually find my office. The desk and most everything else, are still pretty much exactly how I left it. Walking around to the other side of the desk, I reach to open the top drawer and find it's been cleaned out and organized. I reach into the back knowing I probably won't find it and I don't. Emily must have found the ring like I predicted. Wondering to myself what she did with it, I head back to the front door to grab my duffels and carry them upstairs. Pictures of Emily and me at various points in our relationship still grace the wall leading up the stairs. It makes me smile knowing she kept them up the whole time despite being in a relationship with someone else. I walk into my room and set down the duffels deciding I'll unpack them later, it's been a busy day and I'm ready to relax and unwind. I'm thankful to know that Emily had decided to live in the other room after my attack, not wanting to relive the memories in this room every day because it eases my mind to know she and Stephanie weren't in here 'together'. My room has barely changed as well, as if she had closed the door and locked it away in order to preserve whatever memories of us she had left. My eyes scan the room and I relax into the familiarity. I walk over to the dresser near the bed to look at the pictures that are still there when I notice something resting on the top that I know I definitely did not leave there. I place my hand carefully on the small charred and twisted metal pieces, the memory of them being ripped off my neck flashing through my brain. My hand notices that one of them is raised off the desk as if something is under it. I slowly grab the end of the chain my tags are on and lift them off the table, taking note of the added weight. I drop chain into my other hand before clenching them tight as tears well in my eyes. I drop to my knees and lean against the desk, unable to keep myself upright any longer. I can feel the rough edges of the tags and the sharp points of the diamond cutting into the flesh of my tightly clenched hand. After a few moments, I'm finally able to open my hand to look once again at the faded metal next to the silver diamond ring that had been taken from my desk.

I don't leave the house for a few days desperately needing the rest and time to clear my mind. I slept pretty well on those days but for some reason I wake up today very early, close to four A.M. I'm exhausted but I know I can't go back to sleep. Deciding instead that I need some exercise, I grab my old swimming gear and head to the pool. The pool used to be open in the mornings around five to the public with morning practice beginning at six thirty. I'm hoping this is still the case. I figure Emily won't be there until closer to practice and I'll be long gone by then. I've avoided her since finding the tags and the ring, not sure if I'll be able handle seeing her yet without breaking down.

I'm surprised my swimsuit still fits me when I put it on, since it's been so long since I wore it last. When I walk onto the deck, I find I'm the only one at the pool and it makes me happy to know I get it all to myself. The quiet, stillness of the large open room is just what I need.

I dive into the pool, feeling the cool water rush past my streamlined body. The water rushes past my ears, essentially trapping my thoughts in my head to be sorted through and properly processed. Immediately my legs move up and down together, in a wave-like motion, my body following in line, before I surface and begin my stroke. I'm thrilled to find that I still got it. My endurance and speed maybe shot to all hell but my technique is still spot on; like riding a bike. I slide my hand into the water in front of me at an angle, minimizing the splash as I bring my other hand out of the water, my elbow to the ceiling, hand dangling down. My entire body rotates effortlessly as I pull my front arm underneath me replacing it with my other hand to rotate to the other side. I had forgotten how peaceful this sport is. I settle into an easy rhythm, taking three strokes for every breath I take. I hear only the muffled sound of my splashes induced by my kicks. I focus on my arms feeling the pull of the water on my hand and forearm as I move my hands underneath me. I don't move myself through the water, I move the water around me; I control it. It's the one thing I can control right now.

I've swam several yards but I feel like I can go on forever to make up all the time I missed not being in the water. I come up to the wall about to pull myself into a flip turn when I feel a tap on my head. Without thinking, my self-defense skills kick in. In one fluid motion, I grab the hand and pike my body down to come to a sudden stop, plant my feet on the bottom and pull the stranger over my head and into the water. Immediately, a gasp of horror releases from my throat as I turn around to see a figure soaking wet from her jet black hair to her sneakers. All Emily can do is look at me startled and dripping.

"Emily, shit... I'm so sorry. You scared me... And well... I got startled and..." I begin before she cuts me off.

"Note to self, never sneak up on a soldier," she laughs to herself. Phew, she's not angry. I take a breath as I see her move to the edge of the pool. Instead of getting out, she takes off her Rosewood Sharks coach's jacket along with her tennis shoes and socks before turning back to me.

"It looks like you've still got it McCullers," she says to me. "Want to race? For old time's sake?" She looks at me with those big brown eyes and despite my better judgment, I agree. I'm about to get annihilated. We push off the side of the wall together and it doesn't take long for her to pull ahead of me even with the added hindrance of her jeans. She turns and starts heading back in the opposite direction. I cheat and turn around after she passes me, putting myself closer to her heels. We are about half way down the pool, when I'm able to catch her enough to grab her ankle and lank her back propelling myself in front of her. I hear her yell 'Hey!' but I put my head down and dig deeper trying to distance myself from her in order to win. I fail and feel her grab my leg instead. When I feel her pull on my leg, I stop her from propelling herself in front of me by curling into a ball, suspended by the water, causing her to crash into me. We begin to wrestle with each other, flipping end over end in the water in an attempt to keep the other under. We surface a few minutes later, gasping for breath, still in each other's arms with our faces dangerously close as we laugh at what just happened. Our laughter dies quickly when we lock eyes and realize the proximity to each other. The electricity between us is intense and almost unbearable. I want so badly to kiss her but I cannot run the risk of her hating me for trying to get between her and Stephanie. But, before I can break her gaze to avoid doing something I'll regret, I feel her sweet soft lips on mine and can't help but pull her even closer to deepen the kiss as I silently pray I'm not just dreaming.


	11. Chapter 11

Emily ceases to be able breathe the second her lips touch Paige's for the first time in four years. She wasn't planning on kissing Paige; she wanted to be faithful to Stephanie, but her curiosity and the tension between them took over. Paige's lips are even sweeter then she remembers as she lets herself get lost in the other's embrace. Emily had almost forgotten how amazing of a kisser Paige is. The soldier could somehow always manage to pour every ounce of love and compassion that she has in just one kiss. Emily's emotions and her body go crazy when Paige pulls her closer not only returning the kiss but deepening it, sending electric pulses down Emily's spine. The brunette's kiss is eager and hungry, wanting as much of Emily as she can possibly get with one kiss. If Emily had any doubt to whether or not Paige still loved her, it was now melting away with each small movement of Paige's lips against hers as well as the grip the brunette had on her back as they stood in the water. The soldier was holding on to Emily as though the swim coach would evaporate into thin air if she loosened her grip at all. This moment is all Paige had dreamed about while stuck in the dark but even more perfect. The connection between the pair in this moment is magnetic and beautiful, reminding them of the love they once had together. Reluctantly, they break the kiss as the need for oxygen becomes too strong to ignore any longer. They rest their heads together not wanting to move too far apart. The moment is perfect.

"I love you Emily," Paige whispers, her words full of compassion. She's been waiting to say those words since the day she got back. Those four words have been on the tip of her tongue, longing to be able to leave her mouth every time she saw the beautiful girl now in her arms. With their faces inches apart and their bodies pressed tightly together, there could not be a more perfect time to express to Emily how much she still loves her. But, Emily can't say anything in return. She stands there frozen in Paige's words, happy but yet terrified to hear them. Of course she loves Paige, she'll never stop loving Paige, but can she just give Stephanie up? Can she just break her heart like that? Why is she so conflicted? She's frustrated she can't make up her mind even though a part of her heart seems to be tugging her in a certain direction.

"Paige... I... I ca...n't..." She manages to choke out. Her heart hurts. All the love she's every felt for the girl standing in front of her, had suddenly come rushing back. It's overwhelming especially with the added feelings for her current fiancé. She takes a step back after feeling Paige's arms release her back suddenly and looks at the brunette standing before her with a look of confusion and hurt forming on the girl's face.

"I don't understand," the soldier mutters her shoulders dropping. "If you don't love me back... If you don't feel this connection between us that's always been there, then why did you just kiss me?" Paige can't believe what she's hearing. How could Emily just deny what just happened between them? Did she not feel what Paige just felt? To Paige, the kiss they just shared was almost as magical as the kiss that finally got them together all those years ago on the edge of another pool. Everything she remembered and dreamed of to keep herself alive while being beaten and bruised, was wrapped up in one simple but beautiful and passionate kiss. Yet now, Paige felt her heart breaking again as she stared at the speechless woman.

"I don't know... I just, I couldn't help it, I guess... I'm just so confused," Emily answers, trying to keep her voice calm and collected.

"What's there to be confused about Emily?" Paige challenges raising her voice a little. She extends her arms to her side under the water and hunches her shoulders forward, visibly asking for an answer. She feels herself beginning to get angry. She didn't push Emily, in fact she had told herself she'd let Emily live her life with Stephanie but Emily had kissed her. If she didn't love her or want to be with her then why taunt her with a kiss? When she doesn't get an answer, Paige turns around and pulls herself out of the pool.

"Paige... Wait..." Emily pleads, hoping the girl will turn around. She wasn't expecting this to happen. Paige slowly turns around on her heels and looks at Emily in the water below her.

"No, Emily. I'm not doing this. It's not that hard of a decision, at least it doesn't have to be. Either you love her more or you love me more... You want her or me... Not both." Paige starts to turn around but stops to look at Emily again. "You know how I feel Em... I feel stronger for you than when I left. You kept me alive over there," she says starting to get choked up, a lump forming in her throat. The statement makes Emily look up, not sure what the soldier means. She opens her mouth to say something, when Paige speaks up again.

"The thought of you... the memories of us... The hope that maybe, just maybe we'd have a moment like we just did... It kept me alive... Kept me sane. It made me want to fight to stay alive despite waking up EVERY morning wishing I was dead." The brunette's voice is breaking and she could feel wetness forming in her eyes. All Emily can do is stand in the water and watch her former soldier beginning to break down. She wants to comfort and hold her, but Emily knows it might only make things worse. So she stands there motionless, looking into Paige's now wet eyes.

"I wanted to marry you; spend the rest of our lives together! I understand you moved on, I get that. I wanted that for you. I want you to be happy. When I found out you were engaged, I told myself I'd let you live your new life; I wouldn't interfere. But now you go and do this?" The tears are freely flowing down her face now. She hates each of them, every tear signaling her hurt and weakness for Emily. "Why tease me like that, Emily? Why give me false hope?" She stands there several moments staring at Emily, silently challenging her to answer. When Emily doesn't so much as move, Paige turns around, picks up her stuff and heads for the door, leaving Emily alone in the water.

Emily stands in the water for several minutes confounded at what she just heard. She had been all that for Paige? She couldn't even imagine what that was like to only have your thoughts to get you through every day as they complied into years. She suddenly feels small and guilty for thinking her decisions, her struggles, were difficult when in comparison to Paige's, they are nothing. Yet, she still can't make up her mind. Why can't her heart just make up its mind? The feeling of being cold and wet eventually enters into her mind, reminding her she has to coach practice in a half hour.

"Shit, I didn't bring extra clothes," she mutters to herself holding her arms out and shaking them before pulling herself out of the pool. Emily knows she doesn't have time to run home herself. She'll have to call someone to bring her clothes. Grabbing a towel and her phone, she sits on the bench and starts scrolling through her phone: Hanna... No, too chatty; Aria... No, she'd get the strangest outfit in her closet; Steph... Definitely not; ah Spencer...  
She dials the phone hoping Spencer picks up even though it's early.

"Can I help you?" Spencer gripes into the phone with a yawn. 'Well she hasn't had her coffee this morning... Great,' Emily thinks to herself, pinching the bridge of her nose. Just what she needed to add to this 'fantastic' morning: a grumpy Spencer.

"Spence, I'm sorry to disturb you before your morning coffee, but I need your help."

"Ok... What do you need?" Spencer yawns out again, the sound of the coffee pot whirring in the background.

"I need a change of clothes... I… umm… fell in the pool," she replies, eliciting an amused scoff followed by giggling.

"I don't even know if I want to ask how you managed that," the girl on the other end of the phone manages to say between giggles. "But you have certainly made my morning. I think you left some of your clothes here the other day. Be there in like fifteen."

The two girls hang up the phone so Spencer can grab what she needs and come to Emily's rescue. The coach hangs her head, placing it in her hands and wonders how she managed to screw all this up. Why was it so difficult for her to just choose? Emily's head is whirring with thoughts of Paige as they battle with thoughts of Stephanie. She just wants her mind to shut up because the sheer amount of thought in her mind is beginning to make her head pound. She sits in silence feeling guilty about what just happened until Spencer finally walks through the door.

"So I've been picturing this in my head the entire way over here...but this," Spencer says pointing a circling finger at Emily. "...is even better."

"Shut up Spencer," Emily spats with anger behind her words, giving the other girl an intense glare. She basically rips her clothes out of the other girl's hands causing Spencer to throw both of them in the air defensively as Emily stomps off to her office.

"Whoa there cranky pants, I was just kidding," Spencer remarks before following her friend. "Emily, seriously what happened?" She gives the coach a concerned look as she enters Emily's office and closes the door so the girl can change. The statement earns a short angry laugh and eye roll.

"I thought you weren't going to ask?" the swimmer scoffs, pulling her dry pair of pants on.

"I wasn't, but I know something is wrong and I know you need to talk about it, so spill," Spencer says sitting in the chair across from Emily's desk, crossing her arms. Pulling on her new shirt, Emily sits in the chair next to Spencer and sighs.

"Spence... I… I kissed Paige," Emily sighs out returning her head to her hands not believing she's saying it out loud. She doesn't see it, but Spencer turns to face her fully with her mouth hanging open.

"I'm sorry, what?" The wide-eyed girl asks not one-hundred percent sure she heard correctly. Emily looks up at her friend seeing the shock on her face.

"I kissed Paige," she repeats, this time plainly earning a gasp from the other. Emily doesn't know whether it's out of disgust, delight or both.

"Wait...Didn't you like _just_ move in with your _fiancé_?" Spencer says adding extra emphasis on the last word. "Like a week ago? And isn't said fiancé not Paige? Also, that doesn't explain how you ended up in the pool fully clothed." Spencer looks into her friend's to eyes see the same hurt and confusion she's been seeing ever since Paige returned. She hates seeing her friend like this. Her world has been turned upside down twice now in her short lifetime; something she doesn't deserve, but neither does Paige. Her life had been a literal hell for over three years only to come back to find the woman she loves more than anything taken by someone else. Spencer feels for Paige. She wishes Emily would make up her mind too; neither Stephanie nor Paige deserve the limbo they are being put through. But, Spencer also realizes that the girl sitting in front of her is hurting as well and doesn't know what to do.

"I snuck up on her when she was swimming and she ninja'd me into the water," Emily says with embarrassment starting to show on her face. Looking back, she realizes how stupid it was to sneak up on a combat trained solider. Looking up, she sees Spencer trying her damnedest not to bust out laughing.

"Oh my God, Spencer!" she exclaims.

"Sorry, sorry," the laughing girl replies, shaking her hands in front of her and straightening her face. "Please continue."

"Well... So we raced and she fucking cheated, then when I caught her again we ended up horsing around and then I just... I kissed her," she says defeated, slouching forward. "Then she said I love you and I said I can't. Which is why she isn't here right now."

"You said 'I can't'? Really?" Spencer replies with a raised eyebrow. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know..."

"Well you should probably figure that out before you lose one or even both of them for good," Spencer says leaning forward in her chair to hold Emily's hand. "Just follow your heart ok?" Emily nods, wishing with all her heart that it was really was just that easy.


	12. Chapter 12

I haven't seen or talked to Emily or even the other girls for two weeks. I've been ignoring them and trying to get my life in order; my life without Emily. Being rejected by Emily devastated me. I didn't know it was possible for my heart to hurt that much but I felt as though it was literally being ripped apart piece by piece. I realized the moment I was walking off the pool deck that I needed to distance myself from Emily for even just a short amount of time in order to clear my head and realize the two of us would not have a future together.

I spent the first couple of days after the kiss just ignoring every one's attempts at communication before I just flat out turned my phone off and it hasn't been back on since. I don't even know if anyone's been over to my house, because after a week, I decided to take a trip to Philadelphia for a little while. I needed to get out of Rosewood; I needed to get away from Emily. Philly isn't far from Rosewood, but with my phone turned off and no one knowing I had left, it felt like I was worlds away. I've been here for almost a week; sightseeing, relaxing and doing my best to get over Emily. Clearing years of love out of your mind and heart is not an easy task. I know it won't happen in three weeks, I probably won't ever get over her, but I can sure as damn well try. The image of us together in the water, plays over and over in my head. That kiss was everything I had ever dreamed off. Holding Emily like that, her hands behind my neck with mine on the small of her back, felt more like home then I remembered. I felt comfortable, safe and happy in her arms, her lips against mine, only to be ripped from my contentment moments later. I had been fine coming home, even seeing her engaged was ok since I knew she was happy and living her life. But now, my heart is broken. One kiss had caused my heart to swell and hope again for a future with her, only for her to take it away again in one fell swoop. It was in that moment, staring down at her standing in the water; my heart breaking, that I realized it was my turn to move on.

I took the bus to Philadelphia and checked into a decent hotel near the art museum, close to the river. So far I've spent a lot of time walking and thinking. I visited many of the historical sites, gardens and museums barely remembering anything I saw. My head has been a complete haze of memories and thoughts of Emily, the distractions not helping at all. The evening, I find myself sitting in the spectator stands on the bank of the Schuylkill River. I'm alone since there isn't a rowing event today so I sit and watch the ducks and the occasional practicing rower float by. I can tell the rowers have a complete connection between themselves, the boat and the water. They make it look easy. Seeing their ease and power against the water, reminds me of swimming and how much the water soothes me. Maybe that's how I subconsciously ended up by the river. Unfortunately though, the thought of swimming is tied to Emily in so many ways. I can only hope I can get myself past the association so I can return to the water someday.

I don't know how long I've been sitting here staring at the water. Afternoon is slowly fading into evening and I am enjoying the clearness the rushing sound of the river brings to my head. For the first time, in a long time, I am able to empty my head and just be. No rushing thoughts, no memories, no Emily. I feel free.

"Hello?" A voice off to my right says. It pulls me from my empty state, dragging me back to reality again. I shake my head to realign my senses before glancing over and seeing a woman probably about my age standing there timidly holding a camera.

"Uhh... Hi," I reply somewhat awkwardly, taking in the stranger. She stands confidently but carefully, keeping her distant from me until she can determine if I'm a homicidal freak or not. I give her a small smile in an attempt to show her I'm not going to hurt her and that I welcome her presence. The whole scene reminds me of a person approaching a stray dog. She gives me a smile back that lights up her face. It's sweet and kind, giving off a very friendly disposition. Her clothing is fairly normal: jeans and a long sleeve thermal worn under a black lightweight jacket. Her jacket is unzipped, giving me just a small glimpse of how her shirt hugs her slight curve. Her hair is a golden blonde that is pulled back into a tie to keep it out of her eyes, but I notice a slight wave to the small pieces that were too stubborn to fit in the tie. She's very pretty.

"Hi... Um... I'm Alex," the blonde says holding out a hand. I extend mine to meet hers and shake it, feeling a slight chill go down my arm. I suddenly feel a little nervous.

"Paige," I reply letting go of her hand. "What can I do for you, Alex?" I ask, looking into her dark green eyes. I can tell she's a bit on edge as if she's not used to talking to random strangers she meets on the side of the river... Imagine that.

"Well, I'm a photographer with the 'Times'... I just started there actually... And well I'm on this assignment about 'taking in nature' or something..." She is rambling. It is actually pretty cute and adorable. I find my smile growing wider as she continues to ramble on. "But anyways, I saw you here looking so contemplative and relaxed and I took a few pictures and I was wondering if I could get your permission to use them," the photographer finally spits out, biting her lip as an added plea. It's hard to resist. Dipping my head, I smile and look back up at her, a slight blush beginning to creep into my cheeks. Weird...

"Yeah sure. No problem," I say looking up at her. Her smile grows and she gives a little hop, her feet not leaving the ground, at the same time she just slightly twists her shoulders to the side. It's fucking adorable.

"Great. Thanks so much," she says looking me in the eyes. I feel something I didn't think I'd feel ever again for anyone besides Emily: butterflies. "Well um... Here's my card," she says reaching a small card out to me. "The website for the paper is on there... Your pictures will probably be up some time this weekend."

"Cool. I, uhh, look forward to seeing them," I reply awkwardly, taking the card from her. There's a brief moment of nervous silence between us before she puts her hand up briefly, signaling good bye.

"Ok, well…have a good evening then Paige," she smiles again before turning and walking away. My eyes follow her as she leaves, noticing her glance back at me over her shoulder as she walks up the bleacher steps. I can feel my face getting red as I look back out towards the water.

"What was that?" I say aloud to myself, my eyes wide, still smiling. I look down at the small white card in my hands. "Alexandra Parson," I read out loud, before looking up at the river again, flicking the card onto the palm of my free hand. I can't seem to wipe the smile off my face as the image of her cute, nervous smile, replaces Emily's even if it's just for a few moments.

I wake up the next day around late morning, fairly refreshed and in a good mood. The small distraction provided by the cute photographer helped me more then I originally thought. Sitting up in the bed, I do my best to keep my mind on the new face and not replace it with Emily's. Thankfully, the small card on the bedside table of my hotel room, catches my eye. I pick it up and start turning it over in my hands nervously, not sure if I should go in the direction my brain is heading.

"Oh what the hell..." I say leaning over and grabbing the hotel phone. I dial the number on the card and feel my heart race faster and faster with each ring.

"Philadelphia Times, Alex speaking," answers the voice on the other end. Her voice is cheerful and inviting, causing me to smile.

"Yeah…hi…Alex? This is Paige, the girl from the river yesterday," I say into the receiver, my heart beginning to race a little. I was surprised at the effect that this new girl was having on me.

"Oh, Hey! I was just editing your photos. You look gre... THEY, they look great." She says her voice cracking when she corrects her statement making me let out a small laugh. I was glad we were on the phone because I could feel my cheeks getting flush. "Well, anyway... What's up?" She adds turning the conversation back over to me. I run a hand through my hair and close my eyes in an effort to shield myself against embarrassment should she not like my proposal.

"So... Ummm, I was thinking... This is kinda out of the blue, seeing I just met you less than twenty-four hours ago and it was for like two seconds, but I could really use some distraction and was wondering if maybe you'd like to help me out and maybe keep me company by hanging out with me today... If you're not busy that is." I peer open one eye as if I'm a kid who is trying to peek at a surprise they are being given. There's a pause on the other end before the sweet new voice speaks again.

"That actually sounds like fun," she replies her voice giving away and un-seeable smile. "I have to technically work, but... You can come with. I'm just going to walk around and take pictures, it would be nice to have the company."

"Sounds like a plan. Where should I meet you?" I say, grinning to myself happy that I'll have the distraction from Emily today.

"If you give me your address, I'll just come to you," she answers, wasting no time. I give her where I'm staying before hanging up to hurry and get ready. Twenty minutes later, the doors to the elevator open to the lobby and I get out to find Alex already there, her leather camera bag slung over her shoulder. She's standing with her chin tilted towards the intricate ceiling of the hotel. I walk up to her with my hands in my coat pockets as she lifts her camera to her eye. When I reach her, she has taken a picture but only moves her camera to the side of her face, not bringing it down. I lean over her shoulder, slightly and say "Hey, there," causing her to turn around to look at me. "What's so interesting up there?" I tease with a wink before looking up at the ceiling myself.

"Oh you know, pretty stuff. Makes a good picture anyway." She shrugs her shoulders and smirks at me. "Ready to go?" She asks grabbing onto the strap of her bag that's running across her chest while rocking up onto her toes and back to her heels. She looks at me questioningly with those big green eyes and bites her lip and I can feel the butterflies in my stomach pick up. Is it even possible for someone to be adorable and sexy at the same time? Yes it is, I know someone else... No I will not think about the dark-haired girl that still haunts my dreams.

"Yup. So where are we going?" I question, turning on my heels to follow her out the door.

"Well I'm still working on this 'communing with nature' piece, so I think it feels like a pretty good day to take a stroll in the park," Alex answers, turning her head to glance at me. She continues to look at me, while turning her body, to take a few steps backward looking into my eyes the whole time. "Plus, it helps I have some good looking company," she flirts with a wink before completing the turn with her body and continuing to walk. The flirting causes me to pause for a minute, because it catches me off guard. I dip my head, shake off the surprise and jog up to catch her.

We spend the majority of the afternoon walking around the park, talking, taking pictures and people watching. I'm really have fun. It's been a long time since I've had a day like this.

"So, Paige McCullers, tell me what do you do for a living?" Alex inquires plopping down on the grass with the Popsicle she just bought from a guy with a cart. She looks up at me and pats the grass next to her signaling me to sit.

"Well," I begin, sitting down next to her. "Nothing at the moment. I just got back from active duty, a couple weeks ago."

"Oh…a solider girl..." She says leaning in to nudge my shoulder with hers. I let out a small breathy laugh and dip my head with a smirk when I hear the shutter of her camera click.

"Hey!" I exclaim, a little flirty. I don't care if she takes my picture but I figured it wouldn't hurt to play a little.

"I have been waiting all day to get this shot!" She exclaims, throwing a fist in the air. She looks at the screen on her camera, causing a satisfied grin to creep onto her face. "That little head dip you do, has got to be one of the cutest but also hottest, thing I've ever seen." The statement makes me blush.

As the sun begins to sets, several pictures and shoulder nudges later, we find ourselves back in the lobby of my hotel.

"I had a great time today," I say, turning around to look into her deep green eyes.

"Me too. I'm really happy you called me," she grins confidently. "I hope I can see you again sometime. I have an out of town assignment but maybe when I get back we can get together again?"

"I'd really like that," I say with a bashful grin and nod. I really did have a great time and being with this girl standing in front of me, helps me forget about the pain in my heart that longs for Emily.

"Awesome," she says looking down. Alex takes a slow step forward closing the space between us before looking into my eyes. She leans in and gives me a short yet sweet kiss on the lips before pulling back and looking into my eyes one more time.

"Good night Soldier Girl. See you around."

"Night," I say with a smile on my face. Today has been a successful day.

The next day, I decide I'm strong enough to make my way back to Rosewood. I find a used car dealership and get a good deal on an older Ford pickup. It's still in really good shape and it's drivable, which of course is what really matters. I start making my way down the highway, singing along to the radio, still fairly blissful from my time with Alex. It's then that I realize, that sitting on the bedside table in the hotel room I checked out of an hour ago, is the little, white card with the green-eyed girl's number on it. And, me being the genius I am, had left my turned-off cellphone in Rosewood, not knowing the new number by heart.

"Shit"


	13. Chapter 13

**-A Note: Thanks so much for all the comments, views and favorites. I love reading all the comments. You guys are great. Hope you all enjoy this next chapter. **

I have absolutely no idea why or how Spencer Hastings is in my kitchen right now. I got back from my week in Philadelphia a couple hours ago, somewhere around three A.M. (I had stopped several times just to enjoy scenery) and immediately went to attempting to look up a phone number, email or smoke signal even; something for me to be able to reach Alex again. I dumped my bag by the door and sat down at the kitchen island with my laptop. It was proving difficult to find her. Since she was new to the paper, she didn't have an employee profile on the website yet. I had also tried just googling her name to no avail. Around six, I got up from the stool, made coffee and got some cereal. I'm surfing the internet, waiting until eight o'clock so that I can call the paper and eating cereal, when I notice movement entering from the kitchen door in front of me to the right. I go still, not to draw attention to myself; my spoon half way between the bowl and my mouth. I scrunch my eyebrows and slightly tip my head in confusion. Am I in the wrong house? No, all my stuff is here. It's definitely mine. What's Spencer doing here? How did she get in? How long has she been here? She walks over to the coffee pot, not seeing me, and pours herself a cup not realizing it has 'magically' made itself. Her hair is slightly ruffled from sleep as she leans with one hand on the counter with her back to me while taking a sip of coffee.

"Spencer, as flattered as I am to see you in my kitchen in that oversized shirt you call pajamas, what are you doing here?" I say alerting her to my presence causing her to jump and spill some of her coffee.

"Paige! Where the hell have you been?" She yells spinning around quickly to look at me, slamming her fist on the table. I don't even flinch as a smirk draws itself across my face.

"Better question... How'd you get in my house?" I retort looking her in eyes while taking a bite of my cereal. Her answer is a raised eyebrow that might as well have said 'are you fucking joking?' Then I remember:

_"Spencer, no look, do it like this," I say carefully inserting the bobby pin into the lock. A second later, Spencer and I hear a click and the door handle easily turns._  
_  
"You make it look so easy!" She huffs clearly frustrated._

"Ok here," I say squatting behind her and guiding her hands. The door again easily opens.

"Ok, I think I got it," she says confidently. She squares her shoulders and shakes her head as if she's in athlete preparing for a race. She inserts the bobby pin into the lock and a couple seconds later, we hear a click. She looks at me with a grin, stands up and without taking her eyes off me, raises an eyebrow, turns the handle and pushes the door open in triumph.

"Excellent job," I say patting her on the shoulder and walking past her into the room.  
  
"I should have never taught you how to pick a lock," I say, slowly shaking my head side to side. "No one is safe." I grin at her with a small chuckle. The girl's face lightens when she sees me smile. Spencer grabs her coffee, refills the mug and sits down next to me.

"You look happy," she comments, looking up at me from her coffee cup. "It's nice to see again." The girl pauses to take a sip of coffee. Putting her coffee cup down, she cups it with both hands. The look on her face is contemplative as if she's wondering if she should tell me something. "Em, told me what happened. You seem ok though."

"Well it was hard for several days but I had a good experience in Philadelphia and am doing better now." The thought of my day with Alex causes me to dip my head and smile. I really hope I can get in contact with her again. Being with her allowed me to be happy for more than just a few moments, I was able to forget about everything that happened to me and everything with Emily and just live. There was just something about her. I hadn't had a fully happy day from beginning to end like I did with Alex since before I left on my deployment. I was amazing to feel like that once again.

"I'm glad," Spencer says, smiling out of the corner of her mouth. "But, no more disappearing on us like that again. Emily's not the only one that just got you back. We missed you too." She grabs my hand before correcting herself, "_I_ missed you."

"I missed you guys too. I just really needed to clear my head." I give her hand a squeeze. Spencer has always been one of my best friends. I'm glad to have that with her again. "No more disappearing again, I promise." She seems satisfied with the declaration so she pats my hand and returns to her coffee. "So how long have you been in my house?" I question.

"Um about three days. We were worried when we couldn't get a hold of you," she says looking at me and shrugging her shoulders.

"We?"

"Aria and Hanna are sleeping in your bed at the moment," Spencer replies matter-of-factly, raising her mug to her lips. "And I'm to report to Emily that you are ok when we heard from you. She wanted to come too but I figured that probably wouldn't be the best idea." She was probably right about that. I wasn't sure if I could handle seeing her again yet. The thought of it alone angers and saddens me some. Instead of dwelling on it, I push the thought out of my head and replace it with the image of the blonde haired girl with the mesmerizing green eyes that makes me laugh. Instead of saying anything, I just nod in response to Spencer's statement.

"Well," I say, breaking the silence. "Should we go wake the fashion twins?" Spencer tries her best to stifle a scoff, almost spraying coffee out of her nose, as I get up from the table and start to head up stairs. We find Aria and Hanna spooning on my bed. Thankfully, I've been trained to hold my composure, because this is priceless.

"You know…normally, I'd love having two women spooning in my bed, but since it's you two... I don't know how to feel..." I state loudly while standing at the foot of the bed, causing the pair to jolt awake. Hanna sits up rather suddenly, making a rather interesting grunting noise, while Aria just rolls over with a muttered 'the hell?' The whole scene makes me giggle.

"Ok everybody out of my bed," I say. "Time to get a moving." The two girls in the bed groan while Spencer and I grin in amusement.

"Fine, on one condition..." Hanna announces. Oh here we go. You never really know you're in for when Hanna Marin has conditions for doing something. "You come to the opening of the new gay bar with us. I need to get me some pink drinks." The comment earns an eyebrow raise from me and a face palm from Spencer. I look between Spencer and Aria, not sure what I'm missing.

"Um... Pink drink?"

"Remember back when Hanna was spying on you and Shana?" Spencer inquires, not removing her face from her palm.

"Um yeah..."

"She was hit on by some random girl that sent her a drink of the pink variety," Aria finishes with a flourish of her hand and an eye roll as she lays back down on the bed.

"Ah I see," I reply, rather amused at the whole concept. Yes, Hanna is pretty, but gay? Um no, so of course I have to see this for myself. "Ok, I'll come. Sound like fun." All three girls look at me as if they are surprised until Hanna breaks the silence, "Hell yeah!"

We go downstairs to talk and eat breakfast. It's nice having the girls around. They are planning on staying all day since we have plans tonight and it's Saturday anyway. I had planned to call the paper and ask for Alex's contact but when Aria mentioned it was Saturday, I realized I'd have to wait till Monday to find her. I get a little bummed about it which the other three notice so of course I have to tell them the story.

"...so the next day, I got up the nerve to ask her to hang out with me and she said yes," I say, filling them in. The three girls have smiles on their faces as I continue to talk about my afternoon in the park with Alex. Hanna looks as though her excitement is about to overflow right out her ears. She is literally bouncing in her seat. I look at her in pure amusement. My head is cocked to the side, my eyebrows are scrunched up and I have a smirk on my face. I never thought they'd be so happy to see me with someone besides their best friend. I guess when your best friend is engaged though, it's easier to see me getting along with someone else.

"That's so exciting! Tell her to come tonight," Hanna practically screams. The other girls and I cringe from the shrillness.

"I can't Hanna. I lost her number and its Saturday so I can't get a contact from the paper," I sigh.

"Oh no! Well we'll call first think Monday!" She replies.

"We? You wanting to date her Hanna?" I retort causing the other girls to laugh.

"Well... No, but..." Hanna tries to recover, turning a bright shade of pink. All I can do is laugh.

Before we leave the three of them decide that my jeans and t-shirt is not good enough for a grand-opening of a gay bar, even if it is a small town bar.

"Um no," Aria comments when I walk down the stairs.

"What?" I look down at myself wondering what's wrong.

"Come on, we'll help you," Hanna adds. I throw a look to Spencer pleading for her to help, but all she can do is shake her head. I send her another look that vocalizes my dislike of her non-involvement. Paige does not approve. If the two girls weren't holding my hands as they drag me up the stairs I would have filled Spencer off. Seven outfit choices later, Hanna and Aria finally agree on a suitable outfit as I continue to glare at a giggling Spencer. The outfit choice is actually pretty nice and not too out of the ordinary. The fashionistas picked out a pair of skinny grey jeans, a white v-neck and a black sport coat. I actually look pretty good, if I do say so myself.

About an hour later, we end up at the new and only gay bar, right on the edge of Rosewood. The place is actually pretty cool. There are neon lights all over and three full bars with a massive dance floor. Usually, I'm not much of a dancer but Hanna gets me out there somehow; she can be very persuasive. I end up attracting several women. I'm not sure if I'm just blatantly gay or I just look hot tonight, either way I'm loving it. I'm dancing with probably the fifth girl of the night, when I get a tap on my shoulder for the sixth time that night.

"May I cut in?" The voice says over my shoulder to the scantily clad blonde currently grinding on me. (Hey don't judge me...) I give the blonde a shrug and a look that says 'sorry not sorry' before turning around and connecting with the mostly beautiful green eyes I've ever seen. I have no idea how she found me, but standing in front of me is my new favorite photographer.

"Alex..." I say with a smile, ducking my head. "I thought you had an out of town assignment."

"And I thought you were going to call me..." She says with a wink and a smirk.

"Ok well about that... I forgot your card at the hotel and then spent three hours looking for contact information. I was going to call the paper then realized..." I'm not able to finish my rambling because I suddenly find Alex's lips on mine. The kiss is a lot longer than our first. She grabbed the lapel of my sport coat with both hands, pulling me into a deep kiss. When she pulls away, it takes several minutes for me to open my eyes and readjust to the dim colored light. The kiss was beautiful and amazing but it is still hard to compare it to Emily's kisses. Right now though, in this moment I don't care. I look up into her bright green eyes and place a hand behind her neck to pull her into another deep kiss. This kiss lasts several seconds, until neither of us can breathe.

"Hi." I say, pulling back to look into her eyes. She returns the hello without letting go of my waist. "So what are you doing here? I can't tell you how happy I am to see you but what about your assignment?" I place my hands on her shoulders and just look at her.

"Well, I was about to leave but then 'Mr. Editor' found out about this and apparently, a gay bar opening in a small town is way more important than the state's largest cookie or something," she replies with a cute shake of her head. "But I couldn't be happier now, since you're here. Speaking of, it's your turn... What are you doing here?"

"I live in Rosewood," I reply, causing her to lift her chin and say ahhhh. "So well do you care to dance? Since you cut in and all..." I add, extending my hand. She takes it with a smile before I pull her in close. The timing couldn't have been better. The music turns slower so we relax into a slower rhythm as we rock back and forth.

_I see her from across the room. My heart still hurts to see her as I wonder if this is the end. I want to go over there and pull her in close and dance with her. I've wanted to do that all night but I give her the space she needs, not sure what she is thinking. She looks amazing tonight; the cowgirl look fits her. Those white short shorts, that plaid button up shirt with the sleeves cut off, buttoned up only halfway, exposing her cleavage only slightly: It's driving me crazy. As the group of people I'm talking to leave, I see Emily walking towards me. The smile I had on drops, making my face look serious._

_"Hey," she says, looking confident but nervous at the same time._

_"Hey," I reply back nodding my head up._

_"Look, I don't want to be the person that ends up with mushy squash." I'm really confused at her statement. I have no idea what she is talking about. My eyes get wide for a second and I tilt my head forward._

_"Are you drunk?" I ask very concerned._

_"No"_

_"What are you trying to say?" I ask, raising my shoulders and dropping them. I just want her to be up front with me and tell me what she wants. She knows what I want._

_"I'm saying that I want to dance with you. Now, before they turn the lights off," she states, making things clear for me for the first time tonight. I look into those deep brown eyes and my breath catches for a second in my throat. I take a deep breath before looking down to grab her hand without a word. I feel myself start to smile as she pulls me onto the dance floor with a smile of her own. Even though she's the one that had asked me to dance, I take charge, spinning her around so her back is to me with my chin on her shoulder. The moment is perfect and I silently hope to myself that things between us will stay like this for as long as possible, if not forever._

Despite, the fact that I have a beautiful blonde girl in my arms, swaying to the music with her cheek pressed to mine, I can help but think of the dark-haired girl. I try my best to push her out of my head and focus on the green-eyed photographer in my arms. It feels so good to have my cheek pressed against hers, with her hands on my back. I focus on the physical because if I retreat back into my mind, I know Emily will be there waiting because she is always right there in my mind. I pull Alex back to look into her eyes and I see her smile at me. I remove my hand from hers to place it on her cheek, pulling her into a short but sweet kiss. We look at each other for a second once the kiss ends before we relax back into our previous rhythm. As I'm enjoying the present moment, lost in Alex's embrace, I feel a hand on my shoulder causing shivers to rush down my spine. I turn around, regretfully breaking my hold on Alex, making eye contact with deep, beautiful brown eyes.

"Paige, can I dance with you?" The dark-haired girl asks before turning to Alex and adding, "Is that ok?"

"Sure, I guess," Alex replies, giving me a look to ask me if I'm ok. I nod slightly, not really sure of what to say. "I'll just be over at the bar," she adds pointing her thumb over her shoulder before turning to walk away. Before I can think, I reach over to grab her arm, pulling her around slightly to give her a short but lingering kiss.

"I'll be over there soon," I say, looking into green eyes that are full of understanding despite the fact that she has no idea what is going on. She nods her head before giving me one more peck on the lips and turning away to go wait at the bar. I turn back to Emily, who was watching the whole scene and offer my hand. She takes it and pulls me close but with enough space between us to not make anyone suspicious. Even with the space between us, I feel the electricity between us and the want for me to pull her flush against me rises inside of me with ever increasing force.

"You look great," Emily says looking into my eyes. I can see that there's something else to the expression on her face but I can't place it. "Who was that you were, um, dancing with?" She clears her throat as she says it, making it clear she meant kissing. Was Emily Fields jealous?

"Her name is Alex," I reply trying to read her face more. "We've been hanging out. I like her." I say as a smile creeps onto my lips at the mention of Alex.

"She's definitely pretty," Emily comments. "Are you two official?"

"No, but I guess you can say we are talking. I'm definitely interested." Emily seems to be turning a light shade of red at my statement but it's hard to know for sure in the dim light. All of my doubt, however, disappears with her next words.

"I don't know how I feel about that," she states matter-of-factly. I pull back to look at her, breaking our hold on each other. I feel my emotions turn to anger in less time than it takes to snap your fingers.

"Excuse me?" I question somewhat bitterly. As cute as it is that Emily is jealous, it makes me angry that she's trying to have a say in who I spend my time with. "You don't get a say here, Emily. I'm trying to move on from you, just like you moved on from me." Her eyes grow wide and her mouth drops as if she is going to say something but I don't give her a chance. I turn around a head to the bar. When I get there, I find Alex and place a hand on her back before leaning over her shoulder to say in her ear, "Hey do you want to get out of here?" She turns to look at me and without a word, gets up from the tall chair, grabs my hand and leads me out the door, leaving Emily behind us, standing on the dance floor.


	14. Chapter 14

**-A Note: You guys are amazing. Over 10,000 views? Are you kidding me? Thank you guys so so much! This is a shorter chapter but gives you Emily's POV on the club scene. Thanks again for reading you guys! Can't tell you how much I love it!**

Emily isn't sure what to expect when she walks into the new gay club in town. She knows Paige might be there since Spencer had informed her earlier that Paige had returned from her fleeting absence. The knowledge that Paige was safe allowed her to breathe a sigh of relief. She had been extremely worried about Paige. When the brunette hadn't answered her calls or texts for the first few days after the kiss, she understood it was probably because of that morning in the pool. However, when a week had gone by and no one had heard from Paige, Emily started panicking. She was terrified that something had happened to Paige or that she had left. As confused as Emily is, she doesn't want to lose Paige again. Actually, she _can't _lose Paige again. Her heart had already gone through that devastating loss once and Emily was sure she wouldn't be able to survive that again.

Eventually, Spencer used her super-sleuthing skills and found that Paige had bought a bus ticket but Spencer wouldn't tell her to where. She explained to Emily that the solider probably needed some time and that Emily shouldn't chase after her. She needed to come back on her own. In the end, Spencer was able to convince her to drop the search if the other girls went and camped out at Paige's until the girl returned.

_"I just want to know she's safe Spencer! And I want to apologize," Emily exclaims, getting frustrated at her friend sitting in front of her._

_"I'm not telling you were she went Emily," Spencer retorts with a calm even tone. "She needs time. You chose Stephanie and Paige needs time alone to accept that and move on herself."_

_"Spence, I just need to talk to her..."_

_"By tracking her down?" Spencer scoffs with a look of sarcasm. "I'd love to be around for that conversation: 'Emily what are you doing here?' 'I just needed to say sorry' 'How'd you even know where to find me, Stalker?'" Spencer turns her head with each change in conversation ending with a look of immense amusement. Emily on the other hand looks as if she is going to hit Spencer in the face._

_"Look Em…if you want her to be your friend again, just give her time," Spencer pleads with her scowling friend, attempting to calm her down. "You're just going to keep pushing her away if you don't." Spencer is right and Emily knows it. It pains her to think she could lose Paige entirely…for the second time in her life._

_"Ok, Spence, you're right. I'll back off," Emily says with a look of defeat._

_"Of course I'm right, it's me," Spencer comments, a smug look on her face. Emily just looks at the confident girl and rolls her eyes. She needs to find a way to get back at her for this._

_"…On one condition," Emily adds with a side glance. Spencer's face drops. She isn't sure where this is going. "You guys go to her house and let me know when she gets back and is safe." The request elicits a frustrated groan as the seated girl rolls her head back. Of course Emily would find a way to turn this around on her. The dark-haired girl stands in front of her friend smugly, her weight sifted to one leg, her arms crossed waiting for her friend to relent._

_"Ok, ok… I'll do it," Spencer replies rubbing her temples. The things she'd do for her friends…_

The music of the club is just beginning to slow as Emily pushes the door open, walking into the crowd with Stephanie behind her. The place is surprisingly more packed then she thought it would be. She didn't realize there were so many gay people in this area.

"Wow, this place is busy," Stephanie says into Emily's ear, earning a nod in response from Emily as the girl searches the crowd. Stephanie knows that Emily has been worried about her ex just disappearing suddenly and assumed it was because of the fact that she had already lost her friend once in her lifetime. The short-haired girl doesn't know about the kiss so she is not worried or jealous that her fiancé is currently scanning the crowd for Paige. They both know the solider was back from her mysterious trip and Stephanie knows that Emily needs to see her.

"I'm going to go find the other girls," the blue-eyed girl says, giving Emily a kiss on the cheek. The girl turns to her fiancé and gives her a nod and a smile before returning the kiss with a peck on the lips. Emily is still amazed at how understanding and gracious Stephanie is being about the situation. The thought causes Emily to feel a tinge of guilt for keeping what happened between her and Paige a secret. On one hand the choice shouldn't be so difficult but in reality she was literally in pieces over the decision. Stephanie was there when she needed it most. The girl is even there for her know despite the immediate risk of Emily possibly breaking her heart. There really is no doubt to the depths of Stephanie's love for her fiancé. Paige on the other had was the love of her life. If she hadn't disappeared, Stephanie wouldn't be even in the picture. There is no easy decision and either way, one or more of the three would end up getting hurt in the end.

Despite the fairly dense crowd, it doesn't take Emily long to find Paige dancing cheek-to-cheek with a girl who has darker blonde, wavy hair. Paige is holding the girl awfully close for her to be someone the brunette just met tonight but Emily shrugs off the thought as she begins to advance towards the dancing girls. She's caught dead in her tracks when she witnesses Paige pull the girl slightly away from her to place a hand on the girl's cheek before connecting their lips together. The sight shouldn't make her angry because she's engaged and Paige should be able to be with whomever she wants, but it does bother her. She doesn't like the idea of Paige with another girl. Hatred for the girl in the brunette's arms starts to bubble inside of Emily as she watches the girl rest her head back on Paige's shoulder. The jealousy she is now experiencing, pushes her to regain movement in her legs and start approaching the girls once again. When she reaches the content and happy-looking pair, Emily places a gentle hand on Paige's shoulder causing her to break the hold she has on the girl and look at Emily in the eyes. Emily can't deny the satisfied feeling she experiences the moment the pairs' hold on each other is broken. Paige's face looks surprised for a second before turning emotionless.

"Paige, can I dance with you?" the dark-haired girl asks before turning to the other girl. Emily can't help but notice the blonde's stunning deep green eyes and fair skin. She's beautiful and she can see why Paige might be attracted to her. "Is that ok?" She adds, asking the blonde-haired girl, even though she couldn't care less if the girl was ok with it or not. The girl obliges, telling Paige she'd wait at the bar before turning around to walk away. She doesn't get very far because Paige grabs her arm to turn her around and give her a kiss, directly in front of Emily. Emily's anger rises inside her as she stands there, helpless to stop the lip-locked woman. She hears Paige say something to the girl before the blonde confidently walks away with a smile that Emily wishes she could slap right off. Turning back to Emily, Paige extends a hand and pulls Emily close. She wants to pull her in and kiss her again to show the girl that Paige belongs to her, but she doesn't since Stephanie is wandering around somewhere. Emily looks into Paige's eyes and compliments her appearance, the solider really does look good tonight and in fact she looks hot.

"Who was that you were, um, dancing with?" the raven-haired girl asks, trying her best not to reveal her jealousy. Emily probes for more information, wanting to know more about the connection between the two girls. She doesn't like the answer she gets. Paige is interested in someone else and she doesn't like that. No, it isn't fair to Paige for her to be jealous when she is engaged to someone else but she can't help the searing feeling in her gut. The smile Paige gives her when she's talking about the blonde makes her sick. That's her smile, not that girl's. As far as Emily is concerned, what's-her-name does not deserve an award winning smile from Paige.

"I don't know how I feel about that," she blurts without thinking, immediately regretting the words as Paige pulls away from her. The face she sees is full of anger and disgust.

"Excuse me? You don't get a say here, Emily. I'm trying to move on from you, just like you moved on from me," Paige says forcefully, her eyes cutting into Emily like daggers. Before Emily can say anything else, the jealous girl is left alone on the dance floor, when Paige turns and leaves the bar with Alex on her arm. Emily stands shocked and fuming on the dance floor for several minutes until the image of an angry Paige yelling at her isn't so fresh in her mind. She finds her way over to the bar and sits down with a look of shock still on her face. Out of now where, another girl comes up and leans her back again the bar to her side. Emily doesn't look up until she sees a shot of vodka slide under her arm. She looks up at the girl standing next to her before rolling her head and eyes accompanied by a muttered, "Oh great."

"I told you so," Spencer says smugly, throwing back a shot of her own. She had seen the whole scene and of course since Spencer is Spencer and can read lips, she knew what was said as well. Emily hangs her head again. She should have listened to Spencer and just left the solider to move on in her own way. Shaking her head, she lifts her shot to her lips and downs it, grateful for the burn she feels as the liquid travels down her throat. It matches the searing pain in her heart and the raging jealousy in the pit of her stomach. Spencer places her hand on Emily's back, patting it twice before saying, "Come on, I think someone wants to dance with you." She nods her head towards the dance floor, allowing Emily's eyes to follow and spot her very adorable looking fiancé on the dance floor beckoning for her to join in. The scene makes Emily chuckle before she gets up to join Stephanie. She's grateful the cute, short-haired and goofy girl is there with her. As the girl is pulled into the other's arms to be twirled on the dance floor, Emily focuses her mind on the girl in front of her who allows her to forget, at least for a moment, about Paige being with someone else.


	15. Chapter 15

**-A Note: Dear Readers, you all are amazing. I can't thank you enough for the reviews and the views. So for those of you who have read this story before when I first posted, you're probably going to notice a big difference. There's a lot of new stuff to this chapter. Mostly just more in-depth and descriptive. I hope you all enjoy and please review! I really love reading them! **

My heart is pounding with anger as I throw myself down into the passenger seat of Alex's car. I had ridden to the club earlier in Hanna's car with the other girls so I need a ride home. Alex starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot in the direction of my house. I can't believe the nerve Emily had to say what she did to me concerning Alex. It's none of her fucking business who I am interested in anymore. She doesn't get to be jealous. She didn't chose me. Alex and I sit in silence for a few miles while my head spins with angry thoughts. I tell her to make a turn, breaking the silence, taking a depth breath afterward to calm myself now that the situation is over. Alex doesn't deserve to be ignored.

"I'm sorry about that," I apologize, glancing over at her. She looks calm and cool as if, my previous state of anger doesn't phase her at all. Her face scrunches slightly in concern as she glances over to me quickly before turning her eyes back to the road.

"It's ok," she says softly, reaching over to place her hand on mine. "Really it is." She pats my hand before intertwining her fingers into mine as her palm rests on the back of my hand. The soft skin of her hand feels amazing on mine, causing the back of my hand to tingle. The comfort she instantly brings with only a simple touch causes me to smile slightly.

"If you don't mind my asking, who was that?" She inquires as she turns onto my street. I direct her to my driveway and let her park before turning to face her.

"She's my ex," I say plainly, looking down at my hands. I don't know how else to put it. 'Emily is my everything but she doesn't want me back anymore' doesn't strike me as a very appropriate answer for this situation. I feel the tips of Alex's fingers lightly touching under my chin, politely and silently asking me to look up. Her beautiful eyes, filled with concern, are waiting for me when I look up. She searches my eyes for a second, as if she's trying to peer into my thoughts.

"There's more to it than that, I can tell," she states. Her tone is not angry, jealous or demanding it's calm and patient as if she knows I will tell her in time if I want to. She's not expecting anything but still shows me in the slightest but also most powerful way possible that she is there for me when I'm willing and ready to come to her. Her touch and her soothing voice, allow me to relax even more as I look into her comforting eyes and take her hand in mine. I want to tell her everything so she knows what she might be getting into but I can't. It's all too hard still.

"Alex, there's a lot I should tell you but I don't really know where to start or if I can even manage to talk about it now," I say, letting out an exasperated sigh. "My life the last few years has been really…difficult and not so great." I stumble on my words not really knowing how to sum up three years of torture and the love of my life getting married in one sentence. Alex takes a depth breath while continuing to look into my eyes.

"Well, when or if ever you want to tell me, I'll be here to listen. No judgment," she says giving me an understanding smile. Her smile is infectious, causing me to grin and dip my head. "There's that little head dip I can't get enough of," she adds causing color to rise into my cheeks. I suddenly realize the car is still running and wonder to myself if she was planning on just dropping me off. I get bold and decide to just ask her; I don't want her to leave yet.

"Do you want to come in?" I ask, pointing to the house. Without skipping a beat, she turns the keys to silence the engine and turns back around to me.

"Yes," she says, looking back at me plainly for only a second before a wide, flirty smile erupts from her lips. I smile back and undo my seat belt before turning back to her. As she reaches for the door handle, I intercept her hand and gently pull her back around to connect my lips to her's for a soft but lingering kiss.

"Thank you," I say when I pull away from her lips. "For understanding." She smiles at me without saying anything before getting out of the car. When we meet up at the hood of the car, she snakes an arm around my waist and we walk together in silence just enjoying the other's company. I take her coat after we've entered the house and show her to the kitchen as she scans the house and takes in the details. I noticed the habit quickly into our day together in Philadelphia. Whenever she walked into a room or a new place, her eyes immediately started bouncing from object to object; corner to corner; or person to person. It really is adorable and fascinating to watch. Her nose scrunches as she analyzes the way the light hits off of certain objects and shadows others. Those big green eyes light up when she sees a perfect mix of brilliant color that would stand out well in a photograph. I can't help but smile as she analyzes my house, silently judging what would make a good photograph. I break her concentration, somewhat regretfully because I was very much enjoying watching her, to hand her a beer before showing her into the living room and sitting on the couch. It doesn't take her long to start scanning her eyes around the new room, looking pretty impressed with what she's seeing.

"Wow, this is a really nice place," she says, as she sits down sideways on the couch to face me, crossing one leg under her other thigh.

"My parents left it to me," I admit, taking a sip of my beer. I can't take my eyes off the girl sitting in front of me. She's even more gorgeous in light I can actually see in. Her hair is down; the slight wave in her hair hitting just above her shoulders. Her light-green, short-sleeve shirt, hugs her body in all the right places, showing off her lean but curvy body and complementing the deep green of her eyes. Those eyes catch mine and I let out a nervous laugh, realizing she just caught me staring at her. She flashes me a knowing smirk.

"You know..." She begins, getting up from the couch and setting her beer on the end table. "I think you still owe me a dance, seeing as the first one got interrupted." Her voice is flirty as she extends a hand to help me off the couch. I take it and walk over to the stereo turning on a random radio station that I know is pop, not caring what they play. I then grab her hand and spin her into my arms. We start to sway and relax into each other as she rests her head against my shoulder pulling me as tightly as dancing will allow. I can feel every warm exhale of breath on the sensitive skin of my neck as we slowly sway to the beat. It feels wonderful to have her in my arms but I can't stop thinking about Emily. I never stop thinking about Emily, even when all I want to do is forget about her so I can move on with my life minus the intense hold she has on every single minute fiber of my being. I'm beginning to wonder if it's even possible to ever let go of her.

I do my best to bring myself back to the present and focus on the gorgeous woman in my arms. I pull my consciousness back just in time to feel the physical connection between us begin to grow into a deep tension as she pulls her head back to kiss me, long and hard. I tangle my hand in her thick but smooth hair, pulling her as close as possible. I'm able to pull myself into this moment; focusing only on Alex and her hands running up and down my sides and my back, exploring the tone of my body. She runs her tongue along my bottom lip and I allow it to make its way in to meet mine. As our tongues begin to dance, Alex and I abandon our's and pull each other into an embrace, our arms wrapped tightly around the other. I move my hands to cup her face, carefully guiding her to the couch without breaking the hold our lips have on each other. She feels the couch hit the back of her leg but spins us around to push me down on the couch instead. I'm startled but also deeply aroused by her taking control. The movement causes us to pull apart, allowing me to see the hunger beginning to burn in her eyes as they grow a shade darker. The heat I'm beginning to feel intensifies a hundred-fold the second Alex straddles my lap and places her lips on my neck. My entire body shudders in delight, a deep moan escaping my lips.

I forgot how good it feels to be touched and kissed like this. I can't think of anything but Alex's lips on my neck and her fingers lightly running up my side. My mind and body (definitely my body) are completely in the now with Emily nowhere in sight and I'll be damned if I don't take advantage of every second of this. I grip her waist tighter as her small movements send another surge of electricity rushing though my body. I kiss her shoulder before kissing her neck and eventually make my way to her lips. Gently, I suck her bottom lip into my mouth to playful bite down preventing her from trying to pull away. I can tell she likes it when she lets out a deep, satisfied breath that verges on being considered a moan. Her hands continue to explore my body until they reach the hem of my shirt. Her hands slip underneath causing my flesh to burn out of desire for more of her touch. As she begins to pull off my shirt, I suddenly become very aware and subconscious of the scars I normally keep as hidden as possible. I immediately pull back from the kiss and grab her hands, pausing her movements. The look on my face has to convey panic as my eyes widen and I flap my mouth trying to put words together frantically. She searches my face, her eyes brows pinched together in confusion.

"I...ummm...my...uh...wounds," I manage to stutter out, almost whispering the last word. Her faces ease as she realizes what I'm trying to say. She obviously knows I just returned from overseas but she had no idea until a second ago that I had even be hurt, let alone tortured and beaten with an inch of my life on more than one occasion. Nonetheless, she leans in to give me a lingering kiss before pulling back again. She returns her hands to my hips, easing the tips of her fingers under my shirt. Alex looks up at me, silently asking for permission to take it off. I give her a slow, small nod despite being terrified and apprehensive as to how she will react when she sees my flawed skin. Slowly and gently, she pulls my shirt over my head and tosses it on the floor catching a full view of my tattered upper body. I watch her face expecting to see disgust but instead I see nothing but want. She traces the scars around my rib cage with a very light, tingling touch before leaning down and kissing the sensitive skin at bottom edge of my rib cage. The feeling the touch elicits causes me to buck my hips and arch my back a little, intensifying the heat now coursing through me. She motions for me to shift so that we are laying along the couch. As I lay down, I grab her shirt and lift it quickly over her head, gasping at the beautiful, flawless skin it reveals. Her purple bra cups her breasts perfectly making me ache to feel them against mine. We make quick work of the rest of our clothes before she slowly eases herself on top of me. I feel every inch of her body as it connects with my skin. When she's fully on top of me, a thigh pressing firmly between my legs, teasing me, I grip my fingers into her back in an effort to release some tension.

She begins to place kisses down my neck, stopping right above my breast. I moan in frustration when she pulls away but open my eyes to see her looking at my chest. Before I can feel any sort of embarrassment from the condition of my body, she grazes her hands across my chest ending with both hands cupping my breasts. I moan again, this time from utterly intense pleasure. She pauses to look down into my eyes before leaning down to kiss me on the mouth again. "You're beautiful," she whispers pulling away only inches from my face. She refuses to let me argue the fact by placing another kiss on my lips and running a hand up the inside of my thigh. Any words I was thinking about uttering are lost, replaced by the best kind of burning sensation on my inner thigh. Alex's fingers reach their target and all the buildup suddenly explodes inside of me as she finally touches me where I need to most. Because it's been so long, my body reacts immediately, taking almost no time to release the pleasurable tension coursing through my body with every movement of Alex's hand. Before long, my moans become louder and my back arches as I gets the release I so desperately need.

Alex slowly helps me come down from my high by placing light kisses on my cheeks as she curls up next to me, letting me hold her. Several minutes must pass before I can even try to string together any sort of thoughts. When I'm finally able to open my eyes, I look into her beautiful eyes which are darker and more intense than I've ever seen them. I press my lips to hers hard and passionately before pulling her up and leading her up the stairs. It's my turn to return the pleasure she just bestowed upon me.

_I kneel in the sand with the dry, scorching heat of the sun bearing down on me relentlessly. My scalp burns and relentlessly stings as a hand holds my head back by my hair, forcing me to watch the first of my men being tortured to death. He's kneeled down directly across from me and the others in our squad, his arms being held out to his sides. Blood flows down his face and his sides in steady streams staining the deep golden of the sand with a contrasting crimson. Pain, anguish and fear flash across his face with each crack of the whip being laid across his helpless body. Every crack I hear is accompanied by a scream, much like the thunder and lightning of an approaching storm. I wince with every strike, helpless to save him or even ease his pain. His eyes connect with mine as his body sags further and the screams grow weak. I hold his gaze, vainly attempting to give him any type of comfort I can. The agony I see is gone a moment later when the last crack of the whip drains the life from him..._

I sit up with a start, gasping for breath, not knowing where I am. My fear and alarm quickly melt to confusion when I realize I'm at home, in my bed, naked with my heart racing uncontrollably.

"Paige?" I hear a voice behind me say gently before feeling a soft touch on my upper arm. I whip around quickly, startled by the touch, to see Alex, still here and still naked as well. My heart rate slows as the familiarity of the room mixed with the comfort of Alex's eyes and soft touch conquer my nightmare.

"Are you ok?" She inquires, looking into my eyes. I give her a small nod, taking several more deep breaths. She pulls me into a hug and runs her hand through my hair, calming me even more.

"I had a nightmare," I say, not wanting to keep her in the dark. "A nightmare about a painful memory." She kisses the top of my head before I pull away to face her. "I want to tell you about everything. Everything that happened to me in the army, how I got these scars, why my ex made me so upset last night," I say calmly trying to gauge her emotions. "I want to tell you all of it. Do you have to be anywhere today?" She shakes her head before leaning in to kiss me, cupping my cheek with her hand.

"I can't think of anywhere else I want to be," she says give me a smile.

We get up from the bed and I excuse myself to the bathroom after extending an invitation to any of my clothes. I'm pleasantly surprised upon exiting the bathroom to find Alex sitting at the foot of the bed waiting for me in her underwear and one of my over-sized flannels. Only two of the buttons are done making it clear the shirt is in fact all she is wearing on her top half. Her hair is adorably messy from sleep, only adding to the sexy she is exuding. I'm about to pin her back down onto the bed, unable to control myself when she denies me by standing up and walking to the door with a satisfied and smug smirk on her face. I let out a loud playful groan before following her out the door and downstairs to make breakfast and start telling my story.

I wait till we finish with our food and then begin to tell the long and painful story of the last few years of my life. I start from the beginning with my enrollment in the ROTC in college through which I became an officer upon completing, entering the service immediately after. I explain about my life before my capture with Emily and the love we shared. She frowns signaling that she's not sure where this story is going or if she likes what she is hearing. I know it must be hard to hear because it's difficult to talk about, especially to someone I'm beginning to care for. I can tell she's becoming more confused and uneasy the more I talk about Emily and me. I'm sure she must be wondering why we aren't together if we were so deeply in love. It's then that I start into the last three and a half years of my life and let the pieces fall where they may.

I share the details of my capture earning a loud gasp in response. Alex covers her mouth with her hands as she continues to listen to my own personal horror story. After last night, she had to have suspicions as to the origins of my scars but I can tell by the anguish written on her face that she was not expecting anything close to this magnitude. I do my best to tell her as much as I can without being too graphic. When I finally complete my story, she sits there speechless with her hands still covering her mouth. I look down at my empty plate hope that my past as well as my current situation with Emily won't push her away.

"Oh my God, Paige," she eventually sighs out, placing a hand on mine.

"I understand if it's too much to deal with," I reluctantly say, not looking up. "We just met and if being with me is too much, I get it. I just wanted you to know."

"I'm not going anywhere," she states leaning her head down and to the side to get me to look at her. "I really like you Paige and I want to keep seeing you, if you want to keep seeing me. I don't care about your past." I look into her eyes and see complete understanding and caring. I relax a little, happy that she likes me enough to stick around. I lean in to give her a full and passionate kiss. When we break it, I lean my forehead against hers and say, "You're amazing." She lets out a little chuckle in response before pulling me into the first of many kisses we'd give each other that day, never leaving the house once.


	16. Chapter 16

**-A Note: Sorry guys. I know this one took awhile and it's not very long but I'm going to be working on another chapter today as well so I will probably have another chapter out later today as well. Hope you enjoy!**

The Sunday before Halloween (a week after the night at the club), Emily finds herself at the coffee shop with her three friends, just like every Sunday morning. They try to make it a routine to get together as often as possible and Sunday morning coffee is one of the best ways to do it. It allows the girls the much-needed time to vent and fill each other in on the week. Emily had spent the majority of the last one thinking and eventually came to the conclusion it was probably best if she listen to Spencer's advice. Of course, she wouldn't allow Spencer's ego to get any bigger by telling her that. In the end though, she realized it was best she let Paige move on from her just as she had from Paige. No more leading her on. There's no doubting that she still wants Paige in her life somehow so she hopes that maybe they can at least be friends again.

"Ok so... Halloween party at my house Friday, yes?" Hanna has planned this party for a month so the fact that she is asking (again) seems irrelevant. The other girls respond by rolling their eyes and nodding. "Costumes are required," she adds.

"When do we ever not wear costumes for Halloween, Hanna?" Aria retorts. Halloween is one of the girls' favorite times of year. They always have the best costumes, hands down.

"Spence will you make sure Paige knows she's invited?" Hanna asks sending a glance to Emily to see what her reaction will be before adding, "And tell her, Alex can come too." Spencer only nods since she's in the middle of taking a sip of her third coffee that morning. Unlike what her friends think, Emily isn't upset about it. In fact, she's looking forward to seeing Paige and hopefully making amends. It also doesn't hurt that she's very excited to see the brunette's choice of costumes; she always looks amazing in whatever costume she chooses. Her favorite over the years has never changed from their first Halloween together. That tux and top hat were beyond sexy. It was definitely a good thing that the train had compartments, with locks, because it didn't take her long to want to have her way with Paige in that tux. That outfit had also had a very special place in her mind since it always made Emily think of a future special day that she could have shared with Paige, a day that she'd now be sharing with Stephanie.

What Emily wasn't excited about was Alex. As much as Emily was telling herself to let Paige go, she couldn't help but be jealous of the girl; the girl with the smug little smile. Emily can still vividly see Paige walking out the door with Alex a week ago and it erupts an angry fire in the deepest pit of her stomach every time she thinks of it. She also just doesn't like the idea of anyone else walking into the room with Paige looking stunning in whatever costume she chooses.

"I can't wait to meet her," Aria comments at the mention of the blonde's name. The girls hadn't had a chance to meet Alex yet since the pair had left the club rather quickly. Then after Paige and Alex's anything but lazy Sunday together, Alex was forced to return to Philadelphia late that night to work the next morning and would not be able to return until the weekend for the party. The three curious girls did however, invade the house of the former solider the Monday after to get the low-down on who that girl was at the club.

_The three of them sit on the couch, drinking coffee they made for themselves when they hear Paige walk down the stairs. They look up together and watch for her to appear into view. When the brunette sees them, she jumps as she is caught unaware at the sight of the three girls on her couch._

_"SPENCER HASTINGS!" She yells clutching her chest, knowing exactly who to blame for the intrusion. "I swear, I will murder you in your sleep if you break into my house again," Paige points at the brunette who takes a slow drink of her coffee, peering expectantly over the rim as if she's challenging the solider. "Just remember that I've been trained in these things," she says continuing to point at the smug girl as she crosses in front of her to disappear into the kitchen for her own coffee. Aria and Hanna try their hardest not to spray coffee everywhere as they watch the interaction between the two girls. They forgot how well the two feed off each other._

_"Why are you guys here?" Paige asks, reappearing into the room coffee in hand. Her appearance is ruffled and sleepy, as if she didn't get much the night before._

_"Geez girl, did you sleep at all last night?" Hanna inquires taking in Paige as she stands in front of them in her oversized sweatpants and tank top letting out a yawn. "You look like you ran a marathon yesterday..." the blonde continues, pausing when she notices the muscular brunette pause mid-sip at her marathon comment. "Wait... Did you... 'run a marathon' yesterday?" She says suggestively, putting air quotes around her words and raising her eyebrow. Paige looks at the girl wide-eyed, the rim of her mug still lingering at her lips, completely frozen. After a minute, she relaxes her shoulders and gives the girl a confident grin._

_"Wouldn't you like to know?" Paige remarks confident and smug as she walks over to the couch to sit down._

_"Oh give it up, Paige," Spencer exclaims throwing a pillow at the girl that would have hit her in the face if she hadn't blocked it. "When did lover girl leave?"_

_"ALEX...," Paige replies, stressing the girl's name. "…left around eleven... I think." She smiles to herself as she says it, remembering her fantastic day yesterday. The other girls sit staring at her, taking in the new information they just received._

_"Photographer Alex? From Philadelphia?_" _Aria asks for the three of them. Paige raises her eyebrows and smiles, her face lighting up as she gives the girls a signature head dip signaling yes._

_"Way to go Paige," Spencer says, stressing each syllable._

_"Ok, tells us EVERY detail!" Hanna exclaims receiving a resounding, "NO!" from the three other girls._

Emily rolls her eyes at Aria, indicating that she, for one, is not excited to meet the beautiful photographer.

"Em..." Aria begins with a sincere, pleading tone but Emily throws her hands in the air and cuts her off.

"I know, I know... She's helping Paige be happy again," Emily says in a mocking tone, causing the other girls to relax a little. They really didn't want to argue about this with her again for probably the thousandth time. They are relieved to know that Emily may finally be coming to her senses on her relationship with Paige and the direct effect she has on the girl's life. "But does she really have to sleep with her?" She adds causing the others to groan loudly. "Ok geez," Emily finally relents.

"So to change the subject... Yesterday, Ezra and I..." Aria begins before being interrupted by someone not at the table.

"I totally thought that man would have left Rosewood by now," Paige teases approaching the table. "Hey girls," she says with a nod before turning to Emily. "Hey Em," she adds timidly with a small smile while playing with the lid of her coffee cup. 'She looks great,' Emily thinks to herself. Her long brunette hair is down, her locks falling around the shoulders of her leather coat. The air is still around them as a slightly uneasy tension lingers at the table. Emily and Paige stare into each other's eyes for a several long minutes, both of them unable to break their gaze from each other until the other girls take matters into their own hands.

"Well, I should probably getting going..."

"Yup me too..."

"Yeah there's totally a fashion emergency somewhere that need my help..."

Spencer, Aria and Hanna all get up at the same time, leaving Emily and Paige alone, looking at each other in confusion. Paige dips her head and lets out a nervous chuckle, knowing they've been set up.

"Can I sit?" She asks Emily, pointing to the chair across from her as the other girls make their way out of the shop. Being with Alex over the weekend had helped clear her mind and get over what Emily had said. Maybe the dark-haired beauty was just jealous. There is, of course, a lot of history between the two girls. Paige too had been jealous when she saw Emily and Stephanie together so perhaps it isn't her place to judge.

"Yeah…please," Emily says, thankful that Paige is at least speaking to her again. About a second after Paige sits down they both apologize simultaneously causing them both to giggle.

"What are you sorry for?" Emily asks looking at Paige, whose eyes are still focused on the rim of her coffee cup. "I'm the one that should be sorry."

"Em... I shouldn't have yelled at you like that... Either time. I'm sorry," Paige replies, her eyes full of sincerity. 'It's just like Paige to apologize for something that isn't her fault' Emily thinks to herself. She can't believe how selfless the girl in front of her is. She stands up for herself and then apologizes because she may have hurt Emily's feelings.

"Paige, no... Don't be sorry," Emily says shaking her head and extending a hand to place it on Paige's. Sparks shoot through her fingertips and up her arm at the contact causing her to take back her hand a second later. It take her a second to regain her composure as Paige looks up into her eyes. "I shouldn't have said that about your, um friend, Alex," Emily says, trying not to put disdain behind the girl's name. "And... I shouldn't have kissed you," she adds, looking down at her hands as she picks at her fingernails. "Although, I can't say I would take it back if I could." She couldn't help the last words. She needs the solider to know she still cared for her, that she still loves her, even if she couldn't say the words back in that moment.

"It's ok, Em," Paige replies, her voice low but steady. "No regrets, right?" She smiles at the girl sitting in front of her hoping they are both getting on the same page again.

"Right," Emily says giving Paige a wide smile back. "So can we maybe try again? Be friends?" She says the words carefully, not sure what the answer will be.

"You got it," the brunette replies quickly, her smile widening as she dips her head again. They both giggle, glad they might be able salvage something between themselves, whatever that might be.

"So... Hanna told Spencer to remind you that you are invited to her Halloween party on Friday, but since you're here... I figured I'd go ahead and do it," the dark-haired girl says as she tucks a lock behind her ear. Paige nods in response, her smile still on her face at the thought of seeing Emily in her costume. She too always looked forward to seeing Emily's costume choice every year. The dark-haired beauty had a way of picking out the perfect outfit to show off her curves and general sexy appeal. "She also wanted you to know Alex is invited as well," Emily adds, against her own will. Paige can see that girl in front of her had a hard time choking that last phrase out. She had of course apologized but that didn't mean she wasn't still jealous.

"Thanks," Paige replies now more confident. "So will I see you there?"

"Yeah... Definitely," Emily replies taking another sip of her coffee. She pauses to look at the girl in front of her, happy that she and the girl are on good terms again. "So what's your costume this year?" Emily implores, curious about what sort of amazing look Paige would come up with but Paige just looks at her with a mischievous smile and takes a sip of her coffee before replying.

"I'll guess you'll just have to wait and see."


	17. Chapter 17

Alex and I arrive at Hanna's house a little after nine P.M. The girl on my arm looks amazing and we can't stop smiling at how good the other looks. She looks so sexy in her nineteen-twenty's flapper dress. Her hair is swept off to the side so it swoops just above her eye. Her dress is short and shows off her thin but tone legs, which are adorned with thin pantyhose, which I can't wait to strip off later. She must like my look as well because when I answered the door earlier in my pinstriped pants, tucked-in white collared shirt, suspenders and black and white dress shoes, her jaw dropped. And I didn't even have the slim cut suit coat or fedora to finish off the mobster look on yet.

The party is already going strong when we step up to the front door. We can easily hear the music outside on the front step. I don't bother knocking because I know no one will hear me anyway and the two of us walk inside to find the place fairly crowded. I don't know a lot of these people.

"Paige!" I hear a deep voice to my right call out. Looking over, I see Caleb dressed like Clark Kent with his Superman costume visible beneath his halfway unbuttoned shirt. "Hanna told me you were alive and back! I'm so glad I get to see you!" He pulls me into a bear hug, lifting me off my feet in the process. I smile at the contact, happy to see my friend again.

"Hey Caleb, where have you been?" I say. I honestly didn't know he was still around or if he and Hanna were still even together. Hanna hadn't mentioned it and I didn't think to ask.

"I got a tech job in California. It's really amazing. I come home now and then for holidays to see everyone," he smiles at me, not taking his hand off my shoulder.

"That's great man," I say smiling, truly happy for him. "So are you and Hanna..."

"No we broke up when I left, but we are on good terms now," he replies with a smile. I'm glad to hear that my friends are doing well. I introduce him to Alex before he walks with us to the living room where most of the people are dancing, standing around, talking and drinking copious amounts of alcohol. Hanna really went all out but to be honest I wasn't expecting anything less. It takes me all of about two seconds to realize that the girls chose a theme of superheroes this year when I see Aria in a slightly modified Wonder Woman costume (she always has to put her own fashion spin on whatever she's wearing) and Hanna in a Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman get up. I swear these four girls always have the best costumes. I'm glancing around to see who Emily chose to be this year when Spencer pops up unexpectedly in front of me with a drink for Alex and two shots. She's always the most modestly and accurately dressed of the four on Halloween. This year she choose to wear an exact replica of Jean Grey's uniform from the X-men comics, complete with a red wig.

"You're going to need these," she says into my ear as she hands me both shot glasses. I look at her confused, my eye brows scrunched together, head slightly tilted. Before Spencer can explain, Alex sees her.

"Holy leather... Who IS that dark-haired beauty," she says, nodding and looking over to my right. I turn my head slowly and see her standing there in Black Widow's (from the Avengers) tight, full-body, black leather suit, with just enough cleavage showing. Spencer is right: I do need these shots. I down them immediately, one after the other, before shaking my head and turning around to hand the glasses back to Spencer. I nod her a thanks, wide-eyed as she pats my shoulder. It's going to be a long night.

"That," I say, turning so that I'm facing Alex with my back to Emily. "...is Emily." She must not recognize Emily from the club. I mean it was dark and Emily wasn't dressed anything like this.

"You're EX, Emily? The same one from the club?" She inquires her eyes wide when I nod at her in confirmation. "Oh wow..." is all she can say as she continues to stare at the impossible amount of sexy standing on the other side of the room while taking a gulp of her drink." She's really not making this easy for you huh?" Alex comments, looking into my eyes. I can tell from the look in her eyes that she's nervous and maybe a tad unnerved that my ex looks like Emily Fields does so I try to lighten then situation.

"Well," I say linking my arm with her's and walking her towards the kitchen to get more drinks. "It turns out that I happened to meet this really hot woman who decided to wear a teasingly short dress today, so I'm kinda distracted by her," I half-lie because it really is not easy for me to not look at Emily in...THAT.

"So," Alex says looking up at me with a smirk. "Sometimes things do work out alright huh?" I let out a little short puff of air and smirk out the side of my mouth at the phrase.

"Yeah sometimes," I say turning my head to look at Emily again before adding to myself, 'when no one's looking, things work out.'

_I pull closed the small shade covering the compartment window before looking back at Emily in her silver costume. She looks amazing and we look amazing together. I smile as I walk back to my girlfriend._

_"I like this," she remarks smiling at me as I lean to the side to cover the distance faster._

_"Travel is so romantic," I comment. I'm buzzing inside with happiness; standing here in front of my beautiful girlfriend, someone I've wanted to be with for a long time and she's actually mine. It's unbelievable._

_"We can stay on board," she says. "Tell them to keep going, never stop." I smile at her full of enamor and wonderment before shaking my head slightly and kissing her with as much passion and love as I can muster. I pull back and stand there holding both of her hands as I scan her up and down._

_"What?" She says with a smirk, trying to decide what I'm thinking. I take off my top hat and rest it on the table next to us._

_"I'm just looking at you," I say my voice low and sensual. "Sometimes I'm still amazed that you're with me." I really am. I can't believe she chose me, out of everyone else, she chose me. How lucky am I?_

_"I'm amazed that you're with me," she answers back, her eyes looking into mine with love._

_"You mean to tell me that things actually work out alright?" I say, tilting my head playfully._

_"Sometimes, when nobody's looking, yeah, things work out," she says, a smile on her face. Neither of us can stop smiling at each other. We are so in love._

_"Tell me about love on your planet," I say playfully, bringing our linked hands up to our faces before pushing them back down again to kiss her long and hard._

Alex and I go and dance for a while until we are tired and in need of another drink. The whole time we are dancing, I keep finding ways to look at Emily. It's hard not to watch her. Despite having Alex, it's hard to not long after Emily. I've always wanted Emily and I always will. I know now that my affections for her will never change, will never go away, no matter how much I will them too. I catch her staring at me a few times and I wonder what she's thinking. We haven't spoken to each other yet tonight. I, for one, haven't initiated any conversation yet because I'm too afraid my mouth will blurt out things it really shouldn't, in front of her fiancé, who hasn't left her side all night. I don't blame Stephanie. If my fiancé dressed like that to a party, I'd have my arm around her all night too. Actually, Emily probably wouldn't have made it out the door in the first place and if she did, I'd be finding as many opportunities as possible to sneak away to a secluded corner or empty room.

When we need a break from dancing, Alex goes and sits down on the edge of the dance floor while I get some more drinks for us. I find Hanna in there, playing hostess by replacing empty snack bowls with full ones. She smiles at me when she sees me and rushes over to give me a hug.

"You looking awesome, Paige! I love the look and I must say, Alex looks pretty amazing in that dress huh?" She says winking at me and nudging me with her elbow. I smile and look down at the floor, thinking not about Alex's appearance but about how amazing Emily looks instead. Between the two of them, my ocular senses are on overdrive.

"Yes, Hanna, she looks amazing," I answer her. "But I didn't need you to tell me that." I smile at her and receive a smile and an exaggerated wink back. "Do you need any help," I ask, when I see her turn back to her bowls and snacks. I don't really want to be put to work but since Hanna's my friend, I figure I should at least put forth the effort to be nice and helpful. Plus, it's nice being in here, away from the constant temptation to look at Emily when I'm in the other room.

"No thanks. I'm doing fine. Almost done, actually," she says looking around to see if she's checked everything. "You just get back to that new girl of yours." She winks at me again before turning around to fill another bowl. 'My new girl'. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Sure, being with Alex is amazing and I love spending time with her but I've only ever felt like there was one girl in particular that could ever be 'my girl' and I don't know how I'll ever replace her completely. This moving on business is harder than it looks and it didn't look easy to begin with.

I pour another drink for Alex and I and head back to the living room where I left Alex. I'm taken aback when I walk into the room to see Emily talking to Alex. Emily is talking to Alex. The sight almost doesn't register with me. I can't hear or tell what they are saying to each other, so I'm not sure if I should be elated or terrified that they are talking. When Emily glances to the side and sees me walking towards them, she turns back to Alex to say a few more words before leaving her and walking towards me. She looks as if she wants to say something to me so I pause for a second as she reaches me.

"She's not good enough for you," Emily states, her eyes fairly glossy and her voice a little shaky "But no one really is." She then walks by me without another word, leaving me speechless and lost. I stand there for a second, my body twisted to look after her, drinks still in my hand. 'What is doing on?' I think to myself. 'What did she mean by that?' I walk up to Alex and jut my head and shoulders forward, silently asking 'what happened?' but Alex just shakes her head in answer as she takes her drink from my hand.

"Alex," I say imploringly, "what did she say to you?"

"Just the normal 'break her heart and I'll break your face' routine," she says. I don't completely believe her because I know Emily better than that. I don't want to push it though. I was completely honest with Alex about my past so I hope I can trust her enough to do the same.


	18. Chapter 18

**-A Note: Hello Everybody! Thanks again for all the views and favorites and follows! I LOVE reading what you all have to say about the story so please please please please review!**

**Anyways, for those of you who read this story before this chapter is A LOT different. There's a whole new scene. A whole new scene that is SEXY TIMES! So if you don't like that then don't read the portion in italics. **

**I hope you all like it! Enjoy!**

Emily had no idea her heart was capable of the jealousy she's experiencing at this moment. Paige looks amazing, she always does in suits, but the girl on her arm shouldn't be there. She knew she was going to be jealous of Alex, but not to this extent. She wants to run over there and push the girl back out the door. She wants to link her arm with Paige's like they always used to do but the arm tightening arm her waist reminds her that she's not here alone. Emily knows she shouldn't care, she has Stephanie and Paige isn't hers anymore but who does this girl thing she is to deserve Paige's affection? Who does she think she is to deserve Paige's gentle, loving touch on her skin or her sweet, passionate kisses on her lips? Who is she to be allowed to trace the soft but defined lines of Paige's back muscles while being held in the soldier's warm, strong embrace? What makes her so special that her eyes are able to look into Paige's warm, brown eyes as she wakes up on a lazy weekend morning with her adorably ruffled hair? Why does she get to be the one to slowly remove that pinstriped jacket, letting it drop to the floor as she slowly slides her hand under those suspenders and pulls them down, feeling Paige's broad shoulders and muscular arms as she eases them down? What makes her worthy enough to unbutton that shirt and...

"Hey Emily, you ok?" Stephanie says pulling the leather-clad girl out of her thoughts. Emily doesn't realize she is staring but apparently everyone else can easily tell.

"Yes, I'm fine," Emily replies looking to her right to see her. "I'm was just spacing out." Stephanie can tell something is wrong but she doesn't know exactly what. Yes, she knows Paige and Alex have just walked in but Emily had assured her before that she was choosing her not Paige. But, even knowing that, Stephanie can't help but think there is something bothering the raven-haired beauty. She's smart enough to know it has to be Paige. She knows there is still something between the two but Emily is insistent on the fact that she wants to be with her and not the brunette in the pin-striped suit. However, Stephanie knows that a love like the one those two shared does not just go away that easily.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, you have nothing to worry about," Emily replies looking into her fiancé's worrisome eyes. She leans into kiss her to reassure her. "I love you."

"I love you too," Stephanie replies looking into Emily's eyes. "Do you need something else to drink my 'black widow'?" She says it somewhat seductively, grabbing Emily's hips a tad roughly and pulling them flush against hers. The comment earns a smile and a giggle, ending with a peck on the lips.

"I'd love another one my 'Captain America'."

"Seriously, I could puke at the cuteness," Hanna says as she briefly walks by. The two girls look at each other and let out a giggle at the passing observation. Stephanie then turns away to go get more drinks, holding on to Emily's hand until her fingers slip from hers. Emily turns her attention back to Paige and Alex as they dance in each other's arms, her heart aching with jealousy. Emily knows she shouldn't stare at them but she can't help it; Paige just looks so damn attractive. She finds herself realizing that she wants to be Alex in this moment. She wants to be in Paige's arms. She shakes her head, casting off the thought the best she can. The truth is she isn't Alex because if she was and Paige was holding her in that suit, they most certainly would not be on the dance floor and Paige would probably only be half dressed at this point.

_"Tell me about love on your planet," the brunette says with a lovingly, playful smile before connecting her and Emily's lips. The raven-haired girl can't be happier if she tried. The girl attached to her lips at this moment is the best thing that's ever walked, ran, swam or biked into her life. She just can't get enough of her, especially in this small but romantic train car. The shade is pulled down and the door locked as the train rattles on, drowning out the heavy sighs and slight moans starting to be emitted from the pair. Emily pulls the brunette closer as the heat between them begins to turn the small cozy compartment into a sauna. She's been wanting to do this since the moment she opened her front door to see Paige standing there. Seeing Paige in a tux is indescribable. The brunette is gorgeous, sexy and variety of other adjectives Emily is too enamored to think of. All she knows is that Paige isn't making it off this train in the same pristine condition as she is now._

_Emily tangles her hand in the soft hair at the base of Paige's neck as she gently begins to guide Paige backwards to the leather bench stretching lengthwise across the compartment. With their lips still connected, she motions for Paige to sit down with a gentle push. Paige breaks their kiss for a second to give Emily a smirk. She's not sure where this is going but she's liking it so far. Without warning, Emily straddles her hips with a knee on either side of her before crashing their lips together again. Paige's arousal sky-rockets as Emily pushes her head back so that plump lips can connect with her neck._

_"Oh… Em…" She whines out as Emily's hands begin to massage her breasts through her shirt. Paige wasn't planning on this happening when she put on her tux earlier but she can't say she is disappointed that it is happening at this moment. Full lips connect with hers again as hands roam her sides and around her waist. Her own hands occupy themselves by running over the tight leather covering Emily's firm ass. Paige can't help but think that she may literally be on cloud nine. Emily Fields is on top of her in a silver leather costume kissing her and unbuttoning her pants… wait… Paige grabs Emily's hands when she realizes what the dark-haired girl is intending to do. She can't say anything. She's rendered speechless by dark orbs staring deeply into her eyes with so much passion and desire that it's intoxicating. Nevertheless, she tries her best to communicate to Emily her hesitation of making love in a train compartment among their classmates. Emily however has other ideas. She pushes Paige's arms above the girls head and leans into Paige's neck right below her ear._

_"Let me love you," she whispers. Paige is now powerless. She nods her slightly against the side of Emily's head, taking in the smell of Emily's hair. With that she relaxes and lets Emily take over knowing that when Emily wants to show the love she has for her, there is no stopping the girl. Feeling Paige relent, Emily smiles and moves her hands back to the brunette's waist and slowly resumes unbuttoning the tight tuxedo pants below her. When they are loose, she eases her way off Paige's lap, sliding the girl's pants down with her making sure to drag her fingernails down the toned flesh of the brunette's thighs. As she tosses the garment to the side, Emily places a soft lingering kiss to the inside of Paige's thigh, reveling in the deep, labored breath she earns. Emily treasures these moments. These moments when Paige gives into her every movement and lets her pour out her soul in every touch. Paige likes to be in charge; to top her, but on the occasion when Emily takes over, she gives every ounce of love and passion she can muster into every nip, peck, kiss, caress and lick. She loves the brunette she's currently making squirm with every millimeter of her heart and she needs Paige to know that._

_Black silk panties are all that separate Emily from her prize and she can wait no longer. She kisses her way up Paige's thigh as the brunette tangles her hands in raven hair. Paige looks down just in time to connect eyes with Emily as the raven-haired girl clenches the hem of her panties between perfect teeth; soft, sensitive skin being grazed in the process._

_"Fuck, Emily please," Paige moans out. The look she sees in Emily's eyes cannot be sexier. They are darker than she's ever seen them and so full of lust and love that she almost can't tear her own away. She can't control the instinct to close them however, when sweet plump lips connect with her center, causing her to roll her head back against the cool soft leather behind her. "Emily," She moans out softly at the contact._

_The husky, satisfied tone to Paige's voice is music to Emily's ear as her tongue continues to pleasure her girlfriend in all the right ways. She knows what Paige likes and what will get her off quickly but Emily wants to take her time. She wants Paige to know she meant it when she said she couldn't believe the brunette was with her because she too is as much in awe of Paige as Paige is of her._

Emily's been watching Paige and Alex on and off all night, staring when she figured no one was looking. Every now and then, she and Paige will lock eyes over Alex's shoulder as the dancing pair spin on the floor causing Emily to think back to the moment they locked eyes in that train compartment. If she didn't have Stephanie and if Alex didn't make Paige so happy, Emily very well may have marched right over to the two girls on the dance floor and ripped Paige away.

Emily eventually notices the pair leave the dance floor and Paige head toward the kitchen, presumably to get more drinks. Now's her chance to figure out this Alex character. When she's half way across the room, Alex realizes that Emily's approaching her and she can tell that even though Emily shows all confidence, there's something she's trying to hide.

"Hi," the dark-haired girl says as she greets Alex. "I'm Emily." She extends her hand to the blonde girl who takes it to reciprocate the greeting.

"Alex," the blonde girl responds suspiciously, eyeing Emily as she tries to figure out what her game is.

"Yeah, I know, Paige has told me a lot about you," Emily lies. Paige hasn't told her anything about Alex. The only thing she knows is that they met in Philadelphia and had sex last weekend after their meeting at the club.

"I'm sure they were all good things," the girl says with a smile. 'Isn't that smug,' Emily thinks to herself. It wasn't 'all good things I hope', no she was sure it was all good things. This girl's self-confidence is astounding. Alex of course didn't mean it like that, in fact she is trying to be friendly but Emily isn't going to see it that way.

"Sure," the dark-haired girl responds. "Look, do you like her... Paige?" Emily says going straight to the point. The question earns a scoff in response only to be wiped away a second later when she looks up to see Emily's straight face.

"Wait... You're serious?" Alex asks as she studies the somewhat intimidating girl in front of her.

"Yes, of course I'm serious. Why wouldn't I be?" Emily is not amused that the blonde thinks she is playing around. She can feel her cheeks getting red as the jealousy and anger smolder inside her.

"Of course I like her. She's amazing," Alex states while staring into Emily's eyes. She is not going to be intimidated my Paige's ex, who must be an idiot for not choosing Paige. "I don't see how you could just let her go like you did..."

"It's not like that," Emily interrupts forcefully. 'Who the hell does she think she is?' She can feel her dislike for the girl in front of her intensify.

"Then what's it like?" Alex says, challenging Emily. "She told me what happened and if it was me, I sure as _hell_ wouldn't have let that amazing girl slip from my arms…again." Emily steps forward towards the girl, her face getting hot. She's angry at the girl but really she knows she's angry at herself. Alex is right. She let her go and now Paige is moving on. She's happy again, she should be happy again. Paige has found someone else and she knows in this instant that she needs to let Paige live her life just as the brunette is letting her live hers.

After being lost in her thoughts for a moment, she glances to the side to see Paige starting to walk towards them. She doesn't want to cause trouble for the poor soldier anymore so she turns to Alex once more.

"Look, just don't hurt her ok?"

"I wouldn't dream of it," Alex replies her eyes dead locked with Emily's. Without another word, the dark-haired girl turns and leaves walking in Paige's direction. She sees the girl stop to say something but she talks first.

"She's not good enough for you," she says. Her eyes are starting to get wet and she can feel her voice getting shaky. "But no one really is," she adds before walking by Paige not giving the girl a chance to say anything. 'Especially not me,' she mutters aloud to herself once she is out of earshot. She doesn't feel like she deserves Paige's love anymore. Maybe Alex was right, maybe Emily did let Paige slip out of her hands and now it's too late. Paige has moved on and their life together that they had always dreamed of is now just that: a lost dream. But, what Emily doesn't know is that the heart of the girl across the room is still in her hands; it had never left.


	19. Chapter 19

**-A Note: Hey Everybody! Sorry this took so long. If you've read this story before you will not recognize a word of this chapter because well it's brand new. I realized that my original chapter 19 involved a major time job and rushed the story way too much. After writing the story all the way through and going back to repost it, I realized I still have more in me that I could write inbetween chapter 18 and the original chapter 19. In that case there will be more new chapters coming before I finish up the story. **

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this next chapter! Thank you for the reviews, follows, favorites and views so far! I'm thrilled you all like my story. Please keep reading and commenting because I love hearing back from all of you! **

"My poor, poor babies. I'm so sorry you've been neglected like this." The light of the shed may be dim but it's bright enough to illuminate the condition of my rusty and somewhat dilapidated bikes. They look to be in worse condition than me on the day I was found five months ago. Both tires are flat on both of my bikes, the chains are rusted, the handle bars of my road bike are bent and the brakes of my mountain bike might as well not be there since they are literally falling off. I shake my head at the gritty feel of the dust transferring to my fingertips as I run my hand along one of the frames. This is going to take some work but I have a lot of time on my hands.

I don't know what made we want to walk into the shed, maybe it is the fact that I've been bored out of my skull the last two weeks. Now that its mid-November and the hype from Halloween has calmed down, everyone has gone back to work… except me. I don't really need the money, the Army will support me for the rest of my life because of my injuries, but I really need something to do. Right now, fixing up my bikes seem to be about as good a plan as any.

Picking one up, I carry it out of the dimness and into bright, early-afternoon light. I attempt to set it upside down, finding out very quickly that I have my work cut out for me. The handlebars are bent significantly enough to cause me to spend several minutes attempt to get the thing to magically stand up on its own. I sigh out at the pile of metal in front of me placing a hand on the front tire to spin it, my sigh growing exasperated when I find it barely moves.

"Well… Let's do this," I muse to myself and roll up the sleeves of my gray, long sleeve, softball shirt. I'm hoping I can at least find enough tools in the shed left over to at least get started. If my old tools are still there I'd be extremely surprised since Emily really doesn't know the difference between a screw driver and a hammer. Bless her beautiful, beautiful heart. I wonder if she ever did figure out how to change a tire. As suspected, very little of my tools are left but I find a wire-brush, a can of rust-removal fluid and wrench that just happens to be the right size for most of the part on the bike. I can at least get to cleaning it up.

Hours later and I'm still working on the front tire, the very first part I started with. I put the tire back on the fork and replace the once again shiny bolts. I tighten them and cross my fingers, hoping I didn't just waste two hours of my day. Closing my eyes, I take a hold of the wheel and spin it, my eyes shooting open in glee when the familiar hum of air whizzing through the spokes of a spinning tire registers in my ears. I squat down and watch the spokes blur in front of me, thrilled with the results of my elbow grease and determination. As I stare through the spinning wheel, I notice the slim figure of a dark-haired goddess approaching me. I sigh to myself slightly. It's not that I'm not happy to see her, I love every second I get to spend with Emily but it almost seems as if she's been going out of her way to see me as much as possible. This makes it even harder than it already is to get over her. Especially when she comes into my backyard looking like this. I swear the girl could look fantastic in a burlap sack. However, instead of a sack she's gliding across my backyard in a tight-fitting, pink, V-neck t-shirt that is covered by a black jacket. Her jeans are skin tight (as jeans should always be on Emily Fields) and her outfit is completed with a pair of black boots. As she continues to draw near, I do my best to shake off the dirty thoughts of the many things I want to do to her right now and instead go straight for the humor instinct. I lean over my bike like a mother protecting her child and with a smirk say, "Shhh… It's ok… I won't let her hurt you anymore." I look up just in time to see her roll her eyes and look down on me.

"Well I was going to compliment you, but now I don't think you deserve it," she retorts playfully with a smile. "I didn't do anything to your bikes."

"I know," I answer, standing up to level eyes with her, "and that's probably the issue. You've neglected my babies." We both laugh a little, happy to be bantering with each other again. I love hearing her laugh and seeing the way her face lights up when she does it and I can't get enough. Seeing her laugh like this, seeing her happy is seeing all I've ever wanted for Emily coming true. Even if I'm not with her for the rest of my life, I'm going to spend every moment trying to make moments like this happen.

"So, Em… What can I do for you on this fine afternoon?" I say with a smile, shoving my rag into the back pocket of my pants.

"Oh, I was just wondering, did I leave my jacket over here the other day when I was picking up the rest of my things? I can't seem to find it." I drop my head and smirk. She had indeed forgotten her jacket for the fourth time in a week. I was beginning to think it was on purpose. "What?" she asks playfully in regards to my actions.

"Nothing. You've just been quite forgetful lately is all." I watch intently as she drops her smile knowing she's been caught in the act. I can't wait to see how she's going to manage her way out of this one. I give her a knowing and playful smile, challenging her to try and talk her way out of this one.

"I guess… I've just had a lot going on with planning the wedding and all." Well that works. I drop my smile and mentally curse myself for thinking it had anything to do with me. Of course it wasn't. She has Stephanie and that is her future, not me. Emily jumped into full swing with her wedding plans after Halloween. I've been trying to push it out of my mind and change the subject when it comes up but it gets harder and harder to ignore with each passing week and the closer Emily and I once again become. I know I shouldn't let myself, she's engaged and I'm dating Alex, but I feel myself falling for Emily all over again. I try to stop the thoughts and focus on Alex, on maybe making things official with her and starting a chance at a new future, but it's hard to ignore my feelings for someone when that person is my soul mate. I wish I could walk away, move away, anything, but I need Emily in my life somehow, so I'm focusing on being a supportive friend. No matter how much I try though, talking about the wedding is still awkward. The voices in my head are screaming at me, yelling at me to spill out that this isn't right. That she should be with me that she belongs with me, but I keep quiet. I've already destroyed her life enough for one lifetime. We stay quiet for a long time, both of us still feeling too awkward to break the silence. Thankfully, we don't have to, when someone else doesn't it for us.

"Hey girls, what are you two doing back here?" Alex says as she appears from around the corner of the house. I'm caught unaware at seeing her thinking she's surprised me by showing up early for our date until I look down at my watch and realize she's right on time. My eyes go wide, knowing I lost track of time working on my bike.

"Oh shit. Alex, I'm sorry. I got distracted working on my bike. I'm so sorry I'm not ready." I apologize somewhat frantically. She giggles as she nears me and I feel my body relax some at the soft inviting noise.

"But then I would've missed seeing you with this cute little grease spot on your cheek," the green-eyed girl remarks as she reaches me. She runs her thumb along my jawline before pressing a soft lingering kiss to my lips. I can feel the blush creeping into my cheeks at the comment and the kiss as Alex pulls away from me to look into my eyes. "Hi"

"Hey you," I reply with a smile as I dip my head down. It's weird how someone besides Emily can make me feel this way. Of course, the feelings aren't as intense as with Emily, but it makes me hopeful to be able to feel _anything_ with someone else.

"Hi Emily, how are you?" the blonde asks, reminding me of the awkward feelings I had moments earlier. I look up to find Emily staring intently at the blonde, still not sure how she felt about the new person in my life. Yes we've worked things out after the club and Emily has accepted that Alex is a part of my life now but I'll be damned if I don't detect jealousy in the raven-haired girl every time Alex comes around.

"I'm fine," she answers before looking back to me. "I'm just going to grab my jacket and go. I forgot I have to go meet Stephanie in a few minutes." I give her a tight hug and thank her for stopping by before she makes her exit into the house.

"She really doesn't like me, does she?" Alex asks as we both stare after the retreating figure. My only answer is a shoulder shrug.

"Well, I like you," I say with a smile as I pull her towards me by the fabric of her shirt. I pull her flush against my body and connect our lips fully and deeply, very happy to see her and to have the tension between Emily and I gone for now.

"I am one lucky girl then," she mutters against my lips, causing me to smile. "Now, how about we go get you cleaned up so we can go on our date?" She gives me a mischievous grin and I know full well what she means by _we. _

A very long and hot (in every way possible) shower later and we are at the restaurant on our date. I can't keep my eyes off her as tells me about her week and giggles at my jokes. I'm very lucky to have Alex in my life at this point. She keeps me focused on the present, allowing me to escape from the hold Emily has on me, even if it's only on a night by night basis.

"I want to ask you something," she admits halfway through dinner, suddenly looking nervous. My breath catches in my throat as I suddenly feel as though bad news is coming my way. My eyes catch sight of her hands wringing on the tabletop and I reach out to grab her hands to steady them. I hear her release a breath and close her eyes to steady herself.

"Whatever it is Alex, its ok." She grabs my hand that's on top of hers and finally is able to look me in the eyes. I give her a tender smile to urge her on though I'm freaking out inside since I really have no idea why she is so nervous.

"Paige, I _really_ like you and I love every second we spend together…and well will you be my girlfriend… officially?" She peers up at me with her head slightly tilted and one eye closed as if she is bracing for the worst. It's adorable and I can't help but release a small giggle as I dip my head down, my cheeks flushing red. I squeeze her hand and look up to her before cupping her cheek with my free hand.

"Alex, yes… I'd love to be your girlfriend," I say, giving her a kiss. "Officially" She smiles one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen and I can't stop myself from returning it back to her with my own. I don't know what the future holds but maybe I really can have something special with someone besides Emily and maybe that someone is Alex.


	20. Chapter 20

**-A note: Hello everyone! Thank you all for being amazing! I can't believe the number of views. Over 20,000! It's literally insane and I never thought people would like this story so much! So thank you all so much for liking it! **

**Special shout out to Marmoreck: The last chapter and this one are additions to the original story so now that that is through the original chapter 19 will now be Chapter 21. So she still be working in the maintenance shop but its not for a living, it's more for her just to have something to do. If you haven't seen Lindsey Shaw in coveralls, working on a car from "10 Things I Hate About You" yet, then go look it up and you will understand why I put that in there because it's adorable and sexy. **

**SO like I said, this is another new chapter. That's why it took so long. It's not very long but I'm kinda proud of it. Especially the chapter right after the italics... This is the last new chapter for now. I will go back to simply editing what I already have so updates will hopefully come fast again.**

**Hope you all enjoy! **

Three weeks into November in Rosewood, Pennsylvania can have one big problem: ice. Despite the overly warm fall, the moment Paige McCullers finishes working on her bikes and is able to ride one, the temperature decides to drop low enough to make the freshly-fallen rain ice over, making biking a rather dangerous venture. Especially for someone who hasn't been on a bike in years. Yes riding a bike is just like, well riding a bike, but throw ice into the mix and for someone who had issues not crashing her bike in just plain rain alone, biking with ice on the ground is probably not a smart decision. Normally, whether or not she can ride a bike would not be a big deal because she would just go swimming but the pool is closed today for classes and she is in desperate need to blow of some steam. So the only other idea is to once again try running. This also turned out to be a bad idea.

Her damaged knee is proving to be a major hurdle as she runs down the familiar path through the dense woods. Her mind is racing with thoughts keeping her brain off of the shooting pain now running through the entirety of her leg. Dagger-like pain rips through her knees and down into her ankle. Paige has always been a stubborn person when it comes to testing the limits of her body. She isn't about to succumb to the pain when she needs her physical release, even if her leg feels as if it is being ripped to shreds. If she had been a good patient and gone to physical therapy like the doctors wanted, she probably would be severely scolded for not listening to her body but that's the furthest thought from her mind currently.

_"So we are going with the DJ instead of the live band, more variety that way."_

_"White or pink flowers? Maybe both?"_

_"Well, I like chocolate but Steph likes red velvet, so we aren't sure which one to go with."_

_"Well since I can't pick between the girls, we decided not to have people stand up with us."_

Is it possible for thoughts to hurt worse than the pain shooting repetitive fire through her leg with each agonizing stride? Whether it is or not, Paige is almost grateful for the physical pain ripping her mind away from the thoughts twisting daggers through her heart. Despite, being happy with Alex, nothing seems to be able to ease the hurt of losing Emily in plain sight. She's still there. Paige can see her. She can gaze upon the goddess-like figure and get lost in deep, dark beautiful orbs of light that can stare into the deepest parts of her soul. But, the smooth, coffee-colored glory of Emily's bare chest is lost from her sight. Paige can hear her. She can drink in the wonderfully, sweet melody of Emily's velvet voice but the sweet husk in the beauty's voice as she utters whisperings of love and lust in a passionate haste, is forbidden from entering her ears. Paige can feel her. She can ease her soul into the warmth of Emily's friendly embrace but the magnetizing, engulfing heat of Emily's unclothed body fitting into hers is gone as a puzzle piece in carpet. Yes, Paige is grateful for the ache in her leg.

Lost in her agony, Paige doesn't see the short-haired brunette quickly approaching to her left until it is almost too late. She lurches to the right in an effort to avoid a collision, landing with all her weight and forward motion onto her right leg: her damaged leg. She lets out a sharp cry as all the emotional pain is concentrated into fueling the burn in her leg and falls to the ground in complete agony. Paige lets silent profanities fly violently in her mind, mentally cursing herself for being stupid enough to go running in her vulnerable and damaged state. Running really was a horrible idea after all. The brunette still standing, immediately rushes to Paige's side, completely distraught.

"Fuck! Paige. I'm so sorry," the short-haired girl offers as she kneels down to attend to Paige.

"It's… FUCK… fine…. Stephanie… SHIT," the girl manages to say through gritted teeth but Stephanie's expression stays concerned and worried. "It's not from… ahhhh… you. It's my…fuckkkk… bad leg." Her face is twisted in pain, her brain still cursing her stubborn will. A deep exasperated groan, that no one ever wants to hear or utter, escapes her lips.

"Have you been doing physical therapy? What did they order you, eight months? It doesn't look like you're getting much better. Not as fast as you should anyway." The short-haired girl fires of each question like bullets out of a semi-automatic, her eyes locked on the leg Paige holds clutched tight to her chest. It makes Paige slightly uncomfortable until she remembers the important fact that Stephanie does this for a living. She _is _a physical therapist. The kneeling girl's questions are answered with one defeated look. "Paige…" she answers with a look of slight disappointment as her head tilts to the side. "… You really should go. You had to have probably dislocated it a few times and probably damaged some tendons, maybe even had a fracture or two to get that limp and the scaring." She points to the bare knee still gingerly clutched to the brunette's chest. Paige glances towards her knee and knows in that instant that Stephanie is really good at her job. Paige hasn't been descript with all of her injuries to anyone. By sight alone and with limited exposure, Stephanie had been able to fairly accurately assess her injuries.

"You're good," the solider admits, releasing her grip. She earns a shoulder shrug and a 'yeah I know' smirk that flashes to concern when Paige winces at the effort of moving her leg.

"Speaking of dislocation…"

Paige again, assesses her knee to discover she had in fact dislocated her knee trying to dodge Stephanie. The soldier's face twists at the thought of realigning her knee once again. She sighs in defeat.

"I can help," the short-haired girl offers gingerly. She still isn't sure how Paige feels about her or even how she feels about Paige but she does like the girl enough to help her out since she can. The muscular woman can only nod, as if just speaking the words would cause the pain to multiply.

"This might hurt a little," Stephanie says as she positions herself and places her hands lightly on Paige's knee.

"I know. I had to do it a couple times myself," Paige says as she begins to brace herself for the pain about to ensue.

"Yourself? As in, you put your knee back into place on your own?" Stephanie is dumbfounded. She can't imagine the pain tolerance and self-control someone has to possess in order to do that. The one time someone had to do it to her, she nearly passed out from the shear amount of pain. She found herself developing an admiration for the soldier's strength.

"Well it definitely wasn't the terrorists," Paige replies matter-of-factly, looking down at the girl still kneeling before her with an eyebrow raise.

"Fair enough" With those two simple words, Paige registers the movement of Stephanie's hands before she can once again brace herself. White spots spread across her eyes as the pain rips through her knee as if it had been scorched with a branding iron. Paige's scream is followed by what can only be described as a low, angry growl. She can hear her teeth grinding together into her ears as she attempts to deal with the pain when the soft weight of a supportive hand is placed on her shoulder. "Solider… I think I owe you a beer," the physical therapist says. Paige can only nod her acceptance with her eyes closed tightly shut.

Back at Stephanie and Emily's house, Paige is nursing her second well deserved beer as the short-haired girl listens to her war stories. It's refreshing to Paige to be able to open up to someone. With Stephanie, she didn't feel the need to protect her from the gory details. The woman pops limbs back into sockets for a living among other things probably more disgusting; she could handle Paige's horrors to at least an extent. Stephanie also wasn't going to pity her. Yes, she may feel sorry for the girl with the tattered body but she also sees and admires the strength of the girl's will to survive. Stephanie for one, is surprised. She knew Paige was special. You must be special for Emily Fields to have loved you so deeply but now she can see why. The woman sitting in front of her now has more resolve and determination then a statue fighting to stay standing in a hurricane. Something told Stephanie, that if that were the case, the hurricane would surrender first. She didn't know if Paige had always been like this or if she had grown from each obstacle, bully and force of nature throw into her face but whatever the cause, Paige McCullers, she's certain, is the very definition of strength.

"You, my friend, are one tough bitch," the short-haired girl says with a laugh. "And by bitch, I mean that in the best way possible."

"Bitches get stuff done," Paige replies with a smile, shrugging her shoulders. She picks up her bottle and leans it towards Stephanie who returns the gesture, clinking the bottles together. They smile at each other knowing they are thinking the same thing without a need to express it verbally. They have discovered a new-found respect for each other; a respect that could very well be the beginning of a beautiful friendship…. Maybe.


	21. Chapter 21

**-A Note: I told you updates would come faster! Here is Chapter 21. Fair warning: this is a super angsty chapter with mucho Paily Feels. I really hope you all enjoy. Please continue to leave me reviews, I really do appreciate each and every one of them! **

**Happy Reading!**

I must admit: as my doomed existence played out at the beginning of 2014, I honestly was growing more and more skeptical that I would be alive to see 2015. But, here I am with Christmas come and gone as well as the beginning of a new year, which happened to be only a few days ago. I ended up spending both with Alex in Philadelphia which I was more than happy to, considering I really did not care to see Emily and Stephanie ring in the New Year by making out. Christmas was quaint. We spent the day cuddled up together in blankets watching old Christmas movies after opening presents in the morning. She had gotten me a new specialized tool kit to fix my other bikes practically falling apart in the shed. I love the gift. I've been using it to continue working on my bikes during my free time to get it ready for spring. For Alex, I got her a small necklace with a silver camera charm. It reminded me of her plus she said she loved it so I guess it all works out.

I finally found a job to pass the time, Stephanie had put in a good word for me with her friend Tom who owned a small car shop in town and needed help. I don't need the money but I was getting hideously bored during the day when everyone else was at work. I had some experience working with machinery from being in the Army and I enjoy it enough to take the job. It's not much but its physical and keeps me busy so I've been working here for about a month now.

I'm alone in the shop today, which I don't mind. It's peaceful. A light snow is falling outside the large transparent bay doors and the only sounds are the soft blow of the heater and the clinking of my tools. It's right after closing time and I don't have to be anywhere today so I decide to stay late and change the oil on one of the cars. I'm under the car about to drain the oil when I hear the bell ring signaling that someone has entered the office. I sigh and drop my hands down, sliding out from under the car. I must have forgotten to lock the door and change the sign again. I take the rag out of the back pocket of my jumpsuit and attempt to wipe the grease off my hands as I walk into the office. I'm still focused on my hands when I begin to tell the customer that we are closed.

"I'm sorry, we're closed for the...," I pause when I look up and am caught off guard by the most beautiful eyes staring back at me. "...Emily, hey. What are you doing here?" I give her a smile as I am pleasantly surprised to see her but I notice she seems nervous about something.

"Can I ask you a favor?" She says with a slight grin and pleading eyes.

"Uh sure," I answer raising my eyebrow as I throw the rag on the counter and lean forward on it with both arms straight out. She pauses and watches my face. The look on hers makes me think I'm not going to like this request. She gathers herself with a slight pause and a deep breath, her shoulders physically rising with her chest.

"Look Paige, I know this whole wedding business is hard for you but I really need your help." Yup, I already am not liking where this is going. Letting out a short sigh, I bend my elbow quickly before straightening them again to signal to her that I'm not sure I can help her with this. "Please? I really need a friend for this," she pleads, biting her lip. I cave, of course, because it's Emily and I'm helpless to her. I stand back up completely and square my shoulders, picking up the rag.

"Ok, fine. I'll go… but you owe me dinner," I tease, pointing at her with my gray covered hand.

"Awesome thank you Paige! I didn't know what I was going to do when everyone else told me they were busy," she teases back with a smile causing me to throw my greasy rag at her in response.

"Oh, Shut up."

About an hour later, I find myself standing outside of a bridal shop. A Bridal _Shoppe_ to be exact, which I'm pretty positive may be a thousand times worse. Although, I don't really know because I've never been in either. When she told me this errand was in concern of the wedding, I knew I was not going to like it but I really had no clue it would be this_. _

"You have got to be kidding me," I say looking up at the sign, before rolling my head back and to the side to show the dark-haired girl beside me that I am not amused.

"Come on, McCullers, it won't be that bad. Pleaseeee," she says with a cute pout, putting both hands on my arm above my elbow, tugging a little as if she was a child in desperate want of ice cream. I sigh out loudly as I am the parent who is wrapped around her daughter's finger. I really am powerless against her.

"You owe me big Fields." I comment as I step forward into the shop ahead of her. The sooner we get this over with the better. Even with my back is to her, I know the look she must have on her face, it's that little smile out the corner of her mouth that she does whenever she wins at something. I look around the shop when I walk in and almost gag at the shear amount of lace and puffy sleeves. I turn around on my heels to walk past Emily and out the door, when she grabs my elbow and pulls me back to her side, keeping her eyes facing forward through the whole thing. When I'm back at her side and turned around, she links her arm with mine and holds it tight against her side so I don't escape again. I look down briefly at our linked arms and remember all the times before that we would walk together linked like this. I always liked it better than holding hands because it meant she was closer to me; close enough for me to feel her familiar and comforting warmth radiating off her body. I look back up a second later giving Emily a side glance to catch her eye. Smiles erupt on both of our faces at the silliness of the whole scene that just happened. We both start to giggle when the salesperson walks out causing us to drop our arms fairly quickly. I clear my throat to stop my giggling as I look down to try and clear the goofy smile from my face.

"Emily, good to see you again!" The lady says pulling Emily into a hug when she reaches her. "And who is this? The lovely other bride?" My grin quickly disappears as the comment hits me like the shockwaves of an exploding bomb; each word stabbing me deeply in the heart and twisting the blade.

"No, madam, I'm Paige, Emily's… uhhh… friend," I say before Emily can utter a word. I can't hear her say I'm just a friend, that I'm not her fiancé. It would just twist the knife even further and deeper into my already broken heart. I know I'm just a friend, I know that is the cold, hard truth in this case but I just can't bear to hear her say those words. 'What am I doing here?' I think to myself. Oh right, it's Emily. I'd do anything for her.

"Oh well, it's nice to meet you Paige," the older woman remarks before turning back to Emily. "You're here to try on your dress yes?" Emily nods in response with a grin. The lady motions for her to follow us and we walk past a curtain into the back room. It's all so... White; as white a sterile hospital or undisturbed, freshly-fallen snow.

Emily and the lady disappear behind another curtain that acts as a changing room, leaving me sitting on a wooden bench with white, rather uncomfortable cushions outside. I can't help my nervous fidgeting. I know Emily is changing into her dress on the other side of that curtain; her _wedding_ dress. Her wedding dress she will wear to get married to Stephanie. Would she have picked the same dress to marry _me_ in? I feel my heart weigh knowing I will never know the answer to that question.

I hear the curtain pull back and it causes me to look up. When I do, my breath catches in my throat and I am awestruck at the sight before me. 'WOW' is my thought but I can't speak. She's gorgeous. The dress is perfect. It fits slim to her body, showing off every curve ending loosely around her feet and barely touching the floor. The top hem follows the curve of her breasts dipping down to show a modest amount of cleavage. The straps are thicker and cover the joints of her shoulders giving full view of her collar bones and the perfect curve of her neck into her shoulders. It's one of her more sensitive sweet spots I was so happy to have found long ago. I feel a deep want surge within me begging me to go put my lips to the perfect skin laying bare there to elicit the soft, gentle moan it always earns. I'm speechless at her beauty in this moment. I can't move.

"Paige?" Emily says trying to pull an emotion or comment from me. "Please say something... Is it bad?" I shake my head immediately. Bad? BAD? Are you kidding me? I slowly get up and walk over to her, grabbing both of her hands before looking down at the hem of her dress and working my way up to her eyes.

"It's stunning," I say barely above a whisper. "You're… stunning." The corners of her mouth start to turn upwards into a shy smile.

"Thank you," she says quietly, looking down. Is that blush on her cheeks? Adorable.

"Now, let me see the back," I say lifting an arm up to spin her around. Bad idea. The back is open, accentuating the gently lines of her torso, ending right below the small of her back. Oh how badly I want to run my hand along those perfect lines. To feel her sensitive skin. To feel her body shudder under the soft, loving feel of my touch. "Wow, Emily. It's perfect," I say instead. She turns around again to face me and grabs my hands again.

"Thank you," she barely whispers, "for coming. It really means so much."

"Of course. Anything for you."

After we're done at the bridal shop, Emily keeps good on her word and takes me out to dinner. We talk about our day and how the other's significant other is doing, though I don't really care. We're about halfway through dinner when she pulls a small box out of her bag, wrapped up with Christmas paper and a bow, and hands it across the table to me.

"Em, you didn't have to get me anything."

"I wanted to," she says shaking the box a little, urging me to take it. "Sorry it's late." I take the beautifully wrapped box hesitantly and open it. Inside is a beautifully framed picture of us with my parents taken long ago back in high school. We all are standing out back at my parents' house next to my father's grill. High-school me has her arm around Emily, as we smile at my mother giving my father a kiss on the cheek as he attends to the grill. Spencer and Hanna can be seen sitting next to the pool in the background obviously arguing about something but we actually all look so happy. I don't have many pictures of my parents, they both hated their photos being taken but this one was a candid; Aria probably took it when we were not paying attention. They died two months after this moment. I can feel the tears starting to form as I place a finger on the picture of my mother. I miss them more than I can say.

"Thank you Em," I choke out. "This is amazing. I didn't even know this picture existed."

"I was going through Aria's albums one night and found it. I figured you might want it because of your parents." I smile at her and nod before thanking her again. It's a simple picture but it means so much. I don't tell her I have a gift for her as well since I want to give it to her later when I can slip away before she opens it.

After dinner, we are walking back to the auto shop to get our cars that we left there since everything was so close. We laugh and joke with each other the whole way. I missed our time together, our friendship. This is the longest we've been able to hang out alone together and I was loving every minute of it.

"No you're the one that scared Mrs. Johnson's cat and I'm the one that had to spend all night looking for her because you had a chemistry test the next day!" I laugh out. "I almost fell asleep in formation at ROTC because I hadn't gone to bed yet."

We're about a block from the shop when we hear a loud bang. A car backfired, but my brain doesn't register it as such, it registers it as an IED.

_The Humvee rocks and is thrown to its side, tossing me against the wall of the vehicle. I register the engine setting ablaze and the heat scorching my skin. My body protests my movements as I try to escape but my eye catches sight of something shiny: a ring. The ring is attached to a woman. A dark-haired beauty, I'm in love with and I will do anything to save her, even if my body is so broken I can barely move. _

I immediately pull Emily around a corner and into an alley, pushing her to the ground and covering her with my body to protect her from the subsequent gunfire that obviously never comes. When my brain realizes what happened, I roll over and put my back against the wall sitting next to Emily who has a terrified look on her face. My heart is racing, adrenaline running through me, my breathing heavy and ragged. I'm on edge. This has never happened to me before, I'd only ever had the dreams. I don't know if it's because I feel a need to protect Emily or the association of the memories of Emily with the sound of explosions that triggered it. Either way, I can't calm my heart rate. I'm embarrassed and scared. I can only hope this doesn't keep happening. I'm still internally freaking out, mentally still in a burning Humvee, when I feel a soft, calming, magnetic touch on my shoulder. She doesn't have to say anything, just having her touch on my shoulder helps bring me back. When I return back to the present, I turn to look at her with my face twisted in fear. She pulls me in and holds me close, allowing my heart to calm itself even further. She strokes my hair and holds me tight until I can finally breathe again. When I regain my composure, I look up into her eyes finding they are full of concern.

"That's how you saved me Emily," I say. "That's how you got me through those three and a half years of… of torture." It's the first time I've ever admitted to her even slightly how bad things were for me. Admitting it to Emily meant it was real and I did not want to live with the fact that I had been tortured for three and a half long and painful years of my life. "Thinking of you always calmed me," I tell her trying to reassure her that I'm ok. "You were... you _are_ my angel." She doesn't say anything. She just nods her head and pulls me into another tight embrace before standing up and helping me to my feet. We walk back to the car in silence both still stunned at what just happened. It doesn't take long for us to reach the parking lot after that. We stand in front of each other nervously for a few seconds before saying goodbye. It reminds me of our first real kiss, not the stolen one in the car, but in the parking lot of the remote bar on the edge of nowhere that I had found online, except this time there's no kissing.

"Thank you," I say looking into her eyes, "for just now and for all the memories I had to keep me alive." She goes to say something but I stop her. "You don't have to say anything Em, I just wanted you to know." I then reach into my pocket to pull out a small box and hand it to her.

"Paige..."

"It's not what you think," I say, knowing she thinks it's some sort of fancy jewelry. "Just open it when you get home ok?" She nods but looks confused as to why she can't open it now. She obliges, however, and places it in her bag. "Bye Emily," I say giving her a kiss on the cheek and to me it's not just goodnight. Maybe I'm finally able to let her go; to actually let her live her life like I promised myself that I would. Maybe, I'm finally letting her go, not in my heart, I can never stop loving her, but I'm letting her go enough to no longer interfere with her life. "I'll see you soon." With that I turn around and head to my truck to go home for the night. It's been one hell of a day.


	22. Chapter 22

**-A Note: I see some of you are starting to get worried... don't worry. You'll like the ending. It's going to get more angsty before it gets better though so hope you enjoy that! **

**Thanks again for reading and reviewing you guys! I love the feedback!**

Emily can't seem to get home fast enough to open the small black box, burning a hole in the bag sitting in the passenger's seat. She wanted to open it right away but she had promised Paige that she would wait until she got home. Her head races with thoughts of what the small box could hold. Paige always gives the most thoughtful and meaningful gifts to her so it really could be just about anything. Her first thought was that it was jewelry but Paige basically said it wasn't so what else do you put in a jewelry gift box? She pulls onto her street and can see that Paige made it home, her truck is there. When she had left, Emily had to stand in the parking lot for several minutes just to sort through all that had happened in the previous several hours so it's no wonder Paige made it home before her. She was worried about the solider though, especially after the incident with the car back firing. If she hadn't been completely terrified at the time, it would have been hot that Paige was trying to protect her like that. But, she wondered if this sort of thing has been happening to Paige a lot. Has she been blind to Paige's on going struggles?

She finally gets into her driveway with thoughts of Paige on her mind until she sees that Stephanie is home. Instead of opening the gift in front of her fiancé, she doesn't even bother getting out of the car before digging in her bag and pulling out the small black box. She looks at it for a second and sighs before slowly opening the lid, inhaling sharply at the gift before her. After a minute has passed, she slowly grazes the familiar twisted metal with her finger like she always did twice a year for the last four years, as if it's instinct. This time though it was different, Paige is alive and she, in her own way, had helped saved her. This gift would always remind her of that. Picking up the tag, she runs her finger down the newly shaped edges, tracing out the angel Paige had cut one of her tags into as tears flow down her cheeks.

It takes her several minutes to get out of the car. She didn't want Stephanie to see her tears and ask questions. When she walks in the house, she finds Stephanie sitting in the living room with several books of samples trying to decide on the flowers to get.

"Hey beautiful!" Stephanie says when she sees Emily walk in." I was just looking at these flower things... Did you see any you liked earlier...? Oh how did the fitting go?" Stephanie was hyped up, her brain running at a million miles an hour between work and planning the wedding. She can't believe that she would be married to Emily in a month; that Emily had chosen her. The excitement of her fiancé caused a smile to creep onto Emily's face; she thought it was adorable. She could tell that Stephanie had gone straight to wedding planning the moment she had walked through the door. The sleeves of her light blue shirt were messily rolled up to the elbows and the shirt was unbuttoned enough to see the top hem of the tank top underneath. She hadn't even taken time to cast off her shoes. Emily steps over the coat and messenger bag strewn on the floor of the hallway to approach her.

"It went well," Emily says before giving Stephanie a quick peck on the lips. "It's all set, fits great. How was your day?" She settles in next to Stephanie with a small space in between them as the short-haired girl continues to stare at magazines and brochures. Her forehead is wrinkled in thought and concentration, bringing a smile to Emily's face. She looks so cute when she concentrates.

"So much better now that I'm with you," Stephanie says looking up at Emily with a loving grin, leaning her head onto her clasped hands. Emily can see the love and passion in the girl's eyes giving her no doubt that she has this girl's heart whereas she has no idea where she stands with Paige. Maybe their romantic relationship is over after all. Maybe four years really is too much time to get over. Paige had moved on. She is happy with Alex and Emily can't help but think it should maybe stay that way, as hard as that may be to accept. She really does love Stephanie though, who also makes her very happy.

"Well, I'm glad I can brighten your day," Emily says with a grin, leaning in to kiss the girl next to who takes her face in her hands and kisses her back passionately.

"I love you," Stephanie says, pulling back to look at Emily. "I can't believe we're going to be married in month." Emily smiles at the glee she can see in the deep hazel eyes, staring into hers.

"I love you too," Emily responds and she does means it but her heart breaks at the same time knowing that she and Paige will only ever be friends. She waited too long to choose and now Paige is taken, which is the reason she had thrown herself full force into wedding plans since Halloween. "One more month and I'm all yours," she adds with a grin eliciting an even bigger smile from the girl in front of her. Stephanie can't speak, she has no words for how happy she is that Emily wants to be with her. She pulls the dark-haired girl close and gives her another passionate kiss. When the pull apart again, Emily closes the gap between her and Stephanie, cuddling into the girl's side contently, as they work together to finish putting final touches on their wedding.

The next three weeks fly by much faster than Emily had originally thought they would. She was beyond busy the entire time hardly getting to see her friends, especially Paige. They had bumped into each other a few times at the pool in the mornings but they had little time else to spend with each other. That is probably best for the both of them. Well, at least Emily figured it is better for her; she can focus on just being with Stephanie.

About three days before her wedding, Emily walks into the pool to prepare for morning practice hearing the light sound of small splashes in the pool. She walks onto the deck to see who it is fairly certain she has a good idea already. Even though she can't see her face, her suspicion is confirmed when she sees the figure of the girl easing effortlessly through the water. Her body is smooth and sleek and she glides effortless through the clear water of the dimly lit pool. The girl has gotten significantly better at swimming since being back home. Paige has spent a lot of time in the water, regaining her strength and speed. Swimming is in itself a therapy for both the mind and the body, so it's no wonder that Paige's limp seems to have finally started to slowly get better over the last several months. Looking at her fly through the water now, it would be hard to believe the girl powerfully gliding through the crisp, clear water had ever been as seriously damaged as Paige was. The only tell-tale sign being the dark scars cross-crossing her back, unable to be hid by her swim suit. Emily thought it made her look sexier; more intimidating and she can't help but stare. Even back in high school when they were rivals over lovers, she still marveled at the perfection and power of Paige's stroke.

Emily eventually sees the swimmer glide into the wall, finishing her lap. Knowing better than to sneak up on the soldier, she this time keeps her distance.

"Hey," she calls out causing the brunette in the water to turn around, giving Emily a tired smile.

"Hey you, how's the bride to be?" Paige calls back in yet another effort to remind herself that Emily is getting married in three days. The words leave a bitter after taste in her mouth. Paige's heart gets number as the days go on. She's days away from forever losing the love of her life; the only person she's ever truly loved. She can only take comfort in the fact that Emily is still her friend; her friend that she's unfortunately more in love with than ever. The problem however, is that each thinks the other has moved on for good not knowing the other has fallen even further back in love with the girl in front of them. They don't want to interfere in each other's new life. If you love someone, let them go right?

"Doing pretty good... Thanks," Emily says looking down nervously. "Um how are you?" She looks back up again, meeting Paige's eyes. They get lost for a moment, both of them remembering a time when things weren't so difficult, when they were in love and that was all that mattered. A time when they knew they could conquer the world, could defeat any obstacle, as long as they were together.

"Doing pretty good. Alex is coming in to be my date this weekend," the swimmer says feebly, trying to pass off her heartbreak as fatigue. The dark-haired girl doesn't say anything, instead she crosses her arms and drops her head again as she nods it. They can both feel the tension between them, thinking it's only coming from their side not knowing it radiates from both of them, filling the natatorium with magnetic energy.

"So you two are still doing pretty good then?" Emily asks looking up from her feet just in time to see Paige lift herself out of the pool, her back and shoulder muscles tensing enough to show each and every defined line. She continues to watch as the brunette grabs her towel, holding it up to her mouth.

_"Paige it looks like you've got some competition, Emily remembers she likes to win."_

_"Happy to have her back," Paige smiles into her towel. _

'Happy to have _you _back,' Emily thinks to herself as the memory plays in her head. She can't stop staring at Paige and thinking how far they've come from that moment. How they've change from two rival teammates to lovers and now unrequited loves.

"Yeah, I'd say we are," Paige replies covering her face to dry it off. "Are you all set for Saturday?" Paige really didn't want to know, it was all just small friendly talk as the pair did their best to not interrupt each other's new lives.

"Yeah, I am," Emily says with a satisfied smirk. "I'm really just glad it's almost all done so I can just relax and enjoy." Paige nods her head and holds the towel close suddenly feeling very cold with a desperate need to get away from Emily, as if the air in this place where so many memories of them are stored had suddenly turned to ice.

"I'm glad to hear it," the solider remarks with a sad smile. "Well I probably should go. I've got work." She looks down at her hands, dipping her head to keep herself from looking into Emily's eyes.

"Ok yeah, um see you Saturday then?"

"Yeah, I'll be there." Paige walks past her pausing for a moment at her side. As one hand grips the towel around her torso, the other cups Emily's cheek as she leans in to kiss the other lightly. It's so a light a kiss, Emily can barely feel it, but there is no mistaking the longing and passion being poured out from the girl's soft lips. "Congratulations, Em," Paige states quietly before squeezing her shoulder and walking towards the locker room. All Emily can do is turn around and watch as the broad, slouched shoulders of the girl she truly loves walks away.


	23. Chapter 23

**-A Note: Phew, this is a tough one. Ok so two chapters in a couple hours... Hope you guys like both. I know this is getting tough but I promise you, I will not be mean much longer, so hang in there with me ok? **

**I love you all for reading and reviewing! I'm going to bed now since I have to wake up way way too early tomorrow. Have a good night lovely people!**

My heart is continuously breaking into smaller and smaller pieces the closer it gets to the wedding. I didn't know it was even possible for a heart to break this much. Every time I'm sure the pieces can't get any smaller, sure enough another day goes by reminding me of how close I am to losing her forever and the pieces get surprisingly smaller. I don't know what else I can give or how much longer I can last and I know this isn't at all fair to Alex. I care for her of course, and having her near me makes me smile, but in the end I know I can't love her, not right now, and especially not like I love Emily. The adorable photographer deserves someone with a fully intact heart, ready and able to fully devote themselves to her instead of my broken and damaged one. I thought I'd be able to move on, I really did, but who knows how much time it will take now. I don't even know if I want to stay in this town anymore after tomorrow.

I'm sitting on the couch, with Alex's head in my lap, contemplating my relationships and my uncertain future. It's the night before the wedding and I can't stop thinking about Emily despite the girl in my lap making small circles on my palm with her forefinger. She's talking about something, probably her day, but the truth is, I don't hear a single word.

_I sit next to Emily on the deck of my pool on the night of our fifth anniversary. Everything is perfect, we've just moved back to Rosewood from being in California for college, I've moved into the house my parents left me and I'm now an officer in the United States Army. Emily is living with Hanna for the time being since her parents permanently moved to Texas after Emily left for college but I plan to try and change that tonight. I've made everything really special and surprised her. There's candles everywhere surrounding the deck, soft slow music playing, and we just finished eating a dinner I made especially for her. This moment reminds me of the kiss we shared on in this exact same place. The light around us is a mellow glow tinted blue by the light from the pool. She settles into my side as I wrap my arm around her, pulling her into me. I kiss the top of her head and she sighs, both of us more than content with the moment.___

_"How's living with Hanna," I ask, intermingling the fingers of my free hand with hers. I want to ask her to move in with me but the nerves are proving difficult to overcome._

_"I love her... You know I do, but I really just can't handle living with her anymore," she breathes out. The way she says it makes me giggle, causing a smile to return to her face._

_"So, uh, where are you going to live then?" I nervously play with her fingers, lacing and unlacing them with mine. She furrows her brow out of worry; obviously not sure of what she's going to do. This might be my chance._

_"Well, I don't really know that yet," she says, leaning her head back slightly to look at me. I lean down and give get a kiss on the forehead before moving to sit across from her. I then take both of her hands in mine and look her in the eyes with a smile._

_"I have an idea," I say trying to gauge her expression. She looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to finish. I bite my lip and sigh, dipping my head. When I look up again I see her beautiful brown eyes and know for sure that this will not be a wrong decision. "Why don't you move in with me...? Maybe... If you want to." She seems to think about it for a second before looking up and smiling at me._

_"Ok," she says enthusiastically slightly shaking my hands once up and down. My face lights up like a child's on Christmas morning._

_"Really?"_

_"Really. I love you Paige, of course I want to live with you." Neither of our smiles can be bigger in this moment. I pull her in for a long kiss, feeling like I can't get enough of her. She's the only person I've wanted to be with, the only girl I've ever truly loved and I can't wait to begin planning the rest of our lives together, starting with this first big step. _

"...take them down?" I eventually hear Alex ask. I snap back to my senses and look down at her.

"Hmm? What was that?"

"The pictures in the hallway, of you and Emily, do you think you should maybe take them down? Isn't it torturing you?" She asks it innocently and respectively. She's not trying to push me because she knows the history between Emily and me, but I think she cares enough to hate seeing me like this. I shrug and sigh, continuing to look down at her. She lifts her hand to my face, lightly touches my cheek and softly whispers, "I don't even know how you can be strong enough to go tomorrow. I don't know how anyone could." My eyes are sad as I look into hers. The only answer that I have is that I love Emily with all my heart and I always be there for her. I know in this moment what I need to do. Alex's been so amazing and caring to me, yet I know I can't give back what she's given to me. I rub the back of my fingers against her cheek softly as tears start to fight their way into my eyes. I don't want to hurt her but I will not lead her to believe she will eventually have me and my heart completely when I know it will never be full enough to give or mine to ever give to anyone else for that matter. Emily will has and will always have my heart, even if I no longer can even touch hers.

"Alex..." I whisper shakily and watch as her eyes quickly fill with concern. She sits up so she can see me better but I keep my eyes downcast afraid of what I'll see in her eyes when I say what I have to say.

"Paige, what's wrong?" She places her hand on my knee to gently let me know she's there for me. I feel the guilt rip through me. How can I do this to her? How can I break her heart? I know I'm going to hurt her, it's inevitable, but doing this now will cause so much less hurt then waiting till things are much more serious between us. Finally, I get up the courage to look her in the eyes even though I can feel the streams that the tears are starting to etch on my cheeks.

"I can't tell you how amazing you are, there really are no words," I begin to say, taking deep breaths as I go in an attempt to keep myself from crying harder. "You deserve someone just as amazing." The statement causes her face and shoulders to drop. She knows where my little speech is headed now.

"You _are_ amazing, Paige. You're the strongest and bravest person that I know. Anyone else in this situation would have run away a long time ago," she reassures me, grabbing my hand to hold it with both of hers. I move my other hand to the top of her hands clasped around mine and give her a weak smile.

"Thank you," I say, "but that's not what I mean. You deserve someone who can reciprocate everything that you're giving them and unfortunately, Alex that isn't me." I sigh out, watching her face grow sad but there's no sign of anger. I grip her hands tighter, trying to reassure her that she's done nothing wrong. "I care about you Alex, I really do, but you should be with someone who can give you their whole heart and mine is in pieces. You don't deserve that." The tears flow harder, I'm powerless to stop them and Alex's eyes are growing wet as well though she never takes her eyes off of mine throughout the entire conversation. When my little speech is over she wipes away the tears under my eyes and rests her hand on my cheek. I close my eyes at her touch, the guilt causing her touch to sting, but she waits for me to open my eyes before speaking.

"You deserve to be happy too you know?" Her voice is sincere and sad. I nod but we both know that only one person will ever make me truly happy.

"I'm so sorry Alex. I'm sorry if I led you on at all. That was never my intention." She nods at me, light tears beginning to fall from her face.

"I know," she answers plainly;" I know you care for me but I also know I can never be Emily." Her face shows more sadness and I feel even more horrible for doing this to her. She's taking this better than I thought she would, showing me than she's an even better person than I ever knew. I open my mouth to say more but she stops me. "It's ok Paige, I get it." I hunch my shoulders, following her with my eyes as she stands up. "I guess I should probably go then," she mutters quietly, almost to herself.

"Alex..." I stop her as she begins to turn around, "Thank you. Thank you for showing me how to laugh again. I really do wish you the best and I'm so sorry."

"Take care of yourself Paige," she says pulling me into a hug.

"You too." We release each other from our arms and she turns to leave pausing for a second at the door.

"Oh and Solider Girl... If you do ever find your heart back in one piece again and able to love someone else... You know where to find me." With those words and a small, sad grin, she gives me one last kiss on the cheek before heading out the door.

I've been sitting on the couch, staring at the wall for a couple of hours with a beer in hand. I've had the same one in my hand the whole time; I'm not really the kind to get drunk just because I'm not the happiest person at the time, it's more of just something to hold. The label is picked apart and shredded, the remains scattered on the couch cushion. The mess will annoy me later but right now, I really don't care. I just broke up with my girlfriend and Emily, _my Emily_, is getting married tomorrow. The mess on the couch doesn't compare to the mess of my life right now, so I, like I said: I don't care.

I'm enjoying the silence when I hear the soft familiar tinkering of someone trying to pick my lock. I roll my eyes, knowing full well Spencer Hastings is outside my door. I take a swig of my beer as I stand up and head to the back door. She's always had issues with that lock but I imagine they chose being discreet over ease so to not get themselves arrested. I open the door at the perfect moment causing Spencer to fall into the house landing face first onto the floor, though not hard enough to actually hurt her.

"In your sleep, Spencer..." I say looking down at her nonchalantly as I take another drink. The scene causes the other two girls to giggle erratically as Spencer pulls herself to her feet. "You do know I have a functioning doorbell right?"

"That..." Spencer states, as she stands up and straightens the collar of her shirt, "would be nowhere near as fun." She gives me a trademark, mischievous Hastings smile and I can't help but laugh as the other girls come inside.

"But, seriously, Paige... We're worried about you," Aria speaks up.

"We saw that Alex's car isn't here anymore even though it was when we left for the rehearsal," Hanna pipes in as she helps herself to a beer in my fridge. I drop my head as I think of the several hours previous to this moment.

"We broke up," I state, not wanting to delay the fact any longer. The girls' faces get serious and I can tell they are going to start asking questions and pitying me, which is the last thing I want right now. "It's ok, guys," I tell them, receiving a slightly tilted head and eyebrow raise from Spencer. "No really, she just isn't the one for me right now. I'm not ready to give my heart to someone else yet."

"Well, as long as you're ok, I'm ok," Spencer says as her face returns to normal. "But if you ever need me to kill someone, you just let me know." The comment and the companion out cry of "SPENCER!" from the other girls once again make me laugh. The girls offer to stay the night and keep me company but I politely decline. I'm going to need some nice quite time to myself if I'm going to get through tomorrow.

I wake up on February 5th, 2015 knowing that today is going to be one of the most painful days of my life even though I've been beaten senseless several times in the last four and a half years. Today is the day Emily marries someone else. Part of me doesn't even want to get out of bed but I know I'd never forgive myself if I didn't at least try for Emily. I wake up late, around one in the afternoon which turns out to be good seeing as that means I have less time to brood. I make sure I eat something before jumping in the shower and getting ready. I decide to wear black dress pants and a vest so I look good but not like I'm going to a business meeting instead of a wedding. I let my hair stay straight and fall around my shoulders mostly except for a small braid on one side that starts from my bangs and follows my hair back and to the side.

"Well McCullers..." I say to my pained reflection, "I guess it's time face the music." The drive to the border to cross into New Jersey, where the marriage will be legal, only takes about an hour and a half giving me more than enough time to dread every mile. Thankfully, because I woke up later than I had planned there's only about forty minutes until the ceremony so I won't have to wait long but it takes me all of about two seconds to decide I need to see her and go looking for her dressing room. I turn the corner and start walking down a hallway as I see the other girls and Emily's parents leave. That must be hers. I take a deep breath and urge my legs to move forward towards her door.

I'm really not positive as to whether or not my heart will come out of this room without the pieces of my heart breaking into even more ever tinier pieces but I need to talk to her before she's someone else's forever. She needs to know I love her, that I always will and I'll always be here for her. I find the door is slightly ajar, so I knock as I peak my head around the corner.

"Can I come in?"

"Paige," she half-whispers turning around to face me. She's absolutely beautiful. Her white dress accents her body better than I remember from the shop and gives off just the right amount of 'sexy' while still being beyond elegant. She looks like a movie star. I can hear my heart shattering again at the knowledge that I won't be the one she's walking towards dressed like that. So much for coming out of this with any resemblance of a heart...

"Please," she tells me with a gesture to come in, answering my question. Stepping into the room, I close the door behind me and slowly begin to walk towards her, our eyes locked together.

"You look amazing, Emily." She smiles at the comment but her eyes look sad, which I chalk up to nerves. I take her hands and pull her into a hug in order to calm her. "There's no need to be nervous, Em. That girl really loves you," I say trying to help her, to calm her, even though my heart screams at me to stop. I want to tell her to run, to come with me and never look back but I can't. All I've ever wanted is for her to be happy and if that's not with me, then... Well you know the saying. She doesn't say anything to my comment but hangs her head instead so I lift her chin gently to have her look into my eyes.

"She makes you happy yes? And you love her?" I only receive a nod in response. I can tell that if she were to speak she might break down so I know I need to leave before I cause her to. "Then that's all I need to know." I give her a lingering kiss on the forehead, trying to convey all of my emotions and support for her into one kiss. When I pull back, I look into her eyes for a moment.

"Does she make you happy too? Alex...does Alex make you happy?" She asks before I can break our eye contact. I breathe out heavily and look down at the ground, squaring my shoulders. I didn't want her to know. I didn't want to complicate things again but I can't lie to her.

"We broke up last night," I admit, looking back up at her. I see her face get sad again in response to my comments so I continue, "Hey, don't be sad, it's ok, she just wasn't the one for me." This time, she nods and gives me a small smile. "There's that smile," I add with a small grin of my own that grows into a full blown smile when her face lights up. I could stand here and stare into her eyes for hours and never be bored, but I know I need to take my leave.

"I should go," I say as I give her one last kiss to her cheek before turning to walk out. When I reach the door, I turn around to look at her again, causing her to look up at me.

"You were wrong, you know..." I say looking into her eyes. I don't want to ruin her big day but she needs to know. I can't let her go without her knowing. She looks at me imploringly; asking me to explain. "At the Halloween party, when you said no one was good enough for me... You were wrong." I shallow hard because I'm nearly choking on my own breathe as my eyes are beginning to grow wet for the hundredth time today. "You are... Emily, you're perfect. I only hope Stephanie truly knows how lucky she is." My words are starting to crack as my voice gets weak. I need to get out of here and fast. I give her a weak smile before saying one last thing, "Just promise me you'll be happy ok?"

"Ok," she says softly. "I promise." I think her eyes are starting to tear as well but I can't be positive. I dip my head before turning to walk out the door. Stepping into the hallway, I close the door behind me and lean my back against it so I can regain enough of my fragile composure to walk in there and watch the love of my life get married to someone else.


	24. Chapter 24

**-A Note: Thank you so very much for the influx of reviews! I love it so much! Here's the next chapter. :) It's short but sweet! I really hope you enjoy. **

Emily realizes the moment Paige disappears out the door that she is making the single greatest mistake of her life. Paige just said that she, Emily Fields, is perfect for her. That's all Emily needs to know Paige still loves her and that solider hadn't moved on with Alex, like Emily had thought. No, the new girl had just been an attempt to move on, a distraction... a substitute.

_Her eyes were cast downward when Emily confronts her._

_"Now it's your turn..." Paige glances up to look up at her, taken aback by the comment as Emily stands there her arms folded across herself as if to protect herself should the answer hurt. She glances down and to the side when she asks, "Shana?" Realizing what Emily's talking about, Paige closes her eyes knowing she may have accidentally hurt her girlfriend by not being completely truthful._

_"Em..."_

_"No, we can't be half honest," Emily states, cutting the girl off with a shake of her head, "I saw the way you two looked at each other." Paige looks at her, wide-eyed and opened mouthed, not sure how Emily could believe that girl still meant anything to her. She lets out a silent breath, dropping her shoulders and looking down._

_"We dated," she finally confesses, briefly looking up at Emily. "This summer while you were working in Haiti, three weeks." Emily shakes her head again, realizing the truth is finally out, a hint of jealousy running through her. Did they still have feelings for each other?_

_"If it was over, why would you lie about it," she questions bringing her gaze up to the girl in front of her._

_"Cause I didn't want to hurt you," Paige retorts immediately. "Emily, believe me..." She begins to walk towards her girlfriend, her entire body releasing the tension she had from holding on to this secret. "It's over," she continues, shrugging her shoulders, urging Emily to believe her but Emily had been looking down not sure if she believed what the girl was saying. When Paige is only a foot from her she looks up and into the girls eyes seeing nothing but sincerity and love. "She was a substitute at a time when I never thought I'd get the real thing." Emily's face is still twisted from being upset that the truth was being held from her. "I love YOU," Paige says stressing the last word before leaning in for a short, loving kiss trying to convey to Emily that she means every word. When Paige leans back and looks into Emily's eyes, she sees the girl's face lighten; a smile creeping onto her face before the dark-haired girl pulls her girlfriend in to kiss her again, happy and content the truth is out and that the girl she now holds in her arms loves her as well._

Emily can't believe how stupid she's been for waiting this long, for almost being without Paige for the rest of her life. She can't believe she's misread the signs and the connections between them. Why didn't she just pick her in the first place? Emily's never loved anyone more than she loves Paige. They were made for each other. Paige fits her like a glove. Her very soul is home when she's in the strong, loving arms of Paige McCullers. How did she ever think that a few years would change that? She doesn't know the answers to these questions, perhaps she never will, but she knows now that she will only ever be truly happy with Paige. Not wanting to wait a second more, Emily heads for the door to run after the love of her life, until she remembers the reason she's even here in the first place: There's another girl who loves her down the hall; another girl that Emily now has to go break up with minutes before they are supposed to get married. She slides her back down the door, her dress bunching around her ankles. This was not going to be easy. Breaking Stephanie's heart is exactly the reason why it took Emily so long to admit to herself how badly she is still in love with Paige. But, knowing that if she waits any longer Paige might walk out of the building and disappear forever this time gives Emily the strength to get up and walk down the hall to tell Stephanie she can't marry her.

There's only about fifteen minutes left until the ceremony is about to start when Emily slips into the room where Stephanie is getting ready. She looks beautiful in her all white suit with the shirt underneath a very light, almost unnoticeable, shade of pink. She looks nervous and excited as she paces back and forth across the room with a very large smile on her face. Emily feels horrible that she's about to break the girl's heart especially since it seems that's all she can do lately. She knows she doesn't deserve the love either of the girls has for her, especially after all she's put them through, but her heart has finally made up its mind and there's no fighting that.

"Steph?" Emily asks gently not wanting to scare the pacing girl who turns around at the sound of the voice.

"Emily, what are you doing here? We're not supposed to see each other for another fifteen minutes." Stephanie still wears a smile assuming her fiancé was just too excited and couldn't keep from seeing her but her face begins to drop when she realizes Emily looks troubled instead of happy. "What's wrong beautiful? She says reaching out to embrace the girl but Emily ducks out of the way of the girl's advancing arms. The short-haired girl's face wrinkles in confusion and hurt as she turns around to face Emily. Before she can ask her anything else, Emily speaks up.

"I'm so sorry Stephanie, I can't..." She begins choking on her words as Stephanie's face begins to show sadness and anger. The girl shakes her head and puts up her index finger telling Emily to stop.

"No… just… don't finish that sentence," she says firmly as she turns her back to Emily, closing her eyes and covering her mouth with her hand out of shock and hurt. "This can't be happening." The girl turns back to face Emily and sees the disappointment Emily has with herself in those deep brown eyes. "Why Emily? Why are you doing this right now, ten minutes before we are supposed to say 'I do'?" Walking over to the wall, she leans her back against it in utter defeat, before sliding down to sit on the floor with her head in her hands.

"Steph, I never meant to hurt you like this. That was never my plan," Emily responds, sitting down next to the defeated looking girl. She rests the back of her head against the wall behind her, rolling it to the side to look at Stephanie as the girl begins to shake with tears.

"I knew... I knew it was only a matter of time till you went back to her," Stephanie begins, laying her head back as well, revealing the tears rolling down her face. "She's your soul mate. She's your one..." She looks down as she plays with her fingers nervously. Stephanie can't help but curse herself for believing she had a chance. "I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe you'd actually choose me in the end." Guilt cuts through Emily at the thought that Stephanie believes any of this was her fault.

"No, look, you're amazing and I care about you so much," Emily states, lightly touching the other's hand. "I didn't know I could love again, I didn't know if I'd ever even _live_ again but then I found you..."

"But..." Stephanie interrupts opening her eyes and looking at Emily, "I'm not the one who has your heart."

"No," the dark haired girl confirms softly, shaking her head and look down, "I never got it back, it's always been hers." She looks back up at Stephanie as tears stream down both of their faces. Stephanie nods as she grabs Emily's hand with both of hers giving them a small squeeze.

"You better go after her then." Stephanie stands up and helps Emily to her feet. She can't be around Emily anymore, not right now; her heart is breaking. She also knows that there's no use standing between two hearts that finally made up their mind. She knows there's no hope for an object within the path of two hearts destined for each other. She looks into Emily's eyes one last time before cupping the girl's cheek with her hand. "Goodbye Emily," she says weakly before giving the dark-haired girl one last kiss on the forehead. She lets her lips linger there for only a second before pulling away but Emily can feel the soft tremble of the girl's lips and wetness of her cheeks. A second later the feeling is gone as Stephanie pulls away, walking past Emily and out the door.

Spencer sits in a chair in the large room where the ceremony will be held, balancing conflicting emotions. She's happy for the couple but she knows Paige is hurting badly. The solider had being sitting next to her for a while but when there were only a couple minutes left, she had gotten up and left, the whole situation being too much for her. If she were being honest, Spencer was surprised that Paige had even lasted that long, knowing that if she were in Paige's shoes she wouldn't have come at all.

Merely a couple moments after Paige leaves and only minutes before the ceremony is to begin, Spencer senses movement walking down the side of the room from the area where the two girls were getting ready. It's odd to her since they did not rehearse anyone walking that way; they were supposed to come from the back of the room. Her mouth drops open and her eyes widen as she takes in the sight of Stephanie heading out in the wrong direction, unbuttoning the top few buttons of her shirt and rolling up her sleeves, looking utterly defeated and worn. Spencer stands up slowly, her mouth opening further as she begins to realize what's happening. Not even a second later, as if on cue, Emily bounds into the room as fast as her dress and heels will allow her, causing the other two girls sitting next to Spencer to sit up in their chairs with extremely confused expressions. Spencer connects eyes with Emily who pauses for a second until Spencer points down the aisle to the main door which Paige took her leave out of a few minutes before. She knows it's not Stephanie that Emily is running after and she hopes with every fiber of her being that the girl isn't too late. It may have only been a couple minutes since Paige left, you can never predict how fast and how far a person can run away when they think their whole world is crumbling at their feet.


	25. Chapter 25

**-A Note: I know you all are really looking forward to this chapter so I wouldn't take it up with long notes. ;-) enjoy.**

I take a seat next to Spencer about twenty minutes before the ceremony starts. The hall is beautiful with white flowers everywhere and it causes my heart to further break. At this point, I didn't even know there's was anything left to break but I can still feel it. I can still feel the deep agonizing burn spawn from the physical tearing of the fragile pieces. The flowers, the dress, the ceremony, it should all be for us, Emily and I, not them. This should have been my day, _my _life, but instead my existence has turned into nothing but torture. I thought I had escaped but I was wrong. This was just more agony and I'm inflicting it upon myself. Why did come here? As if she knows how bad I'm hurting, I feel Spencer put a hand on my knee and squeeze my hand that is resting there.

"You ok?" I look at her but I can't answer. I don't know if I'm ok. I've made my peace with Emily but I'm still more than hurting inside. "To be honest, I didn't think you'd even come. I mean you were cutting it pretty close on time, huh?" I continue to look into her eyes, my own growing sadder by the second.

"I've been here for a little while," I mutter as I slouch into my chair, trying to hide in plain sight as Spencer releases her shoulders knowing what I just did.

"You went and saw her, didn't you?" I can only nod my head; if I speak I know I'll lose it in front of all the people continuing to file into the room.

"Paige...," she breathes out to me, "Why do that to yourself? Aren't you hurting enough already?" I shrug as I look at her over my shoulder, letting out a long, deep breath. I _am_ hurting enough already, more than enough but I had to see her.

"I just needed to see her Spence; just one more time before she's officially Stephanie's forever." She looks into my eyes with sad understanding, squeezing my hand again. There's nothing left to say. Word can't stop the inevitable.

As the minutes past by agonizingly slow, I grow more and more unnerved. I don't know how I'm going to handle this, if I even can handle this. Spencer's right, why _am_ I torturing myself like this? I've been here for Emily, I've supported her and I've loved her throughout this whole affair, so why am I inflicting more pain upon myself? Haven't I endured enough pain, both physically and mentally over the last few years?

With only about a couple minutes left before the ceremony, the hall is fairly full with both brides' friends and family. I make the decision that the fragile pieces of my heart aren't strong enough to get through this.

"I can't do this," I sigh out to Spencer as I stand up causing her to look up to me with sad eyes.

"Are you sure?" She knows it's for the best, we both do; but she knows me well enough to ask anyways. She knows I wouldn't have come if I didn't think I needed to, if I didn't think I could make it but it turns out I was wrong.

"I can't, Spence. Will you tell her I'm sorry...? Please?" My eyes are beginning to tear again, my voice weak and cracking.

"Of course," she says grabbing my hand again to give it yet another small squeeze. "Call us if you need anything." I acknowledge her offer with a nod as I am afraid my voice will betray my small amount of outward strength. Giving the other two girls seated next to her a short wave goodbye, I grab my coat and walk down the aisle to the doorway of the hall. Outside, the Earth looks as if it too is dressed up for the wedding with snow falling lightly, adding to the already existent blanket of white. I would find it beautiful in any other situation but at this moment I'm too sad, depressed and lost to see the beauty in the crisp clean landscape before me. Instead, I pull the collar of my coat up and begin to walk down the stairs of the building to head to my truck.

"NO! PAIGE, WAIT!" I hear a voice calling out when I reach the bottom. I recognize it immediately. I want to keep walking, to run and not stop. She wouldn't be able to keep up in that dress and heels, but my heart is so badly hers that I turn around slowly and look up meeting eyes with Emily on the top step. I don't know why she's there instead of walking down the aisle and I definitely don't understand why she keeps doing this to me. Hasn't my heart been destroyed enough? Is she really going to ask me to go back in there and watch her pledge her love to someone else?

"I'm sorry, Em. I just... I can't," I mutter out as she gets closer to me. I want to spew out more. I want her to know how hurt I am and how much I can't do this anymore but the words don't come. I dip my head down so she doesn't see my face growing red and flowing with tears. She's right in front of me now. I can feel the heat from her body. I can smell the sweet, soft smell of her perfume. I can see the hem of her white dress almost blending with the snow beneath it. It's killing me.

"I know," she says, her voice soft. "Neither can I." The words don't register in my mind for several seconds. When they do, I look up at her, full of hope, not sure if my mind is playing tricks on me. Does she mean what I think she means? Am I dreaming?

"I can't, because she's not you Paige. I love you. I love you more than anything. _You _make me happy. I'm so sorry it took me this long to remember that I don't want to ever be without you ever again." Her eyes are full of tears that match the ones dripping down my cheeks. Looking into those deep, dark eyes in this moment, I feel all the pieces of my heart pull back together in one instant as if someone snapped their fingers and my heart became whole again. She's choosing me. She wants ME. She loves ME. I don't blink, I don't breathe, I don't waste another second before grabbing behind her neck and pulling her into the sweetest and most passionate kiss we've ever shared and might ever share in our lifetime. I hold her tight, kissing her over and over again as she reciprocates every one, as lost in the moments as I am. The world could be crumbling to pieces around us and neither of us would even notice a tremor or a flake of ash. All that matters right now is that our hearts have finally found each other once again. I pull back enough to look her in the eyes, cupping her face with my hands.

"I love you," I say beaming at her through the tears. My heart is now bursting with so much love and happiness as a result of having my true love finally and truly back in my arms again.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you Paige." I wipe the tears under her eyes away with my thumbs not wanting to relinquish my hold on her. I'm never letting go of her again.

"None of that matters now," I say gazing deeply into her eyes. "We're here now... together." I pull her back into me, kissing her again long and slow, soaking in every second; every detail of this moment. Her lips taste perfect. Her hands on my back, holding me closer than I ever thought was possible, feel amazing. Those hands were made to fit there or anywhere on my body. Our lips were designed to fit together. I never want her to let go. I never want our hold on each other to end. I pull back just enough to rest our heads together; I want to stay as close to her as possible, for as long as possible. Our warm breaths intermingle with each other creating one almost transparent cloud against the cold February air. I close my eyes, blissful in the moment, my heart bursting with love.

"I love you, Paige. I_ really_ love you," she breathes out, leaning back to look into my eyes. There they are. Those words I've been longing to hear again for years. Emily Fields _loves _me.

"I love you too, Emily. I love you more than I'll ever be able to describe." The smile on my face grows with every second she's still in my arms.

"Now and forever?" She asks sweetly as she places a hand on my cheek, her smile growing as well. Her deep brown eyes are soft and warm as she gazes into mine. I can once again see the love she has for me in them and I can feel my heart soaring because of it.

"Now and forever, Emily," I answer, repeating my words from a long time ago. "I will always love you."


	26. Chapter 26

**-A Note: So I probably should have warned that the story wasn't over yet! I wouldn't leave you awesome people without giving you some actual Paily! So enjoy. After this I have two more chapters for you.**

**Special shoutout to the Guest posting as Pailylvr: First off, thanks for your review and I'm sorry you don't like my story. I don't know if you will ever get this message because well if it was me and I read a story I didn't like I would just stop reading it, but on the off chance you do read this, my one comment about Emily being shitty to Paige is this: Have you not watched any of Season 4 B? She's kind of a much bigger bitch to Paige. SO I understand you don't like my choice of of angst in this story and that's totally fine. I hope you find other stories that you absolutely love. This is just what was in my head at the time and how I thought my story would play out. I do appreciate you reading at all in the first place. Happy reading elsewhere!**

**I'm sorry it took so long as well. I've had some awesome stuff distracting me in all the best ways. :) But here it is Chapter 26:**

The two women standing in the lightly falling snow, engrossed in each other's smiles, are oblivious to the onlookers gathering on the top step. Their hearts are finally, once again in the same place. The love between them had always been there, strong and resilient to time and circumstance, waiting to be rediscovered once again. They can't stop looking into the other's eyes between the kisses they place on each other's lips, not wanting this wo,nderful reunion of their hearts to ever end. There is no need for words between the two blissful souls; their eyes, lips and embraces speak loud enough for both of them.

"Ow! Ow!" They hear a voice catcall from the steps, bringing their attention to the small crowd beaming down at them. Without breaking their grasp on each other, Paige and Emily turn their heads to look at them, pressing their cheeks together in the process. They hear another catcall, this time a loud whistle, coming from Hannah once again making both girls laugh.

Spencer smiles down upon the scene unfolding below, almost as excited as the two girls are that they are back together again. As much as she loves Stephanie for being there for and loving Emily, in her heart she knows no one will ever be as perfect for each other as Paige and Emily. The love they have for each other is the kind that the greatest love stories throughout history are based on; the kind of love people strive all their lives to find. To deny that kind of love is, to Spencer, not only impossible but also inconceivable. The two girls are just meant to be together for the rest of this lifetime and until the end of eternity. She can't help the beaming smile she has on her face as she watches her two best friends finally return to each other. Her heart aches however for Stephanie knowing she is heartbroken. The girl had left as soon as Spencer had seen her walking out the door. It's not right for anyone to be left at the alter, but in the end the heartbreak would have been much worse had Emily married the girl, only to inevitably return to Paige at some point in this lifetime.

The two girls wrapped in each other's arms cannot stop smiling and giggling at the reactions of their friends. Everything seems to be falling into place once again. They look into each other's eyes again, not noticing the two figures walking towards them.

"A-hem," a deep voice coughs out, catching the girls' attention. The moment they turn their heads to the pair now standing next to them, both girls' faces suddenly become serious at the sight of Emily's parents. Paige immediately releases her hold on Emily to face Captain Fields, standing as straight and as stiff as possible, eyes straight ahead, right hand to her eye in a perfect salute.

"Captain Fields, SIR," Paige says, greeting the officer.

"At ease, Lieutenant," he says returning the salute with a smile on his face. When Paige drops her hand and relaxes, a smiling returning back to her face, Wayne Fields approaches her to shake her hand with both of his. "It's a pleasure to see you again Paige. I can't tell you how relieved and happy I was to receive news that you were alive and finally back home." Emily can't help the warmth she feels growing in her heart from the interaction between her two soldiers. Her father had gained a new and deeper respect for Paige when she had joined ROTC and eventually accepted the call to serve her country. The two had a unique and special bond that brought them closer to each other whenever she and Paige would visit with her parents.

"Thank you, sir. It's great to be back," Paige replies before switching her gaze to the woman standing next to him. "Hello, Mrs. Fields," she greets, as the older woman's eyes become misty. Paige had become like a second daughter to Pam Fields, who had been completely distraught and saddened when she was told of Paige's death. To see the girl now standing in front of her again, Emily at her side was an indescribable feeling.

"Paige...," the women begins with a shaking voice, holding out her arms and beckoning for Paige to give her a hug. The brunette lets the women pull her into a tight hug, thrilled to see her again.

"It's so nice to see you again, ma'am," Paige states when she is able to escape from Pam's nearly suffocating grasp. The woman nods and goes to give her daughter a hug, too overwhelmed by the reunions to stop herself from crying harder. Emily rolls her eyes over her mom's shoulders mostly in a teasing manner; she knows how it feels to see Paige again. The exaggerated face causes Paige to giggle none-the-less. The dark-haired girl locks eyes with her dad, who now looks slightly upset, so she releases her hold from her mother to talk to him.

"We are going to have to do some talking about what we are going to about all this wedding stuff," he says, looking deeply into her eyes. She knows he's not happy that she waited until today, when everything was finalized, to call the wedding off. They would be losing a good amount of money. Emily drops her head slightly and opens her mouth to say something, but Wayne speaks up again before she can. "However, I'm sure you two girls would really like some time together alone, so I don't see any reason why that talk can't wait a day or two." He kisses the top of his daughter's head when she approaches him to pull him into a hug.

"Thank you Dad," she says softly giving him a small squeeze. Wayne never ceases to surprise his daughter. Every reaction she believes he will exhibit usually tends to be the opposite. He's a more than understanding and loving parent.

"Of course pumpkin," he replies before letting her go, "but before you leave, I need to talk to Lieutenant McCullers... Alone." Paige, who is talking to Spencer about the recently passed events, gasps when she hears her name accompanied by a firm hand on her shoulder. 'Uh oh,' she thinks to herself as the man pulls her off to the side. She throws a somewhat worried glance to Emily over her shoulder, receiving a shrug and a slight shake of the head from the girl who is completely confused as to what her father needs to talk to Paige about. Emily spends the next several minutes talking to the girls and her mother about what had happened in her dressing room as well as the conversation with Stephanie. She frequently glances over at the pair of soldiers talking together with their faces turned away from the group enough so that Spencer cannot read their lips for Emily. Both of the girls did not let it go unnoticed that Paige was the one who had sifted their position that way; they obviously did not want Emily to know what they were talking about at all.

"McCullers: 2, Hastings: 2," Spencer mutters under her breath, keeping score of how many times they have out smarted each other. Her comment earns an eye roll from Emily before the dark-haired girl sees the soldiers walking back towards her, satisfied smiles on both of their faces. Paige notices the questioning but cute face Emily is sporting when she reaches the girl pulling her into another hug and pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"Everything ok?" Emily asks, her eyebrows scrunched together as she holds Paige out from her by the girl's shoulders.

"Everything's great," she answers, "but I'm not going to tell you what we talked about." Emily groans and looks over Paige's shoulder to her dad who shakes his head, turning her down as well. "You'll find out eventually," Paige adds with a sly grin as she leans into Emily to give her a short peck on the lips, followed by a longer more intimate one when the first is not nearly enough.

"OK!" Hannah exclaims high-pitched and suddenly, startling everyone near them. "Can we release these two now before I seriously puke up rainbows and kittens from their cuteness?" Spencer looks at the blonde over her shoulder with a look that says, 'seriously? You're ridiculous' before shaking her head and resting her face in her palm. "What? It's true," Hannah retorts pointing at the cuddling girls.

A few minutes later, Paige and Emily are in the brunette's truck and on their way back to Rosewood. It didn't take them long to gather Emily's things and say goodbye since they wanted to get back ASAP; they had a lot of other types of catching up to do. The drive takes every ounce of will power Paige has to make sure she keeps her eyes on the road and off of the dark-haired, dark-eyed (and growing darker by the millisecond) goddess sitting in her passenger seat. Emily on the other hand can't take her eyes off of Paige as she sits almost sideways in the seat with the biggest smile on her face.

"You are going to cause us to crash," Paige teases, eyes forward, as she continues to feel Emily's eyes on her.

"Me?" She fires back, putting her hand up to her chest, faking innocence, "I...am not the one driving." The grin on her face is mischievous and flirty.

"I'm still blaming you," Paige remarks back, "distracting the driver." She chances a short glance at Emily to give her a smile before turning back to the road.

"I am doing no such thing McCullers! I am just sitting here minding my own business, how can I possibly be distracting you?"

"You know _exactly_ how you are distracting me," Paige says, her voice getting low and sensual, sending a side glance towards the girl. When she returns her eyes to the road, she moves her hand to Emily's thigh and slowly runs her hand up to almost the girl's hip, moving just an inch to the right teasingly before removing her hand. The touch sends electricity up Emily's spine and ignites a fire deep inside her. She lets out a long frustrated breath when Paige takes her hand away. She can't wait to get back home.

Paige is barely in the door of the house, when she's yanked the rest of the way in and enveloped into Emily's arms, lips crashing into hers. Wrapping her arms around Emily, she pulls the girl even closer, leaning into her. Emily slides her hands around to Paige's chest, moving them upward until they are on the brunette's shoulders under her jacket, which Emily quickly pulls back to let it fall down the girl's arms to the floor. Paige's hands make their way down to the Emily's waist taking in every curve of Emily's body as the dark-haired girl undoes the buttons of her vest, one by one, their eyes locked on each other.

Somehow, the girls manage to find their way to the bedroom without knocking anything over. They remember how to navigate through the house with their lips pressed together despite the years being spent apart. Paige takes control and leads Emily to the bed, stopping her before she lies down. She presses her lips to the girl's neck amidst dark following hair as she stands behind her. Finding the zipper to Emily's dress, she zips it down, following it until she's squatting at the hem of Emily's dress. She slides her hands down the long, silk-covered legs in front of her before taking handfuls of the dress in her hands and slowly easing her way back up taking the dress with her. She takes in the sight of the white lingerie hiding underneath as she lifts the dress, placing light, longing and lingering kisses on Emily's back. After her dress is pulled off over her head, Emily lays down on the bed, pulling Paige on top of her by the girl's shirt. Paige giggles but gladly follows until she's kneeling on the bed and ripping her own shirt off. The solider can't help but pause to look at the barely clothed beauty lying under her. She had lost all hope that she would ever see the sight outside of her dreams ever again. She becomes overwhelmed looking into her love's eyes and feeling her skin; she needs to feel more. She removes her pants and gently lays herself down on the other girl connecting their lips again. As their bodies touch, their skin ignites in an indescribable electricity they've only ever felt with each other. Emily moans at the connection and digs her fingertips into Paige's back, pulling her closer, wanting more.

"Is this really happening?" Paige breathes out into Emily's ear, sending shivers down the girl's back. Emily can feel the lingering disbelief that intermingles with passion and desire in the words. She pulls Paige's lips away from her neck to look into the soldier's love filled eyes.

"Yes," she whispers, run her fingers down the brunette's jaw. "This is happening, it's real."

"It's not a dream?"

"No Paige it's not a dream, it's our own beautiful reality." Emily smiles as she takes in the joy written all over the girl's face. "I love you," she adds firmly before giving Paige a deep, meaningful kiss.

"I love you too Emily and I plan to prove that to you all night."


	27. Chapter 27

I wake up exactly how I know I will wake up for the rest of my life: in the loving, warm arms of Emily Fields. Before I even open my eyes, I'm greeted by her warm, soft, even breathe on the bare skin of my chest where her head is resting peacefully as she sleeps. My head is still buzzing from the day before; there is no way it can all be real. The slight tingle I feel from her skin on mine has to be a part of this dream. I'm afraid that once I open my eyes the dream will end. It will all be over and she'll disappear. The night before was too perfect to be real.

_The look on Emily's face when I tell her I plan to make love to her all night is beyond sexy. Her eyes grow darker than I've ever seen, her smile displaying a mixture of mischief, passion and intense desire. The heat inside me grows stronger just looking into the depths of her dark eyes. I bring my lips back to hers for the maybe millionth time that day; a million not being nearly enough. I want more, I need more. I've been waiting years to feel her this way again, to move my body in rhythm with her again. I've dreamt and fantasied about those moans and whimpers of pleasure my touch elicits. I don't want to dream anymore. I can't wait any longer. There's no bra to remove since Emily's dress was open in the back so the only barriers remaining are mine and the white lace below me that barely passes as underwear. I position myself so that I'm kneeling between her legs and study every inch of her body, starting with her legs as I run my hands lightly up her shins continuing onto the inside of her thighs up to right below her hip bones where I hook my thumbs underneath the strings of her underwear, gently slipping them off. Looking back at her, I'm forced to pause at the flawless perfect woman lying before me. Her dark, smooth skin glows in the fading evening light flittering through the curtains. I begin to lean down, intent on kissing every inch, when she stops me._

"This isn't fair," she states with a sly smile, as she sits up. She slips her hands around my back and makes quick work of my bra and underwear, leaving us both bare. The anticipation is killing me and I can bare it no longer, so I lower my body onto hers slowly, feeling the fire rise in me as every inch of my skin that's connected to her aches from satisfaction. We moan together as we hold each other tightly, reveling in the feeling of our bodies pressed together so tightly that I'm surprised we didn't fuse our skin together. I can't get enough of her.

I begin kissing the soft skin of her chest as she runs her hands down my back and up my sides, over and over again. We're both extremely heated, silently begging for each other's touch. I finally decide we've both waited more than long enough so I dip my hand between us as I kiss the sensitive areas of her breasts. The sounds of pleasure escaping from her lips are sexy and beautiful. The buck of her hips when I finally reach my target, causes my desire to grow more than I ever thought possible. I work slowly, my rhythm matching hers. I watch as her eyes begin to roll back, her breathing getting heavier, her back arching more and more until her body eventually begins to pulse in time to her moans. I help her down from her high, slowing my rhythm and placing small loving kisses on her neck and lips. I'm still straddling her when she's capable to open her eyes.

"I love you, Emily," I whisper, staring into the deep, dark orbs looking back at me. She doesn't say anything, but she doesn't have to. Instead she pulls me down to kiss me deeply turning me over onto my back in the process before guiding me through the most amazing high, I've ever felt.

I definitely don't want to open my eyes. This dream can't end. I can't let it. I keep my eyes closed as I listen to her even breathing until she cuddles into my side further, causing me to grin. I chance opening my eyes, extremely happy at the result of my gamble when I see radiant dark hair, splayed across my chest. It's one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen. I feel her shift in my arms some more before receiving a series of soft kisses up my neck that land on my lips.

"Good morning," she says smiling against my lips. I answer her with a smile and a deep, lingering kiss.

"Hi," I say, when I'm finally able to open my eyes again and look into hers. I can't wipe the silly smile off my face. She's really here. She's finally mine again. Our connection is even more intense and beautiful than before. I've never experienced that level of passion and love before. It was incredible. We stare at each other for a while, grazing our fingertips across the skin of each other's faces, proving to ourselves that the other really is here. I kiss her forehead and then the tip of her nose, ending with her lips once again. The contact makes me let out a small soft moan. Will I ever get used to having her lips on mine again? Probably not, but I wouldn't have it any other way. "You're so beautiful," I say as I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear with a grin. "What would you like to do today, Em?"

"I think, we should stay right here," she says with a content smile, snuggling back into me. I can't help but keep the goofy smile on my face and I've decided I just do not want to fight it anymore. The situation is still unbelievable. I'm so utterly happy.

"I like that plan," I say agreeing with her, "but would you like some breakfast first?" Emily always loved it when I cooked for her, which wasn't often but I can make one mean breakfast, "I have eggs and bacon..." She looks at me, pretending to think before agreeing to eat something before we spend a day burning a few more thousand calories together. She gets up and begins to head out, only putting on some underwear and one of my t-shirts.

"You're going to want to put on some pants," I state, knowing there's at least a sixty percent chance that Spencer has gambled with the possibility of dying in her sleep by my hand once again. Emily cocks her head to the side, non-verbally asking me to explain. I begin to answer, "Spencer..."

"Is being detained by my father," she interrupts with a smile. I smirk back, knowing she had asked him to keep her and the other girls busy somehow. I can only imagine the kind of tasks he is putting them through.

"Half naked breakfast it is then," I state, the excitement of the idea apparent in my voice. I throw on some underwear of my own along with a tank top as I walk toward Emily waiting at the door. We work together to make each other breakfast. By that, I mean, I make breakfast and Emily does her best to distract me by standing behind me with her arms wrapped around my torso, pressing kisses to the sweet spots on my neck. I managed to fry some bacon and scramble some eggs, without burning either, despite being pulled in to be given a deep passionate kiss over my shoulder that took my attention away from the stove. Now, I can't help but stare at her as I sit across from her while we eat. This is everything I've ever dreamed of for my life; starting my day off with the love of my life. My mind wanders back to recall a conversation I had yesterday.

_"... But before you leave, I need to talk to Lieutenant McCullers...alone." I hear the captain's words right about the same time as a firm hand grips my shoulder. 'Uh oh' I think to myself as my eyes go wide and stomach drops. While he had been talking to Emily about the wedding not happening, I had turned my attention to Spencer to answer her questions about what Emily and I had said to each other before the almost-wedding. Now it's my turn to face whatever Captain Fields has to say about this whole ordeal. He seems to be happy to see me but if I never came back he wouldn't be paying for an event that never happened. As he pulls me off to the side, I send a worried glance to Emily and see that she looks about as worried as I do._

"Paige," Wayne begins when we are out of earshot. I stop him for only a moment in order to position ourselves so that Spencer can't see our mouths. If he pulled me out of earshot, he doesn't wanted Emily to know. He looks at me with a confused expression but I only wave it off, telling him to continue. _"Paige, do you remember the conversation we had right before you left?" It takes me a moment to mentally time travel back to that moment four years ago when I last talked to him. Was he really talking about that moment?_

"Uh, yes sir. I think so," I say hesitantly, my face showing the same caution.

"I know it's way too soon after all that's happened today, but I always thought you two were perfect together so I just wanted to let you know..." 

_Maybe he is talking about that conversation. _

_"...that whenever you feel ready again..." _

_I start to blush, positive he's talking about that very important question I asked him four years ago._

_ "…my answer is still the same." I smile at him, not knowing what else to do. This has to be what euphoria feels like._

"Sir, yes sir," I say plainly as my smile grows. "I'll be sure to wait. Wait till we're ready sir." I wouldn't do that to Stephanie anyway. She's a great person who loves the same woman I do and took care of her when I couldn't. She doesn't deserve any of this and I feel horrible since I know what she must be feeling. I can't say I'm not happy that Emily came back to me because that would mean I'd be lying through my teeth, but that girl definitely picked a very unfortunate moment to finally realize what her heart wanted.

"I love you Lieutenant," Wayne says almost too quiet to be heard. It's not often that soldiers will express their feelings for each other. We are taught, no trained, to keep it to ourselves but the two of us had developed an extremely special bond throughout the years that Emily and I dated. We really did love each other, in the same way that I love his wife; they are my adopted parents.

"I love you too, Captain," I say as he gives me a pat on the back. He leaves his hand there as we turn around to rejoin the group. "Must say, I love your daughter a lot more though, Sir."

Emily and I spend most of the day tangled together making up for lost time. Today may be in contention for one of the best days of my life. We are forced to break apart for a few hours in the afternoon when her parents call and ask to meet with her. They want to have a discussion about what happened yesterday as well as everything that needs to happen now. I stay behind, honoring Captain Fields request to have that conversation with Emily alone. I don't take it personally besides we'll be have dinner with them later in the evening. I pass the time relaxing on the couch, waiting for Emily to return to pick me up. She took my truck to meet them, since her car is across town at Hanna's. There's about thirty minutes left until three thirty (when Emily predicted she would return) when I hear a knock that doesn't belong to the TV. I expect to find there curious girls when I open the door so I'm completely shocked to find Stephanie standing out on the porch. Guilt fills me as I take in the sight of the worn woman in front of me, sadness written all over her face.

"Stephanie, hey..." I say with surprise apparent in my voice as I knit my eyebrows together in a nervous, guilty expression. I feel awful for what happened to her and it's all my fault.

"Hey... umm... Can I... I came to talk to Emily about what we are going to do about moving her things back here."

"I'm sorry Stephanie, she's not here right now," I reply casting my eyes to the ground, "She's talking to her parents about everything." Her face drops in realization that she'd have to muster more courage in order to come back again.

"Oh... Well, will you tell her I need to talk to her?" I feel bad, knowing this has to be extremely difficult.

"She's supposed to be back in about thirty minutes, you can wait here if you want," I offer in a feeble attempt to make up for being a part of her heartbreak. I can see in her face that's she's debating it, knowing it might be easier to tough it through sitting here than trying to coming back again. "Plus I have beer. And also whiskey if you need something stronger." The comment earns a soft but amused scoff. She looks up at me and I try my best to let her see I'm serious about helping her.

"Ok, yeah I could use a beer, thanks," she replies as she hesitantly walks past me through the door. I follow behind her to the kitchen and grab two beers when we get there, handing her one. She accepts it, takes a sip then leans forward so her elbows are resting on the counter in front of her. I watch as she fidgets with the label of her bottle, clearly she's nervous.

"I guess... I'll go upstairs until she gets here. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything," I say as walk past her to head for the living room stairs. She doesn't say anything but instead hangs her head and sighs. I pause in the doorway at the sound of the sigh.

"I'm sorry Stephanie," I state with my back still turned to her. She scoffs again.

"For what?" I turn around towards her astonished. For what? Is she serious? I shrug my shoulders and scrunch my face.

"For everything. For this, for yesterday, for everything that's happen since I came back," I hang my head, staring at the rim of my bottle as I run my finger in a circle around it.

"Paige..." She begins, rolling her head to look at me.

"No, Stephanie, we both know that if I hadn't come back, you two would be married right now. It's my fault she hurt you like this."

"Paige, sit down," she demands. I look at her hesitantly until I see her expression is serious so I sit down on one the stools. "Look, the only thing you did was stay alive." The look I receive from her is full of compassion and understanding. "Don't ever apologize for being alive."

I don't know what to think. Does she really not blame any of this on me? I dip my head, leaving it down because I still feel guilty and slightly ashamed. Did I really just apologize for being alive? Was that really my only crime?

"You aren't mad?" It's all I can think to say. I'm so confused.

"Of course I'm mad and I'm heartbroken. But that's not your fault," she replies with a deep sigh. "I'd love to be able to blame it on you, on anyone, so I don't have to be mad at Emily, but I can't." We lock eyes for a moment when we both look up. I can see the sadness and hurt in her eyes. "You didn't try to pursue her, you were just here. You supported her. You supported us. I can't be mad at you for loving the same woman as me, especially when that woman is Emily." I let out a small amused laugh at the last part of her statement.

"Yeah, she's pretty amazing, even when you're mad at her," I agree shaking my head slightly. She sighs again, taking a moment to keep her composure.

"That's for sure even now, it's hard to be mad at her," she admits as she takes a drink of her beer and moves to sit down in the stool across from me. "I don't know how you did it. It has to be horrible to have your heart ache for someone only to watch them be with someone else. I don't know how you did it. I certainly don't know how I'm going to." I let out a deep breath, knowing the pain she's feeling.

"Well, to tell you the truth, I wasn't going to make it much longer. It was one thing for you two to be dating but married?" I shake my head to emphasis my point. "I broke and walked out the door. If Emily hadn't stopped me, I would've been long gone by now. I was going to go home, pack what I needed and drive as far away from Rosewood as possible." I look up at her to see her staring at the now ripped up label on her bottle. "You want to know how I did it? How I was able to just let her be with you?" She nods yes, looking into my eyes as if she's pleading for me to help her find a way through this.

"I've always just wanted her to be happy and have a good life. Before I left, I made her promise she would move on and live her life. When I found out she had... That she found you, I told myself that I wouldn't interrupt her life more than I already had." I pause and look at her before taking another breath to continue, "I could see you made her happy, that you took care of her and allowed her to keep living her life. I will never be able to thank you enough for that. I'm just sorry it all happened the way it did and when it did."

"Yeah she doesn't have the best timing that's for sure," she remarks with an amused scoff causing me to laugh as well. I open my mouth to talk again but stop when I hear the door open and Emily's voice call out.

"Paige! I'm back!" She exclaims as she enters into the kitchen. "Here you ar... Stephanie."

Emily looks as if she's about to jump off a building. She goes ridged and the color drains from her face. She wasn't expecting this and I completely forgot to text her a warning, seeing as I was almost just as surprised.

"Hey Emily," Stephanie say sullenly. "Just wanted to talk to you about your stuff." Emily relaxes a little and looks to me. I give her a content nod, letting her know I'm ok without the words. They both look nervous and sad, not really sure how to begin.

"I'm going to go get ready for dinner," I say, breaking the short silence as I get up. "That way, you two can talk alone, if you don't need me." Both girls nod at me, so I start making my way past Emily to the door. I stop for a moment as I pass Emily to grab her hand. "If you need me, I'll be right upstairs," I whisper to her, receiving a nod. I squeeze her hand and continue out the door.

"Hey Paige..." I hear Stephanie say. I turn around in the door and look back at her. "Thanks for this." She lifts her bottle up slightly to indicate she's talking about the beer and our talk.

"Anytime," I reply with a small smile. I leave the two to talk and go upstairs to get ready for dinner, thinking about my conversation with Steph. The whole situation is just strange and confusing. All I know is that I hope that someday Stephanie finds her own soul mate, she deserves that.


	28. Epilogue

"Knock, knock." I hear a voice say as I look in the mirror adjusting my collar. I turn around to face the door and a smile grows on my face.

"Hey, Steph. How's it going?" She gives me a hug and pulls me back to scan me up and down, her hands on my shoulders.

"You look good," she says with a grin. I dip my head, a shy blush creeping onto my cheeks.

"She's right, you do look good," I hear another voice say from the doorway. She walks over and gives me a hug before retreating back to Stephanie's side, grabbing the short-haired girl's hand.

"Thanks Jamie," I say with a smile. The pair have been together for about a year now and seems to be really happy. I was thrilled when Stephanie had told us she met someone at one of her conferences and quickly discovered she didn't live far from Rosewood. My friendship with Stephanie has grown over the two years since she almost married Emily. She was thankfully able to forgive Emily and start hanging out with us and the other girls again. When Jamie joined the group, everything seemed to be falling into place.

"Well, you ready for this?" Stephanie says looking me up and down again. I dip my head again before looking back up at her so she can see the joy and contentment written all over my face.

"I've been waiting for this day for a very long time. I'm more than ready." The two girls smile at me, as I anxiously rub my hands together in front of me. We hear the door open a second later causing us all to turn around and see Spencer peek around the door.

"Alright people, let's get this show on the road!" She exclaims. I take a deep nervous breath and raise my eyebrows at Steph in a look that say, 'here we go!' I then begin to walk towards the door, beyond excited about what I'm about to do. Spencer stops me at the door to fix my collar and looks at me in the eyes, grabbing my face.

"Look at my little girl, all grown up," she says sarcastically, stepping in the role of my mother. "I'm so proud." She pretends to get choked up which makes be giggle slightly. I place me hands on her shoulders as she's still cupping my cheeks.

"Oh Spence, whatever would I do without your snark?" She doesn't laugh but instead lets her face stay straight as she pats one of my cheeks twice, letting her other hand drop.

"Live a boring, miserable existence," she says with a slight grin before turning away from me to walk towards the hall. All I can do is shake my head and follow her out. I'm blown away by the beauty of the room before me when I turn the corner. Hanna and Aria really outdid themselves. There are flowers and petals everywhere with matching fabric and ribbons hanging here and there on chairs and walls. I notice that the hall is pretty full with all of our friends and family as I'm walking to the front and turn around to see behind everyone.

My heart begins to race when I finally see her. She's beyond gorgeous. Her white dress flows down passed her ankles in a slight train while the rest fits snugly on her body extenuating her slight curves. She's so sexy. I can barely contain the joy and excitement bubbling in me as she gets closer and closer to me. The smiles on both of our faces are enormous. We've both been waiting for this day for a very long time. A day that I never thought I'd get to have when I was sitting in a dark cell those several years ago is finally here. I never even dreamed I'd get to see Emily in person again, let alone be minutes away from her becoming my wife. When she and Captain Fields are standing in front of me, I can't even begin to control the large smile on my face. The Captain finally gives me a hug before linking Emily's hand into mine. This is finally happening. This dream is finally coming true. To be honest, I don't hear most of the words the officiator says because I'm too busy staring at Emily with a huge, goofy grin on my face. I'm lost in her eyes as we stare into each other's; happier than I can possibly imagine I could ever be. I'm so lost and content in my paradise of her eyes, that I almost miss that I'm supposed to speak words now.

"Emily," I begin as I square my shoulders and take a deep breath. "I've loved you since the moment I met you all those years ago. You've kept me going through the good, bad and even the darkest periods of my life. Just thinking of you, your love and your strength got me through those hardest parts." I take a deep breath to try and contain the cracks beginning to creep into my voice. Looking into her eyes doesn't help to steady me since they are now becoming mistier as my speech continues. "I promise to spend every day from now until the end of eternity, showing you not only how much I love you but also how thankful I am to have you in my life. You mean the world to me. I love you Emily Fields." To my surprise I somehow managed to finish my vow to love of my life without completely breaking down. She continues to look into my eyes, as hers allow a few tears to escape. She lets out a small chuckle when I wipe them away with my thumb and whisper "I love you" once again. When I drop my hand, she takes a deep breath to calm her nerves and then gives me a million-dollar smile.

"From the moment I met you, I knew we had something special," she begins, "It took me a while to figure out what that something was but when I did and we finally got together that night by the pool, I knew my heart was yours forever." I smile and dip my head, letting out a deep breath before looking back up to let her finish. "When I lost you, I felt my entire world crumbling around me. Even though I had thought I had moved on, my heart never did. You coming back to me was a dream I thought would never be real but now we're here and I couldn't be more happy." My heart is pounding harder with every word she says. All I want to do is pull her into me and kiss her. I want to hold her right this instant and never let go but I have to wait like five more minutes. Five minutes too long if you ask me. "I love you so much, Paige."

She slips the ring on my finger a moment later and I can literally feel my heart soar. The moment her lips finally touch mine, I feel as though I may actually explode with love and happiness. This is really it. My dreams have finally become reality. Emily Fields is finally my wife.

* * *

**Well folks, that's it. That's the end. I hope you enjoyed the ride! If you didn't like it, I'm sorry to hear that but that's for reading** **anyway. For all of you that reviewed so far or sent me messages, I can't thank you enough for all the amazing things you have all said. I honestly am floored by the amount of support and love this story and my writing has gotten. I love you all and thank you so much!**

**-A**


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